I swear to god & all of his disciples, if I hear someone else mention to me the news piece that was done last week in regards to the high percentage of black women not being married, I’m going to scream. I’m so tired of hearing about the plight of the black woman when it comes to dating and marriage. I’m also tired of seeing a comedian turned relationship expert, who has a noted history of cheating on his wives providing his ‘expert’ analysis of the ‘epidemic’. If you let Steve Harvey tell it, the standards that black women have are too high, hence why they’re single. Well, let me be the first to say, “Fuck You Steve Harvey”. Let me also add, if someone else mentions the book, “Bitch Is The New Black”, by Helena Andrews, I might just hit them upside the head with Steve Harvey’s garbage book.
Here’s a simple solution to the “Why Black Women Aren’t Married” crisis (sic), that’s been beaten like a dead horse over the past couple of weeks.
BLACK WOMEN, STOP WAITING AROUND FOR YOUR BLACK KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re probably saying, “Well what about black love?”.
My response, “Well what about people love?”.
Unlike the news piece that aired about two weeks ago, I’m not going to mention the statistics they used against black men, because we all know, the reason why those were mentioned. In my own experiences, I can’t say that I know a plethora of black men who are uneducated, incarcerated, gay, on drugs, or already married. The black men I know, are successful, college educated, financially responsible, and employed. But, guess what. They’re exercising their options when it comes to dating! They’re out there dating the Kim & Khloe Kardashians, Eva Mendes’ & whatever other non-black female they can get their hands on, and they’re making no qualms about it. Now, I’m not advocating for black women to go out & throw themselves at any non-black man that comes their way, or to even stop dating black men in general. Don’t run out and sign up for JDATE like some desperate self-hating black women do and end up finding themselves fulfilling some white man’s antebellum fantasy. What I am advocating is keeping your options open, because black men surely are.
I’d also like to know why is it now a crime to be single? Why is it presumed that all black women are rushing to the alter? I don’t see news shows asking white women why they find themselves not to be marriage material. Want to know why? Because, no one makes a fuss if a white woman has high standards! I guess it’s a given that they’re supposed to have them. But god forbid a black woman is single, and she makes her preferences known and her standards happen to be ‘high’, she’s basically told she’s reaching for the unattainable. Double standard much?
Black women, keep your high standards, but also realize that you may have to work harder than the average white chick to find the man you want. Also, in keeping your high standards, it doesn’t mean you have to become that ‘bitch’. For the record, bitch is not the new black. Bitch can come in all genders & races. Don’t let some bitter black chick, throw that label on you and make money off of it. Coming from a person who’s had her fair share of bad relationships, and who’s been called a bitch, I’ve tried over the past couple of years not to become that ‘bitch’. In the words of Queen Latifah, “Who you callin’ a bitch?”.
Lastly, if you must read a book about relationships between black men & women, please read Hill Harper’s book, “The Conversation: How Black Men & Women Can Build Loving Relationships”, and use Steve Harvey’s & Helena Andrews’ books for more suitable things, like kindling for a fireplace.