Yesha Callahan

I Can’t Imagine You Naked

 

I’m superficial. There, I’ve said it. Yes, it’s not a good thing to admit, but I think if more people admit their own faults, the world would be a better place.  Let the record also show that by no means am I supermodel status, I’m just your average tall chick with big hair.  Everyone has heard the saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”…but I’d like to ask, “Who wants to be-holding a badger?”.

Recently I met a guy who happened to be a friend of my brother. I can’t say he was my ‘type’, but he seemed like a pretty cool person. My brother always referred to him as the ‘corny white guy who sings too much’. Usually when I date white men, I typically like more of an Abercrombie & Fitch guy, than a  baggy jeans & timberland white guy. If you dress like my 14 year old cousin, chances are, we’re really not compatible. Also, I like a man who is somewhat in shape. No, he doesn’t have to have bulging biceps or cut up abs, just someone who knows what a gym looks like and uses it occasionally. Needless to say, he was not that type of person.

Eventually he got around to asking me out on a date. I didn’t want to be rude and say no, b/c he knew my brother. So I took him up on his offer. I thought to myself, maybe I didn’t get a good enough look the first time, maybe there is a little more to him than his pudginess and baggy clothes.

At dinner, I remember sitting there trying to imagine him naked. Stripped down from his baggy jean shorts & over sized Polo shirt, all I could imgaine was a pale flabby belly, pink nipples and his child bearing hips. At one point I started to gag and had to get the visuals out of my head.  I guess he saw the look on my face because he asked what was wrong. I said that something went down the wrong way as I was chewing.

If I can’t imagine you naked, it’s a moot issue. As I said before, I’m superficial when it comes to certain things. Now, there have been men with less than stellar bodies that I’ve dated, but when I imagined them naked, it was a different story. I guess the attraction to them was just that strong and superseded those issues. There were also the ones that I would say to myself, “Wow, I’d rather see you with clothes on”. For example, I have an ex who had the skinniest of legs, so he would wear shirt & sock garters, to hold his shirt down in his pants and keep his socks up. He would wear them EVERYDAY, you’d think I would have been used to him wearing them, but I wasn’t.

 

Every time he would get undressed, I couldn’t help but to LOL at him and his skinny little ashy legs. I would just shake my head and try to force back the tears from the laughter. I even remember talking to a female who dated him as well, and one of the things we both laughed at was his sock garters!

Yeah, yeah, I know. No one is perfect. I’ll be the first to admit that as well. Maybe there’s a guy out there who didn’t like my knock-knees, or *gasp* dare I even mention a few stretch marks. But, you know what, everyone has their preferences, and being able to imagine someone naked is definitely a prerequisite in my book.

 

 

  1. August 31, 2008 - Reply

    I think that… I have a really good imagination when it comes to um, imagining chicks naked.

    • August 31, 2008 - Reply

      @Mark!

      Hmmm…for some reason, I believe you when you say that..lol!

  2. August 31, 2008 - Reply

    Too funny. I’ve had some really crazy things cross my mind during casual conversations so you can imagine what I think about on dates. Sometimes you just know what you like and there’s a short dealbreaker list (I think that’s #347A in the superficial justifications handbook…lol).

    • August 31, 2008 - Reply

      @CurvyGurl

      I have given up on keeping track of the # of things I have on the dealbreaker list..I add to it on a daily basis and just about after every date I go on..lol!

  3. August 31, 2008 - Reply

    LOL – I have never even heard of socks and shirts garter until now! I don’t think we would have made it past the first encounter, I would still be laughing! OMG, I will never be able to look at garter belts the same after this one!

    • August 31, 2008 - Reply

      @Blake

      Girl, when I first saw them, I was like “WTF??!”…I just started laughing hysterically..I’ve only seen them on movies, and never knew people wore them on a daily basis..well I actually think he’s the only one who does…lol

  4. September 1, 2008 - Reply

    lol have a gr8 wekeend

  5. September 2, 2008 - Reply

    I feel where you are coming from!!! I was freinds with this guy for almost 4 years and he would be the “perfect” man for me but I want to throw up when I think about him naked!! Needless to say that one day he came on to me and I ran out the door cause I couldn’t take it!!!

  6. September 2, 2008 - Reply

    And thats why your ass is single!
    LOL

    • September 2, 2008 - Reply

      @RiPPa

      always the wise ass..don’t make me have to come to memphis! lol

  7. September 2, 2008 - Reply

    *raises hand*
    I’m guilty of imagining what someone looks like naked…I mean shouldn’t we be ATTRACTED to the person we decide to date? I know right off the bat whether I would sleep with a man…why? Because if I can’t imagine myself being in the same bed as him naked…I already know it’s NOT HAPPENING!

  8. September 2, 2008 - Reply

    My imagination is way out of control so this would deff not be a good thing for me to do!

  9. September 3, 2008 - Reply

    being superficial is human. Attraction is a cobo of what is seen and what is imagined. And if what you imagine is as bad as what you see, then forget it hahahah

  10. September 3, 2008 - Reply

    I used to imagine Tyson Beckford naked until I saw his hairy man parts on Bossip.
    I’ll pass. Idris Elba anyone?

  11. September 3, 2008 - Reply

    (WARNING: take precaution if opening at work) this is the pick. Idk i like the o’natural thing but…public nudity displays like this are just childish
    http://www.bossip.com/25304/pubic-swag/tysonhairycrotch3/

    • September 3, 2008 - Reply

      @LeNoir

      WOW…Can you say ‘nappy dugout’..someone had that man some trimmers/nair, STAT!

  12. September 3, 2008 - Reply

    Hilarious…we know men do it all of the time. It’s fair play. They have to realize women want a man that’s fit too.

    • September 3, 2008 - Reply

      @ConfessionOfaSBW

      That is so true, but the first instance a woman states her preferences, she’s called being picky or superficial…if that’s the club I’m going to be thrown in, then I’m the President!

  13. September 3, 2008 - Reply

    BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Pele

  14. September 3, 2008 - Reply

    “I’m superficial. There, I’ve said it. Yes, it’s not a good thing to admit, but I think if more people admit their own faults, the world would be a better place.”
    I love it.

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