Yesha Callahan

Apparently Black Women Are Not Only Single, But Also Could Use A Good Douche

I have an email address that I pretty much  never check because it seems to only receive product press releases from public relation firms. Every once in a while I’ll come across a Press Release that piques my interest, but most of the time it’s a lot of garbage. Needless to say, I received a little bit of both this morning.

Here are a few lines from the email:

I’m hoping you can share Candace’s story to help empower other African-Americans who might have an embarrassing health condition so they can seek medical attention early. Candace is still not sure what is wrong so perhaps getting this story out might help her find the solution.

Heart disease?

Diabetes?

Obesity?

Hell, I figured I would read on to see what exactly these people were referring to.

Candace wasn’t always a woman of confidence. When she used to walk into a room, people would cough or try discreetly to pinch their noses to block the odor. It was embarrassing. She visited many specialists in the hopes of finding a permanent solution to her unwanted scent. To this day, although she still hasn’t found a lasting solution, she has found confidence.

What in the holy fucking hell are these people talking about? I know I’m not sitting here reading about Candace and her funky ass vajayjay from a PR firm! The email goes on to explain this contraption that  essentially looks like a douche bag that you hang from your shower head, it fills with water and you insert some metal looking nozzle of a contraption into your love below, and basically “there she blows”, water up your vajayjay. All for just $69.90.

Well apparently Candance’s use of the contraption worked so well, they left me with this tidbit of information:

Today, Candace is happily married to a man who loves her for who she is, and she is studying to become a nurse.

So women, if you have that “not so fresh feeling”, and when people walk pass you they start to sing, “Hey Little Momma, Why you smell so funky…”, you may consider investing your $69.90 for the hang-able douching system. Who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky like Candace and find a man to marry you in the end.

  1. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    *Dead* *dead* *Dead*
    did i mention
    *DEAD*!

  2. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    I am astounded. I thought the Body Snake was something… but *this*? That’s something…

  3. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    This cannot be life, I just refuse to believe it….
    The last time I checked soap and water was cheaper than $70. Even “traditional” douches are $1 at the dollar store. I just can’t with this **SMH**

    • July 13, 2010 - Reply

      @funkystarkitty50

      and hell..copays to the gyn. are cheaper also!

  4. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    I hope they make something like this for us funky men who sometimes don’t feel fresh after a pickup game of basketball or a morning quickie. It could be of use. On second guess I’ll stick with Axe shower gel. Thanks anyway! lol

    • July 13, 2010 - Reply

      @Muhammad the Harlem Sk8rboi

      LOL! well upon further research..i found anal douches…uh..nevermind.

  5. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    Douching is actually harmful, it flushes away the good bacteria that are essential for vaginal health. The tissues of the vulva shouldn’t be soaped either, soap + mucous membranes = irritation and irritation can lead to an infection. If you can’t maintain a normal aroma with regular bathing and water rinsing, you need to see a doctor, not buy ridiculous contraptions or put irritants in your tender lady parts!

    • July 13, 2010 - Reply

      @Amadi

      yup that’s what I was attempting to explain to Lola ^ a few comments up.

  6. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
    I saw the infomercial for this and couldn’t stop laughing. This is a mess.

    • July 13, 2010 - Reply

      @Alicia

      yesterday was my first time hearing about this! so there are infomercials?? wtfh? do they come on right after that machine that cooks food under 5 min? lol

  7. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    *fits of laughter*
    ROTFLMAO…I can’t with this…I simply cannot…

  8. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    If this takes off like snugglies did . . .

  9. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    This is purely a travesty. Speechless. First of all if her stuff has a strong odor, she has an STD. “Smells” like vaginitis. I cannot imagine a life where my “personal scent” would be perceivable to people as I walked by. Normal vaginas do not smell offensive. Sick ones do. Get thee to a doctor not a harmful douche. And THEN they’re targeting African-American women? Seriously? Seriously? As if African-American women have this “special” problem. Oh hell-to-the-naw, such strong, offensive odors usually correlate with some condition a health professional should examine. Apoplectic…

    • July 13, 2010 - Reply

      @Tessism

      lmao @ vaginitis & sick ones!

    • July 27, 2010 - Reply

      @Tessism

      Vaginitis is actually not an STD. It caused when the vagina’s natural balance of bacteria is out of balance. There are several things that can cause this imbalance, and douching is one of the main ones.

      • July 28, 2010 - Reply

        @Kyra

        I stand corrected. I was thinking of bacterial vaginosis.

  10. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    umm. wow.
    and there is an INFOMERCIAL for it? that is must-see t.v.

    • July 13, 2010 - Reply

      @invisiblewoman

      you should take a look at the website, it’s pretty comical.

  11. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    Yeah, I caught this infomercial too. I felt really sorry for the women in the “testimonials”. Hell, I feel sorry for ANY woman who thinks her natural smell is bad. Unless, of course, it is off the chain, then she needs to use that $69.99 to see a gyno!
    OK so this shower/douche is bad…what do yall feel about bidets? Are they wrong too??
    @Muhammad
    “…us funky men who sometimes don’t feel fresh after a pickup game of basketball or a morning quickie”
    Youre TOO funny!

    • July 13, 2010 - Reply

      @lola gets

      I’ve never used a bidet before. But supposedly douching often removes the bodies inability to protect itself from bacteria…but i’m not a dr..lol

      • July 14, 2010 - Reply

        @[flahy][blak][chik]

        I love bidets!! There are many in French bathrooms. That is where i discovered it. Still, **SMH** at these testimonies.

  12. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    the levels of wrongness.
    1. african american problem? im sure other minorities (not many) benefited from a fill in the blank at that point.
    2. Does it double as a vibrator?
    3. finding a man is the end all?
    4. ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    speechless

    • July 13, 2010 - Reply

      @pam

      yes i must have missed the cnn special about the plight of black woman’s private area & it’s smell..lol

  13. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    Ummmm…this reminds me of a Mad TV skit. Do we really need a 5 minute testimonial about how WW saved “Kenisha’s” life? Lawd! I can’t today…

    • July 13, 2010 - Reply

      @Melzie

      Kenisha need a dr. not some damn h2o

  14. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    Funky funky, yeah that’s mr. I’m douching funky to the beat.

  15. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    This is absolutely horrendous! The fact that this company (I refuse to give it anymore pub) thinks….wait, I know at least two people that might could use one of these! SMH…never mind, carry on!

    • July 13, 2010 - Reply

      @Sabrina

      girl, i know a few as well..well not personally, but i’ve walked into a few stinky dressing rooms.

  16. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    WTH, this would be hilarious to see if I were drunk.
    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

    • July 13, 2010 - Reply

      @Tiffany

      LMAO!!

  17. July 12, 2010 - Reply

    *for everyone’s reading enjoyment, the full letter”
    Hi Ms.,
    I’m hoping you can share Candace’s story to help empower other African-Americans who might have an embarrassing health condition so they can seek medical attention early. Candace is still not sure what is wrong so perhaps getting this story out might help her find the solution.
    Candace wasn’t always a woman of confidence. When she used to walk into a room, people would cough or try discreetly to pinch their noses to block the odor. It was embarrassing. She visited many specialists in the hopes of finding a permanent solution to her unwanted scent. To this day, although she still hasn’t found a lasting solution, she has found confidence.
    Some of her doctors were able to prescribe temporary solutions. Candace even built a relationship with Chun Lim Abbott, the CEO of Abbott Research Group, Inc., through their product WaterWorks, a feminine cleansing device (http://waterworkshealth.com/). She uses WaterWorks daily as a safe douching alternative that harnesses the cleansing power of ordinary tap water and medical-grade stainless steel to help her feel fresh. After using WaterWorks for a month, she contacted Chun Lim to thank her for creating a product to help her feel more confident and clean.
    What Candace wants is to share her journey to her current state of mind. She wants to empower women to talk to their doctors about their health no matter how uncomfortable the topic. She feels that, if she had been more open with her doctors earlier, they may have been able to have find an eternally lasting solution to her odor problem. Women in media and society are constantly looking for stories of empowerment; Candace would be a great advocate and representative of that. She wants all women to feel comfortable in their own skin.
    Today, Candace is happily married to a man who loves her for who she is, and she is studying to become a nurse.
    Please feel free to contact me to set up a phone or an e-mail interview. Hopefully this story about Candace’s condition will help your readers feel okay about having discussions with their doctors.
    Kindest regards,

  18. July 13, 2010 - Reply

    Ummm did Kinisha just say that her vajay smells for weeks after her cycle?? Uhm does that mean she is funky year round? o_0)? #IfeelSomeKindaWayAboutThis

  19. July 13, 2010 - Reply

    Okay. Let me just say that- wow! I really hope Candace is getting paid EXTREMELY well.
    I am soooooo embarrassed for her!

  20. July 13, 2010 - Reply

    oooh No they didnt! I’m convince Mel Gibson is behind this media propaganda machine!

  21. July 13, 2010 - Reply

    I really don’t know how to feel about this. I. Am. Appalled.
    And then she did a video?? I just can’t.

  22. July 13, 2010 - Reply

    I. Just. Can. Not.
    WTF. they better be getting paid SO. MUCH. for this. First of all, take that money and go to a gyno. OR. Take a shower..

  23. July 13, 2010 - Reply

    Douching is harmful! I don’t know why American women fall for this BS. If a woman has a bad odor, there is nothing that a douche can fix better than a doctor can. Douching is useful only for treating certain vaginal conditions, usually with a medicated solution, or for relieving occasional discomfort. Other than that, washing regularly with a special feminine wash (or even baby soap) is enough. Removing the vagina’s natural bacterial protection only causes an increase in vaginal discharges, usually with a stingy sour odor . I wonder how many such shower heads they sold.

    • July 29, 2010 - Reply

      @alline

      This isnt a regular douche though. Did you notice it was just stainless steel and water? No chemicals. Ive read about this thing. There is like a natural reaction that happens when stainless steel and water mix and it nuetralizes odor. Its kinda cool actually. But there are no chemicals

      • July 29, 2010 - Reply

        @sofia

        I hope you get paid well to troll blogs to comment on negative posts about your over priced bullshittery!

  24. July 13, 2010 - Reply

    how in the world does a woman speak for 5 minutes about her funky va-jay-jay??? I mean, in 5 minutes she could have pulled out a phone book, found a GYN and set up an appointment…. considering thats what she actually needed anyway. this is hilarious

    • July 14, 2010 - Reply

      @mz.jonezy

      Doesn’t she know it’s fermenting semen that’s smelling, not her vagina? “After intercourse…”. DUH.

      • July 14, 2010 - Reply

        @Kan

        ..and this is when i’ve fallen over in laughter…lol

  25. July 14, 2010 - Reply

    What is the difference between this and the good old not water bottle for about $15?

    • July 14, 2010 - Reply

      @Tonia

      I mean hot water bottle, folks

  26. July 14, 2010 - Reply

    Get thee to an OBGYN. Stat! A daily douche isn’t the solution for this 5-minute explanation of these rare vaginal “issues.”
    You pay for health care in the US, correct? I’d imagine that a typical visit to an OBGYN (which should be done yearly) isn’t much more expensive than this sketchy product.
    Just. Wow.

    • July 21, 2010 - Reply

      @merck

      i’m pretty sure a visit is even cheaper…even if it’s 2xs a year!

  27. July 16, 2010 - Reply

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  30. July 17, 2010 - Reply

    This B!#@# needed a job!…..
    “Ikept my legs crossed to keep the order close to me”. What tha hell?………………

    • July 21, 2010 - Reply

      @SupernoVa

      lol!!

  31. July 27, 2010 - Reply

    This just HAS 2 b some kind of sick joke right? Even as a man i know that problem can be solved with a professional consultation. In plain Kool Moe Dee english—go see the doctor.

  32. July 31, 2010 - Reply

    The life of the party now, huh? Could that be what got you into this funky mess to begin with? SMH

  33. August 25, 2010 - Reply

    Dear Kenisha,
    Far be it for me to snatch a bitch’s yaki while she’s hustling through this recession, but you have officially embarrassed me as a black woman. If you have a “strong odor” that’s putting Popeye to shame, you need a doctor, not anything as tepid as water. This is something you need to keep to your damn self. I can’t. I’ve never heard anyone talk this much about a douche, EVER. Also, if your friends consider friendship having the dumbest bitch irrigate her coochie while they crack sunflower seeds on the sidelines, you need new friends. They don’t care about you at all. I hate you, and everything you stand for. Everybody in your house, and all of your hair care products. Ugh! f you are throughly funkified to THAT extent, I mean where it’s causing you to develop anti social tendencies, you need to see a doctor. You have moved beyond “A swish and rinse, and I’m all clean” phase of vaginal odor. You need medical assistance. Any problem you have had for 10 years, an ENTIRE decade, cannot be cured with just water. No, shenanigans, I call shenanigans. Also, I cannot be your friend for that long and it smells like you have disturbed an ancient Indian burial ground in your underpants. None of her friends really like her, that’s some bullshit. I would have said something, and I would hope my friends would tell me if I ever come up smelling like low tide. In conclusion, if you smell like heffalumps and woozles have crawled into your uterus and gone on to glory, Go to the damn doctor!

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