Yesha Callahan

If He Liked It & Put A Ring On It, The Least He Can Do Is Wear His In Public

“With this ring, I thee wed”, said the groom.

I’m confused.

If you’re going to spend thousands of dollars on an engagement ring/wedding bands, a wedding, reception and honeymoon, but then turn around and NOT wear your wedding ring in public, then what’s the point?

I always thought a wedding ring signified  that you have found a loving partner, a friend with whom you can share the rest of your life and therefore you wear and display it proudly. I know most women, take great pride in flashing their carats around, and making sure everyone takes notice, especially if it’s a huge rock. I remember wearing my own engagement ring before I sold that shit and made sure everyone took notice for that very short period of time before I found out he was a sociopath.

But men, nowadays, it seems like some of you are on some other shit.

Chances are, if you’re a single woman, and you come across a man, usually the first thing you check for is a band on his finger. Right?  No band= Single, Not Married…right? Basically that man is fair game, until he tells you other wise.  Who are you to assume that a ringless man is a married man?

Why would a man not wear his wedding ring in public? Is it too bulky? It flashy? Too tight?  Is he a cheating ass dog? School me, because inquiring minds would like to know. If I was married, and found out my husband PURPOSEFULLY would remove his wedding ring, when he left his house, and I happened to find out, I would surely question his motives in doing so.

Women, what would you do if you found out your husband didn’t wear his ring in public? Would you question his motives? Faithfulness? Men, why would you not wear your wedding ring in public?

  1. March 31, 2010 - Reply

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Danssey Sunjikpi, lyneka little. lyneka little said: RT @fungkeblakchik: New Post : "If He Liked It & Put A Ring On It, The Least He Can Do Is Wear His In Public"- http://tinyurl.com/yj2lp5u […]

  2. March 31, 2010 - Reply

    This has happened to me more than few times while I was out. I meet a man, start talking to him and then we will talk and he’ll casually slip in that he’s married and it’s just like… Really? Why aren’t you wearing your ring then? “I just don’t like to wear it all the time.” a.k.a. either they’re cheaters OR they like to get hit on by women when they’re out just so they can know they’ve “still got it.” Either way, grimetastic.

    • March 31, 2010 - Reply

      @Jalapeño

      Grimey is an understatement…and usually they won’t bring up the fact that they’re married until AFTER you ask the question…and usually if you’re asking the question, it won’t be a “hey are you married”, it’ll be a “hey, are you single? dating?”.

  3. March 31, 2010 - Reply

    This is soo funny to me. My husband playing football usually doesn’t wear his ring outside the locker room on the field but he does as soon as he is done. But I have made sure that in the off season when he is smaller he has a ring that fits. He is a season ring which is bigger than the off season. lol I never asked, we never discussed, I just did it. It was clear that I was not playing with him wearing that ring. All the men I do know that do not wear their rings all have a specific motive for doing so and it usually is unfaithfulness.
    At the same time there are plenty of women who will over look a brother without a ring to find one who is wearing one…..

    • March 31, 2010 - Reply

      @Kissalife

      “At the same time there are plenty of women who will over look a brother without a ring to find one who is wearing one”….and there-in is the problem as well…there’s that population out there that prefer married men and condone their unfaithfulness…those men in return then assume, the next woman will be like that as well!

      • March 31, 2010 - Reply

        @[fung'ke] [blak] [chik]

        I’ve always said that women are the ones that have the power to put this foolishness to and end. After all, the power lies in the pussy. Point blank.

  4. March 31, 2010 - Reply

    I always check for a ring, not that means anything seeing as though so many cheaters feel like that ring gets in the way of them being able to pull side chicks. Even if I don’t see a ring, I ask. If I find out the dude is married, I step OFF and fast. Cheating men are NASTY and disrespectful. I imagine them to be egotistical sociopaths teeming with viral & bacterial disease. They are subhuman primates, unable to control themselves, given to sticking their dicks wherever they are allowed and will tell any lie to do so and to CONTINUE to do so.
    When I was married, my husband and I wore our rings. If he was going to cheat (and he didn’t…that’s not why we divorced), he’d have to do it with that band blinging against the pale moonlight. Shiiiiit.

  5. March 31, 2010 - Reply

    Hmm… I’m not sure why, but in the grand scheme of things this one isn’t a huge deal for me. We found rings we liked a few months before we started talking about getting married and agreed those would be the rings we would use. We kept with that. I know he has to take it off at work (he works with heavy equipment) and occasionally has left with the rings locked up with his tools.
    And then there’s me. … On busy days in the office those jokers come off with the QUICKNESS. And what IDIOT left her rings in a locked desk drawer over the weekend? ME. Ordinarily it’s not an issue except we went out with our crew – I felt NAKED without them. (Plus, it makes it harder to point at the menacing looking guy at the end of the bar and say to the bama that has presented himself “There’s my husband” when you’re not wearing your ring(s)). … but I digress…
    When I was in the habit of meeting men out in the world, my rule of thumb was to assume they were married unless they told me otherwise and then assume they were lying until they could PROVE it!

    • April 1, 2010 - Reply

      @Silky

      I def understand someone who doesn’t want to damage their ring while working…and your last line..was FTW!

  6. March 31, 2010 - Reply

    My hubby never wore his ring, unless we were going out. The reason he never wore his ring to work is he was a cable network technician and worked in cramped, wet and yucky areas. He said so he wouldn’t damage it. I believed him. And I knew and so did everyone who came around him know that he was happily married. IDK, I trusted him and never had a “snitch” explain how he was her man. By the way, I am now a “snitch” convert too. I cant wait for a cheatin man to run up on me and try and start some mess.
    Love your Blog
    Pam

  7. March 31, 2010 - Reply

    I’m thinking….. does it matter? If he wears it or not? If he doesn’t, do it mean he doesn’t love you? I believe that if you are secure in your marriage, it doesn’t matter either way.

    • April 1, 2010 - Reply

      @Tonia

      I didn’t want to give background information in what prompted this post..but the person in question apparently is a habitual cheater…so it’s his M.O ‘not’ to wear his ring…

  8. March 31, 2010 - Reply

    I don’t understand it either. Like you, there would be some “splaining” to do. I agree with PBG, the women who put up with it don’t help the situation at all. I wrote about it a few months ago, there were some interesting comments (http://www.curvygurlchronicles.com/2009/11/put-ring-on-it-dammit.html)

  9. March 31, 2010 - Reply

    I’ve been in/around the military for quite a while and I’ve ALWAYS had this question. I’ve known men to wear a ring on ANY other finger except the ring finger (I even had a Pastor that wore a PINKY ring, but wouldn’t wear a wedding band). When I ask them why, the #1 answer I get is ‘it gets in the way’. When I ask ‘in the way of what?’, the subject is quickly changed. Personally I don’t judge a man by if he’s wearing a wedding ring…I ask them up front. I assume nothing.

    • April 1, 2010 - Reply

      @Margaret

      Oh military men…that’s a whole ‘nother story..maybe one day I’ll write about it lol

      • April 1, 2010 - Reply

        @[fung'ke] [blak] [chik]

        Please do!! I’ve seen all types of military men…the most creative of the species. LOL!

  10. April 1, 2010 - Reply

    Everyone has some convoluted reason to break with tradition this days. That’s why I always ask. The only acceptable reason not to wear one is work. If a man is an electrician, construction worker, etc, I can understand him not wearing his ring. All other reasons are suspect, especially since we’re more likely to meet in a social setting where he wouldn’t be working anyway.

  11. April 2, 2010 - Reply

    I very rarely wear any type of jewelry but if I was married, I’d sport my ring with pride. To me it’s more of a status symbol to me to be a married man not ashamed to say so. Sadly men who don’t wear rings make those who do look even better for merely doing what they’re supposed to. I’m not surprised if it raises a man’s stock because “he ain’t ashamed” as if he was ever supposed to be. If I don’t want to wear it, I’m not going to wed it.
    As for not wearing it, my brother doesn’t wear his b/c he’s an electrician. It’s easier for him to not have to remember to take it off and on. Electrocution is not a risk he’s willing to take understandably. However, he is quick to tell anyone he meets, male or female, that he’s married with children. He drives a van complete with car seats and all.
    I feel the only time not wearing a ring without some “legitimate” reason is foul is if dude is trying to front like he isn’t married. Why get married if you don’t want to be (or appear) married? And my inner hypocrisy flares up a lil b/c I always expect women to rock theirs.
    Maybe I got it twisted.

    • April 3, 2010 - Reply

      @Mr. Analytical

      I take my rings off only when I’m showering or giving myself a manicure. Pissed at the spouse because he lost his band– he isn’t a “ring” person, but clearly a very careless one. I do know of other men who don’t wear their rings and say that they don’t feel any less married than the ones who do. The rings are supposed to be symbolic of the commitment two people share. I guess it does not mean that much to some….

  12. April 2, 2010 - Reply

    “before I sold that shit” Dead!!!
    I wear my ring out in pubic & hate when I forget it while rushing out of the house.

  13. April 3, 2010 - Reply

    I often question my married male friends when I see them without their wedding rings. I tell them that they know that most women see them that they believe they are single. I always wonder for whose benefit do they avoid the rings. Like you said, is it bulky, ugly or annoying to wear.” What would they say if their wife started sticking hers in the wallet.
    Tiffany
    http://liferequiresmorechocolate.blogspot.com

  14. April 3, 2010 - Reply

    girl, you are funny. b4 you sold it though? that is hilarious. but hey, why let a an engagement ring for a wedding that aint gonna happen go to waste? you got that money! lol. anyway, I think that unless a man has an OCCUPATION that requires otherwise, he betta wear his wedding ring. and if he happens to “forget” to put in on for more than 2 days in a row, he’s getting cursed out, no questions asked.
    by the way, love your blog!
    mz.jonezy

  15. April 5, 2010 - Reply

    Hi Fungke Chick–My husband and I have been married for 6 years now. It’s both our seconds.
    We do love each other, but those first five years was off tha hook! It’s mellow now by God’s grace. Neither one of us wear our rings. I wear mine only at church–(don’t ask).
    He’s a little more emotional than I am and whenever I made him mad, he took it out on the ring. He’d take it off to “punish” me–(don’t ask). One day when I ran away from him, that really pissed him off and he did away with the ring altogether. I noticed that he never wore it and he finally admitted that the ring was “destroyed”! Now things are so cool between us! We finally grew up and decided to trust each other and the rings don’t mean anything really. I was thinking about us getting new rings to consecrate our newfound maturity, but I havent done it yet–whatever, I guess. I know that is straight off tha hook, but it’s real. I think I may have commented at Curvy Girl’s about this subject!

  16. April 5, 2010 - Reply

    Hola! I don’t wear my ring. He works with his hands all day so I don’t really expect him to wear it. I truly forget to put mine on. The ring doesn’t define our marriage or our bond so I don’t make a big deal about it. I actually get hit on more when I have mine on! Our society is so warped now that a ring on a finger is no longer a deterrent. If your man is going to cheat, a ring on his finger aint stopping him.

  17. April 5, 2010 - Reply

    Hey fungeblakchik! My hubby and I have been together, oh forget about it, lets just say long as hell. He also works with his hands, electrician to be exact, and he doesn’t wear his ring to work, but on the weekend, or whenever he goes anywhere outside of work he wears it. Quite honestly, it doesn’t even matter. You know why? Because he knows his ass is married, and if it takes a ring to remind him then I wouldn’t want him. Seriously! I know too many men who sport their rings and is a lying, cheating, man-whore (i.e. Tiger ‘too many’ Woods). So the ring is a symbol, but that is all. Marriage is in the heart, and mind.
    Your twitter sister,
    Writing Addict!

  18. April 7, 2010 - Reply

    Well, Well! My husband and I have been married (in July) for one year. He is in another state right now because he is in the army. I knew he didn’t wear his ring to work because it’s -uncomfortable- Well some new friend posted some pictures of him at a house party. Low and behold he wasn’t wearing his ring. I’m so hurt and pissed to say the least. I have to trust this man wile were apart or I will go insane. That just put alot of doubt in my mind and my hart aches. I told him I’m going to take my rings off now just so he can feel the way I do. But, to be honest, I really don’t think he cares.

  19. April 9, 2010 - Reply

    My ex husband used to keep his wedding band IN HIS CAR. He, too, was/still is a sociopath.
    When I realized this… I flushed it down the toilet. *shrug* What the f*ck is the point keeping it if you’re not going to wear it & you’re not respecting me or our “marriage”?! I didn’t think he needed to… 😀

  20. April 9, 2010 - Reply

    My ex husband used to keep his wedding band IN HIS CAR. He, too, was/still is a sociopath.
    When I realized this… I flushed it down the toilet. *shrug* What the fuck is the point keeping it if you’re not going to wear it & you’re not respecting me or our “marriage”.

  21. April 10, 2010 - Reply

    Wonderful post! I love your blog, and am a longtime reader. I will be back monday!

  22. April 29, 2010 - Reply

    Hello, I can’t find the email to this blog. I wanted to see if the owner of this blog would allow me to advertise on their website for a price? I think you have some insightful content and maybe we could help each other.

  23. May 3, 2010 - Reply

    great post as usual!

  24. July 19, 2010 - Reply

    try it best .

  25. August 24, 2010 - Reply

    Tiger and Elin are now divorced after all. Well, I guess that’s better than daily terror. I hope he’ll be able to concentrate on golf once again following all this.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: