Yesha Callahan

CNN Loves Black People

CNN loves black people.

I actually think CNN loves black people more than BET & TVOne. For the past 2 years, “Black In America” has been a featured series on CNN. For the past 2 years, I’ve written about Black In America (BIA) here and here. In it’s third installment of BIA, CNN will uncover the mysteries of the “Black Church” and why Negroes go broke because of it. Well not exactly, but close enough.

Honestly growing up, I always wondered why the Pentecostal church my grandmother attended had at least three offerings a service, knowing damn well the congregation was filled with low income people. I would sit back and not want to drop my measly quarters in the tithing bucket, because I knew the pastor lived in a huge house in South Orange and we didn’t and his children probably didn’t get their clothes from a consignment shop.

Later on in my childhood we started to attend a non-denominational “mega” church and had an Italian pastor. If I remember correctly he drove a Honda Accord and not a Mercedes like the Pentecostal pastor. Our congregation was filled with all nationalities, and each of the 3 Sunday services were always packed. There were people from all walks of life, and if I had to estimate ,each service had at least 600 people. So if you did the math, 600 people tithing at 3 services each Sunday that’s a whole lot of tithes. So either way, black congregation/black pastor…white pastor/mixed congregation..someone’s getting paid.

Sure, believers believe in tithing. That’s what they do. Should they go broke doing it? No. I doubt Jesus/God/Allah/Pope John Paul 2k would want anyone to go broke. Well at least I hope that’s not the case. Hell, I haven’t tithed in well, probably since I was 12. I’ll be damned if I was giving my last few dollars to a man driving a car better than my mother. It just didn’t make cents sense. Of course it’s great that CNN chooses to highlight a pastor and his attempts to fight debt in his congregation, but does he not collect an offering or harp on the fact that people aren’t giving? Providing financial management classes just aren’t enough, convincing people to stop competing with the Joneses and Harrises isn’t enough either. If people aren’t taught fiscal responsibilities from an early age, it’s hard to change bad habits, like making sure you’re tithing every Sunday. (I’m sure my one way ticket to hell has been signed now..)

But I digress about tithing and going broke.

This is about CNN’s weird fascination with black people and the things black people do. It feels as though they make black people out to be zoo animals or some odd inhabitants of the world that must be dissected and studied.

CNN Correspondent (speaking into a mic in an urban city): Up ahead to the left of the big tree, you’ll see a black person actually working. Shhhhh…be quiet as not to disrupt this uncommon occurrence.  Wait. Did you see that? The black person breathed!  As I sneak up on him, we’ll get to see how he handles being startled. Be very very quiet.

I’d like to know how many more Black In America series will CNN pull out of their asses.

Black In America 4:  Why Do Black People Drink Kool-Aid

Black In America 5:  Why Can’t Black People Swim

Black In America 6:  Why Do Black People Eat Grits

Black In America 7:  The Kardashians and Why Black Men Love Them

Personally, I’d like to see CNN do a White In America series. Wait, never-mind, I think that’s what Fox News is for. For some reason I picture a family of white people sitting around the TV in amazement watching these BIA series.

Bobby: Daddy, wow black people are interesting

Dad: Son, yes they are a peculiar people

Bobby: Can we get one for Christmas?

Ok, so I’m being totally facetious, but you get my point. Of course no one would ask for a black person as a Christmas gift. If they watched CNN Black In America, they probably would have already learned all black people celebrate Kwanzaa (seriously, if you don’t get the sarcasm by now, your loss).

So no. I’m not going to watch CNN dissect the black church on this installment of Black In America. I dissected it at the age of 10 and decided that a Mercedes driving, three piece suit wearing pastor wasn’t getting my quarters I worked hard for, it’s just a shame others choose to go broke over a church and let CNN put their business out on the street.

  1. October 21, 2010 - Reply

    Your sarcasm rocks!

    • October 22, 2010 - Reply

      @Jason W.

      Lol! thanks!

  2. October 21, 2010 - Reply

    I would give anything to see Black In America 6, only because I hate grits

    • October 22, 2010 - Reply

      @Jocelyn

      throw some cheese & shrimps on them..you’ll change your mind!

  3. October 21, 2010 - Reply

    I wanna see, Black in America Part 8: Why black people love Chicken? Is it because it’s delicious or because they’re BLACK??

    • October 22, 2010 - Reply

      @fluckit

      That was last years show!

  4. October 21, 2010 - Reply

    The first one gave me a drop of hope that it would provide a well-rounded view of things, but I now realize that’s impossible. BIA = total blah

    • October 22, 2010 - Reply

      @Melzie

      All hope is lost! We’re aliens from another galaxy that must be dissected and researched.

  5. October 21, 2010 - Reply

    BET loves Black people? o_O
    Great read. I’m hoping that you’ll change your mind and watch the replay a little later though. If nothing but for entertainment purposes.
    Sigh. This is all Barack & Michelle’s fault.

    • October 21, 2010 - Reply

      @Kesha Monk

      Oh wait! I forgot to mention this one. Tell me that you saw this article on CNN yesterday >> http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/10/20/whooping/index.html
      It’s an article on CNN about how preacher “Whoop” (pronounced – HOOP) Is it minstrel or ministry? And get this….can white preachers “whoop” without offending us coloreds?
      Bwaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! They are fascinated with us, I tell ya! I’m enjoying myself immensely at this mess.

      • October 22, 2010 - Reply

        @Kesha Monk

        WOW! I didn’t see that! Uh…and yes…I may have to revisit the Whoop There It Is thing..

    • October 22, 2010 - Reply

      @Kesha Monk

      Well they love black people’s money. lol

  6. October 21, 2010 - Reply

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Aunt Kin-Kin 😉 and Ariel, Anomaly. Anomaly said: Passed on #BIA3 bust just read @flyblackchick's blog abt CNN's fondness for colored folks. You should check that out~> http://bit.ly/cXEVOH […]

  7. October 22, 2010 - Reply

    NO comments at this time 🙂

    • October 22, 2010 - Reply

      @Tonia

      uh..that was a comment silly! lol

  8. October 22, 2010 - Reply

    There was a time ( which has not yet passed) when I really wanted to bang Soledad 🙂
    She would definitely go for me too but we will just never cross paths 🙁
    By “bang” I mean mutually assured satisfaction of course.
    Aaaaaaanywaaaayz…Go Black people!!
    I’m waiting on the 5 part series which will undoubtably be called “How whitey and the man destroyed the ozone and kept everyone down” 😉

    • October 22, 2010 - Reply

      @Chris B

      I mean that series wouldn’t be too far from the truth..right? lol!
      Ewww and your Soledad fantasy! TMI!

  9. October 22, 2010 - Reply

    I so loved this! Didn’t watch this years Cable News Negro Lovefest last night. But I’m sure it’s gonna be in heavy rotation like The Cosby Show from here on out. Maybe I’ll catch it over the weekend. Maybe this installment would encourage black people to stay at home and watch church on TV every Sunday morning instead of attending an actual service. Hey, you’ll save more than your gas money doing that.

    • October 24, 2010 - Reply

      @RiPPa

      LOL! Hell, you can watch it on the internet

  10. October 22, 2010 - Reply

    I stopped watching that foolishness after the first installment…just stupid.

    • October 22, 2010 - Reply

      @Iesha

      Its comedy relief

  11. January 4, 2011 - Reply

    As a black man, I already understand Black In America 7. The reason why is one word. (Hint: it rhymes with “ass”, lol). I wouldn’t mind Black In America 8: why Black people eat chitlin’s. That needs some looking into.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: