Yesha Callahan

A Bad Date Story

 

This morning on my drive into work I was listening to The Russ Parr Morning Show. The subject of one of their segments was bad date scenarios. Russ told a story about a date he had while attending college. He saved up (well stole, but he didnt’ say from where) some money to take the woman out to a nice steak house. He described his date as being very pretty and she had extremely long fingernails. He said the date was going fine, until the woman took her long pinky nail, scooped up some mash potatoes and sucked them out of her nail. Needless to say, he thought it was the nastiest thing anyone has ever done while having dinner.

Thankfully, I haven’t had too many bad dates during my dating career.  But one does stand out in particular. When I first moved to the Maryland area, I didn’t know too many people, so I relied alot upon friend to introduce me to other people. At the time she was dating a radio personality in the area so just about every weekend we would hang out at what ever party he was hosting. During one of our weekends out, my friend’s boyfriend decided to introduce me to his friend. For a couple of weekends the four of us would always hang out. Eventually the guy asked if I wanted to break away from the group and go out on a date. At first I was hesitant because I wasn’t actually attracted to him, but I figured there was nothing wrong with being social.

On the night of the date, I met him at the restaurant where we had reservations. The conversation we were having while waiting for the food was going well. At this point, I figured if anything I’ve made a new friend. The waiter finally brings us our food and we began to eat. All of a sudden I heard a whoopee cushion sound. I thought to myself, “I know this negro didn’t sit here and pass gas”. I didn’t say anything at first, but then it happened again. This mf’er was sitting at this restaurant passing gas! It wasn’t silent ones, these were loud, bubbly farts! I dropped my fork out of my hand and looked at him like he was crazy. I asked him did he not know where the bathroom was? Was he not taught manners? This man had the nerve to laugh it off! Let me not forget to describe the smell. It was smelled like sauerkraut that was left sitting out overnight. What pissed me off even more was that he thought this was completely acceptable.  Yes, passing gas is a natural bodily function, and yes, I can understand if you’re at your house, but not in a restaurant while having dinner.

Eventually the date was over, he walked me to the car and we gave each other a simple hug. The first person I called when I got into my car was my girlfriend. I told her what happened and she couldn’t believe it. Eventually the four of us ended up hanging out again, but never again, did we go out on a date separately. So, like I said up top, I’m fortunate enough not to have had too many bad dates, just several bad relationships (lol).

I know I’m not the only one with a story to tell! Do you have a bad date story? Do tell!

  1. October 28, 2008 - Reply

    HA!
    I’m going to have to come back on that one! I’m drawing a blank right now *fingers crossed*! lol

    • October 29, 2008 - Reply

      @Boogie

      You’re no fun! LOL!

  2. October 29, 2008 - Reply

    Ok…
    Bad date #1: Chick brings her kid with her
    Bad date #2: I get pulled over and arrested for a warrant that was about 7 yrs old, for parking tickets.
    Bad date #3: Chick has an allergic reaction to whatever we were eating and we send the rest of the date in the ER.
    I have about 20 more….!

  3. October 29, 2008 - Reply

    I MET A GUY AT THE GROCERY STORE. REALLY WASNT MY TYPE, BUT I TRIED TO GIVE IT A CHANCE. I TOLD MYSELF THAT I SHOULD START DATING GUYS THAT I FEEL ARENT ON MY LEVEL. SO WE TALKED AND MADE A DATE TO GO TO THE MOVIES. HE PICKS ME UP IN A HOOPTIE, A REAL ONE, EVEN THOUGH I TRY NOT TO BE STUCK UP, BUT MY OUTFIT WAS PROBABLY WORTH MORE THAN THE BLUE BOOK VALUE. SO WE ARE RIDING ON THE WAY AND WE GET TO A SIGNAL RED LIGHT. THEN CLUNK CLUNK THE ENGINE DIED , AND FROM THE LOOK ON HIS FACE I THINK HE DID TOO! SO WE ARE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF TRAFFIC, CARS ARE BLASTING THEIR HORN PEOPLE ARE DRIVING BY STARING. SO HE JUMPS OUT TO PUSH IT AND YELLS AT ME TO HELP DRIVE IT. THEN WHEN I WOULDNT BUDGE HE YELLED AT ME TO JUMP OUT AND PUSH…UM NO!. LUCKILY SOMEONE HELPED US GET TO TACO BELL PARKING LOT. SO WHILE HE WAS ON THE CELLY TRYING TO FIND US ANOTHER RIDE TO THE MOVIES, I WAS CALLING MY SISTER GETTING MY RIDE HOME. THEN HE SAYS UM MY FRIEND SHOULD BE HERE IN LIKE AN HOUR…WELL THERE IS MY SISTER RIGHT THERE CALL ME WHEN U GET YOUR CAR FIXED…PEACE

    • October 31, 2008 - Reply

      @flamboyantchiq

      LMAO! The same thing happened to my sister, but they were on their way back from the movies and the car broke down in the middle of WINTER. They had to sit there for about an hour in the cold waiting for a tow truck!

  4. October 30, 2008 - Reply

    OK, so I have several, but this ONE is the worst!
    First of all I don’t like blind dates, but I have this homeboy who LOVED to hook me up with any one of his boys whom he thought was “the one” for me (we’ll call him G).
    So a few years back, I meet this kat who we’ll refer to as ‘A-Dog’. We met at my G’s house for drinks one Friday night. G and his girl, me and dude and another couple. Dude was cute, clean cut, tall, dark-skinned, bald head, dressed really well and smelled DELICIOUS!! So I’m thinking maybe G’s got it right this time!
    We were both down to earth, so it was easy for us to hit it off. We didn’t go out-out immediately after meeting, we talked on the phone ALOT though. Finally when we did go out, that’s when I realized shit ain’t always what it seems. We had planned to go out to dinner and a movie and because we lived in different cities, I offered to drive up to meet him (didn’t want him coming to my spot). Where it turned ugly was when I stepped in his crib. Now I’m a neat freak and to some extent suffer from OCD when it comes to germs and cleanliness. Dude had dishes in the sink, dried up food crumbs on the stove, spots of stuff on the blinds in the kitchen where stuff has splattered on them, it smelled ‘old and musky’, the bathroom was disgusting, no decorations and no greenery in the house AT ALL! lmao!! For me (and I’m sorry if anyone thinks I’m crazy), but that was an IMMEDIATE turn off. Needless to say, I did not enjoy dinner with those images still in my head! I just wanted to go HOME!
    When I told G about it, he laughed his ass off and said I should overlook it. Sorry. I can’t. Even though it was early in the dating process, down the road I have to know that you’ll keep my shit clean when/if you come to my house and I have to be comfortable with knowing that when I leave your house, I won’t have to shake out my clothes and purse!!!!!

  5. October 31, 2008 - Reply

    Oh see, I can’t deal with a man with a nasty ass house! Thank god I choose to date the near OCD types lol

  6. November 4, 2008 - Reply

    There is one date that I do remember as being bad.
    It started out when I picked her up. She had on aqua shoes. You know … the shows they sell at walmart that you can wear into the pool. And she had socks with em too … neon blue (she was 20-21).
    Then there was ice skating because she liked ice skating. I can’t skate … so therefore I didn’t enjoy that part at all.
    Things really turned bad when we went to a restaraunt. I got a margarita … and then got a speech on the evil of drinking and how alcohol was the devil.
    On the ride home, I tell this person of my love of chopped & screwed music. A niche taste … I know … but never had I had someone turn to me and say “I think its really really stupid” about my music tastes on the first date.
    After that … I was mad I fell down on ice and wasted money on that chic. Actually getting mad just rehashing it.

  7. November 5, 2008 - Reply

    The worst I had was someone who embarassed me by complaining about everything (all quite petty) and then asking the manager if the meals were free since he had complaints. Or the guy who walked out without tipping. Those types of bitchassed things piss me off. But I blogged about my cousin dating the girl who pulled out dental floss at the table. THAT was classic. I did a whole blog dedicated to the things that women do that men are onto but I guess some uf us dont realize it. Like ordering the most expensive thing on the menu and then not liking it. My guy friend says he told a chick that they werent getting up until her ass at all of it since she felt the need to try to order the most expensive thing on the menu. My guys talk about the girls who wear what they call “prom dresses” on dates also when they clearly state that they will be dressing casual. The day that we were having this conversation i was the only female (of course I normally am) and they were talking candidly about the things that chicks do on dates and I was sooo embarassed to say the least.

  8. November 12, 2008 - Reply

    long story short. went on a date with a woman who i was told to be intelligent and in the know about worldy things. go out on the date start bring up convos about lastest things on the news etc and she was clueless. 20 mins into dinner i stood up, dropped my half of the check on the table and left.

  9. July 22, 2009 - Reply

    ahhhh LMFAO ROTFL!!! Both stories are TOO funny! I don't know what I would do in that situation. With the farting thang…. I probably would have bust out laughing and from then it would have gotten awkward. I definitely would have asked him to stop and if he didn't well… I would have threatened to leave and if he drove then I would tell him I'll wait for him outside while he finishes his meal && then he can take me home.

    I LOVE RUSS PARR IN THE MORNING! damn i really miss listening to him and alfritas in the morning. =( but lmao at his bad date story. sucking mashed potatoes out your finger. um gross.

  10. July 23, 2009 - Reply

    ahhhh LMFAO ROTFL!!! Both stories are TOO funny! I don't know what I would do in that situation. With the farting thang…. I probably would have bust out laughing and from then it would have gotten awkward. I definitely would have asked him to stop and if he didn't well… I would have threatened to leave and if he drove then I would tell him I'll wait for him outside while he finishes his meal && then he can take me home.

    I LOVE RUSS PARR IN THE MORNING! damn i really miss listening to him and alfritas in the morning. =( but lmao at his bad date story. sucking mashed potatoes out your finger. um gross.

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