That title up there ^^^^ is why I stay home and have not been out socializing as much as I used to. The other night I was out with some friends and a guy approached me and grabbed me by my wrist and pulled me up to him so we could dance. When he grabbed my wrist, I pulled away and gave him a quick evil eye and asked him, “Let me guess, your mother didn’t teach you any manners and now I’m forced to deal with your bullsh*t on the dance floor?”. After he noticed that I wasn’t amused by his antics he quickly apologized for his rudeness and asked politely if I wanted to dance.
So sure. I danced with the man for a few minutes. I like to keep my boundaries known when I’m dancing with a stranger. I don’t want to feel like I’m being groped, I don’t want to feel someones manhood rubbing up against my backside and I don’t want someone breathing down my neck. After our short dance, he offered to buy me a drink, but I told him I’d prefer a bottle of water. We chatted for a few and learned we had a few friends in common in the DC area. God only knows how small the world is and he definitely proved it.
He asked the typical, ‘size ’em up’ questions. You know. Where do you live? Got kids? What do you do? Where did you go to school? Where do you work? Since living in this area, I’ve somewhat gotten used to those questions because it seems as though people are constantly trying to out do each other.
The man seemed like a nice enough person, until he decided to tell me, “You make for good breeding”.
I gave him my, “WHAT THE FUCK FACE????”
I took a few minutes to comprehend what he just told me and I asked him what exactly did he mean by that, considering the fact that the only breeding I know of is when my uncle used to breed dogs. The bamma, yes by this point I can only refer to him as a bamma, basically went on to state that from my looks I could either give him a tall son, considering that I’m about 5’10, who could either excel at football or basketball, or because of my looks, a pretty ass (these are his exact words) daughter with long curly hair! The bamma then went on to say that because I seemed to be ‘well-put-together’, that there is probably little that I would be dependent upon him for.
See ladies and gentlemen, this is why so many women are single nowadays. If these are the lines men are currently dishing out to women, shit, by all means get yourself a B.O.B (battery operated boyfriend), because obviously the pickings are slim.
Women & Men…I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s been subjected to crazy pick up lines…what are some of the ones you’ve heard?