Yesha Callahan

The Maury Povich Generation


Imagine a playground setting about 13 yrs from now, and the conversation that could take place:

Tiffany: I saw an old videotape with your mother on it.

Mark: What are you talking about?

Tiffany: Your moms! Remember that show from back in the day? You know the one, “You are not the father!!”??

Mark: OOOh, yeah, Maury something. That was my moms n’em favorite show.

Tiffany: Funny, well this episode your moms was on it! With like 4 dudes lined up, trying to figure who your daddy was.

Mark: (blank stare on his face)

Tiffany: Oh, my bad, she must not have told u about that.

Mark: (runs off screaming in embarrassment) MOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!

I can’t remember the first time I heard Maury utter those famous words, “YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER”, but every morning, after all of these years, you can still either see him tear families/relationships further apart or bring people closer together, with a simple, “You Are Not The Father,” or “You Are The Father”!

The majority of the children who are at center of these paternity tests are usually newborns or toddlers, so they literally have no idea what’s going on. That is until they’re old enough to either hear the gossip coming from other friends/family members of their parents, or if they happen to find that video tape of their parents 15 minute segment of fame.

I’m not even going to sit here and say that Maury only targets black families either. He can go from ghetto fabulous to trailer park trash within the time of the average commercial break. My question is, where do they find these people? Who sits at home, with a baby sitting on the floor and decides to call Maury instead of heading into their social services office, to handle the establishment of paternity?

I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume these people:

Want a free trip to NYC

Truly have too much time on their hands

Figure it would be a good way to embarrass themselves and their family

Don’t give a damn about how their actions could affect their children down the road

All of the above

What’s going to happen to these kids in the future? Will the Maury Povich Generation repeat their parent’s ‘mistakes’? Will Mark sleep around with 5 different women, get them all pregnant and deny that he’s the father? Or will, Mark realize that he has to do better than the product of the environment that he came from? Will Tiffany let every Tom, Dick & Raheem go at it without protection, only to realize that 9 months later, she can’t distinguish who the father might be? These are classic examples of why “it takes a village.”

You are the father!

You Are Not The Father!

  1. December 15, 2008 - Reply

    What’s truly sad is that even after people watching this mess on tv, people still want to subject themselves to it…

  2. December 15, 2008 - Reply

    I hate how SURE they are. Like 1001% until he says they are NOT the father and they take off like Flo Jo of old. I’ve been saying this for years though. Some kid is gonna see that and be messed up in the head.

    • December 16, 2008 - Reply


      Yeah, just don’t let me find u on

      • December 17, 2008 - Reply

        @[fung'ke] [blak] [chik]

        Nah, I know who my baby daddy gone be…lol

  3. December 15, 2008 - Reply

    Oh the hilarity of it all…Maury has made boocoo (or for us boughie folks, beaucoup) dollars off of this mess. He doesn’t have to have any other topics except for this one, bad kids going to boot camp and is it a wo/man?

    • December 16, 2008 - Reply


      I miss the drag queen shows! Those were my favorite!

  4. December 15, 2008 - Reply

    Maury rips families apart or are you already headed for destruction if you ever considered going on the show in the first place.
    Word to the wise… if anyone invites you on a daytime talk show, just don’t. even if they promise the subject is “I love you and want to give you a million dollars”… don’t.
    True story,
    frind from back in high school calls me and says, “hey dude, just thought I’d let ya know I’m going to be on TV this Monday!”
    me: “seriously? coll, what for?”
    friend: “I’m on Super-Nannny. They paid us five grand, had a bunch of camera guys live with us for a week, and we got to meet and talk with the host.”
    me: “cool…wait… you were the DAD on super-nanny? are you crazy? that can’t turn out good.”
    friend: “yeah I know but its TV, besides my wife really wanted us to go on the show.”
    me: “that’s even worse. Are you sure you want to call people?”
    It turned out to be thier top rated episode ever.
    He looked like a fool.

    • December 16, 2008 - Reply


      I remember a long time ago a friend wanted to bring me on Ricky Lake, thankfully I passed, it was someone from my past who had a crush on me…and I couldn’t stand him!

  5. December 15, 2008 - Reply

    OFF TOPIC: *This blog and writer is not associated with any other “funky(insert random color or ethnicity name)chick” (or similar) domains, blogs or screen names.

    • December 16, 2008 - Reply


      Yes, and it’s been there since

  6. December 15, 2008 - Reply

    Many of those people are fake. How do they all know to run back into the green room, drop to their knees (or on the couch) and cry and howl? THEY WERE TRAINED ON HOW TO RESPOND. The babies probably don’t belong to anyone on the stage. I highly doubt that many of these cases are real. How many people really have 10 potential baby daddies, not the myriad he has brought out on this show. They are either pretending for the free trip (I know people who did this o Jerry Springer) or are hired (horrible) “actors”.

    • December 16, 2008 - Reply


      You’d be surprised how many women sleep with multiple men…and wind up getting pregnant..but I’m sure they’ve been pretty much coddled into coming on the show.

  7. December 15, 2008 - Reply

    When that mans dies, they gonna put “You are NOT the father” on his tombstone. If it ain’t the damn paternity shows he has, it’s those damn outta control kids. I STILL don’t get that shit. Ain’t no kid of mine that I made gonna be runnnin’ my ass and whoopin’ me and cussin’ me in the house that I pay the bills in. FUCK THAT SHIT!!! *Mumblin’* Talkin’ bout “I can’t control her/him. she’s/He’s too outta control*.
    KNOCK THE FUCK OUTTA YOUR KIDS!!! IT HELPS!!! Hell, even if it DON’T help, scare the fuck outta them SOMEWAY!!
    Hell, what I know? I ain’t got no damn kids.

    • December 16, 2008 - Reply

      @Wizzy Jr.

      Wizzy, you are crazy! LMAO!

      • December 16, 2008 - Reply

        @[fung'ke] [blak] [chik]

        Hell, I’m just sayin’.

  8. December 15, 2008 - Reply

    LMBAO @ wizzy jr…

  9. December 15, 2008 - Reply

    Hilarious! I loved those clips…but we need to really interview Maury – for real!

    • December 16, 2008 - Reply

      @Darius T. williams

      LOL! That would be a great idea…let me make a few

  10. December 16, 2008 - Reply

    Girl, I remember when Maury used to be a decent talk show with real themes and insight a’la Donahue. Now it’s You Are Not The Father on every episode. I guess you can say he found his “niche”.
    Anyway, I do not subscribe to the mis-truths perpetuated on this show, BUT, it is a shame that the producers can even find women who would even show their faces on television regarding such a topic. A friend told me a few years back that a woman had been on there on 6 separate occasions, and each time, HE WAS NOT THE FATHER.
    Lawd, strike me down now!
    I think the free trip and hotel accommodations are enough to get these folks to act a fool on television.Sad, so sad. But whatevs. I simply just turn the channel…

  11. December 16, 2008 - Reply

    I think the worst part of the show is the super-overweight babies.
    The ones that eat the huge plates of spaghetti and cake for breakfast and drink soda out of a sippy cup.
    The overreacting deadbeat dads are bad, too.

  12. July 22, 2009 - Reply

    I think the show really exploits the children. The parents are adults so they can do what they wanna do but I don't think it should be legal for the kids to be on television for these kind of shows that can really come back to haunt them and embarrass them in the future. I would be so angry at so many people if I were one of these children and later had to deal with this.

  13. July 23, 2009 - Reply

    I think the show really exploits the children. The parents are adults so they can do what they wanna do but I don't think it should be legal for the kids to be on television for these kind of shows that can really come back to haunt them and embarrass them in the future. I would be so angry at so many people if I were one of these children and later had to deal with this.

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