Last week a long time friend/former significant other instant messaged me while I was at work. Usually we chit-chat a couple of times a week. Never anything major, just about his work/family/OkayPlayer/music..etc..etc..His birthday is coming up and I asked how he was going to celebrate it. From what he told me he didn’t have anything planned besides work. Then the subject changed. He told me that I came up in a conversation he was having with a friend of his. Knowing that we don’t have mutual friends in common, I was curious as to what this conversation could have been about.
Maybe I should have not asked, because that question opened up the flood gate of memories that I locked away. From what he told me, the conversation seemed to have been based on his past ‘experiences’ and who he would always remember and how that person (me) made him feel. Needless to say, I was caught a bit off guard & pretty much embarrassed that I was even mentioned in that conversation.
I didn’t feel the need to ask for any more elaboration, but it did get me to think about some of the men in my past, especially him. Our relationship was one of the most easy going relationships I ever had. There were never any arguments (well besides me always readjusting his driver seat when I had his car), no stress, we were both two easy going people who got along extremely well. He always cooked for me, made sure I got back & forth to work without having to deal with the NJ/NYC transit system and he was the most attentive to my physical needs.
The conversation we had the other day got me thinking (again) about the “what-ifs”. What could have happened if he didn’t relocate to South Jersey? What if I didn’t relocate to Maryland after he was back in the NYC/NJ area? What if I didn’t think the grass was greener when it came to what I had with him and what I thought I could have with someone else? Since none of those questions will ever be answered, I’m only left to reminisce.
(Happy Birthday, ESB!)