As we all know, not all asses are created equal. There are saggy asses, flat asses, cellulite asses,
Montana Fishburne blemished asses and fat asses. Hell, not to toot my own horn, but I think I have a pretty ample ass, but I guess not everyone can be blessed in that area. It’s a give & take sometimes with women. Some women have ample breasts, no ass, others have all the ass in the world, no breasts, and then you have the ones who have equal amounts of both.
Nowadays, faking it seems to be the way to go. Years ago everyone was enamoured with Jennifer Lopez’s, “Jenny From The Block Ass”, which wasn’t anything uncommon if you were to walk down any Bronx neighborhood. Jennifer Lopez was/is not the only Puerto Rican to have an ass. Most recently, over the years, Kim Kardashian’s
passed around the NFL league ass has garnered major attention. Chances are, if you’re a black woman, you probably wondered what the big deal was. Hell, I wondered what the big deal was. Now there’s Nikki Minaj’s silicone ass. Ok, fine, no one is sure that’s silicone, but once again, what is the big deal?
With asses being pushed to the forefront, of course companies are trying to make a profit off of those who lack ass.
First there was Booty Pop, the silicone ass enhancement pads that took to the infomercial airwaves last year. Not only is the name of the product ridiculous, so were the commercials. For some reason, every time I heard “booty pop”, I thought of “corn pops”, one of my favorite cereals. Not only are there hundreds of products like Booty Pop on the market, people are actually buying them!
Not only are people buying padding and having silicone injections in their asses, there’s also a plethora of pills out there that supposedly guarantee butt growth. For example, just yesterday I saw an advertisement on a website for Dime Curves, a “herbal supplement” that supposedly will, “maximize your buttock size potential…Naturally!” Just think, for $59.95, you can get a one month supply, and quite possibly your hopes & dreams of having an ample ass will finally come true. If you believe that, I also have a piece of the Brooklyn Bridge I can sell you as well. Not only is the website cheaply built, but the before & after pictures have the horrible Photoshop jobs. The company boasts that it’s made with herbs, wild yams, diosgenin (a steroid) and natural pyto-estrogens (which are found in birth control pills). But wait, it gets better, these magical ingrediants actually KNOW to target your ass & hips and not any other part of your body! Now that’s scientific advancement and of course none of these claims are backed by the FDA.
In the quest of a fatter ass, a lot of women are not only walking around with a little extra cotton padding in their pants, but they’re willing to risk health issues by taking some bogus pill or shooting their asses with silicone. The only people profiting of the lack of ass, are the these companies that are making asses out of all of these women.
“Ass so fat, you can see it from the front”, Mos Def