This morning on my drive into work I was listening to The Russ Parr Morning Show. The subject of one of their segments was bad date scenarios. Russ told a story about a date he had while attending college. He saved up (well stole, but he didnt’ say from where) some money to take the woman out to a nice steak house. He described his date as being very pretty and she had extremely long fingernails. He said the date was going fine, until the woman took her long pinky nail, scooped up some mash potatoes and sucked them out of her nail. Needless to say, he thought it was the nastiest thing anyone has ever done while having dinner.
Thankfully, I haven’t had too many bad dates during my dating career. But one does stand out in particular. When I first moved to the Maryland area, I didn’t know too many people, so I relied alot upon friend to introduce me to other people. At the time she was dating a radio personality in the area so just about every weekend we would hang out at what ever party he was hosting. During one of our weekends out, my friend’s boyfriend decided to introduce me to his friend. For a couple of weekends the four of us would always hang out. Eventually the guy asked if I wanted to break away from the group and go out on a date. At first I was hesitant because I wasn’t actually attracted to him, but I figured there was nothing wrong with being social.
On the night of the date, I met him at the restaurant where we had reservations. The conversation we were having while waiting for the food was going well. At this point, I figured if anything I’ve made a new friend. The waiter finally brings us our food and we began to eat. All of a sudden I heard a whoopee cushion sound. I thought to myself, “I know this negro didn’t sit here and pass gas”. I didn’t say anything at first, but then it happened again. This mf’er was sitting at this restaurant passing gas! It wasn’t silent ones, these were loud, bubbly farts! I dropped my fork out of my hand and looked at him like he was crazy. I asked him did he not know where the bathroom was? Was he not taught manners? This man had the nerve to laugh it off! Let me not forget to describe the smell. It was smelled like sauerkraut that was left sitting out overnight. What pissed me off even more was that he thought this was completely acceptable. Yes, passing gas is a natural bodily function, and yes, I can understand if you’re at your house, but not in a restaurant while having dinner.
Eventually the date was over, he walked me to the car and we gave each other a simple hug. The first person I called when I got into my car was my girlfriend. I told her what happened and she couldn’t believe it. Eventually the four of us ended up hanging out again, but never again, did we go out on a date separately. So, like I said up top, I’m fortunate enough not to have had too many bad dates, just several bad relationships (lol).
I know I’m not the only one with a story to tell! Do you have a bad date story? Do tell!