I truly hate when the start of my week goes to the dogs early on, but I refuse to let it happen, even though it almost did. It’s pretty ironic that I live in an area that has some of the most successful men/women under the age of 40, but yet in still so many of my girlfriends and myself included are single. I’m always amazed at the fact that you can seemingly have everything going for yourself, but in the terms of relationships, things just won’t fall into place the way you want them.
I’m not going to rant & rave about individual people, and I’m not going to lump all men in the same category, but SOME seriously need to realize, that they can’t have their cake and eat it too. I seriously think that there are some men that are genetically challenged and predisposed to malfunctioning in relationships. You have the ones who seem to be able to cope well in fuckerships but once it’s start to feel too much like a relationship they bail out or start playing the asshole role, so that’ll make you want to bail out. This is so much what I expect from men in their 20’s, but 30’s & 40’s? When will the madness ever stop? I mean damn, do they realize they’re not getting any younger? For example, I have a friend who currently has a ‘live-in’ and I’m not going to delve too much into details, but this man recently had the audacity to tell her, that he still ‘reserves the right to see other women’. WTF. I told her to tell him, that she still reserves the right to ask for rent and/or kick his ass out. Plain & simple.
So as I’m sitting here earlier today, trying not to procrastinate my day off away, low and behold, John Legend’s song, “Another Again” comes on. Great. Just. Great. If this song isn’t the epitome of what I’m going through, I don’t know what is. At one time, I would cry and stress over the situation, but at this point, it’s not even worth it. It comes to a point when you’re “all cried out“. It’s interesting how some people are like drugs (not that I’ve ever taken any). You know drugs aren’t good for you, but when you’re an addict, you can’t help but being drawn to it. In my situation, I know that a certain person will never give me what I want and the type of relationship that I want, but yet in still, because of attraction and familiarity, I’m still drawn to the idea of the ‘infinite possibilities’ of what could be or better yet, what I would like it to be.
Not to leave my girlfriends out of the story, I have friends who are going to drastic extremes by doing things like artificial insemination, because they’ve just about given up on the idea of marriage and starting a family after being married. Basically, they’re on the premise that they’re not getting any younger and may have to take an unconventional route. These are successful women, degreed, homeowners, etc..etc..but trying to find a needle in a haystack seems to be a lot easier than finding a man who not only realizes their worth but his own as well.
What’s a woman to do? Sometimes, I can only laugh at certain situations and blame myself for allowing things to transpire the way they have. A lot of times my girlfriends and I can just have a normal conversation on the phone with laughter one minute but then have tears streaming down our faces the next. It’s days like this where I just want to visit the fertility clinic, pick out my designer sperm and call it a day. It’s a hell of a lot easier than trying to find a man in this haystack called the MD/DC metro area.