Yesha Callahan

Signs You’re Dating A Hotep Brotha

One of the unexpected consequences of the Black Lives Matter movement is the rise of the Hotep brotha — you know the black power fist-pumping type pushing up on you under the guise of pushing forward the black agenda. These men claim to be woke and all about the black community, but once you peel back the layers you start to notice black power means black male power and his logic is riddled with misogyny, homophobia, and plenty of other beliefs that don’t suit black women.

A woman on Twitter named Maxine Shaw recently detailed her hilariously accurate experience dating a Hotep type — complete with comments like a black woman’s body is made for sex — but if you’re worried you’re still missing the signs, let us help you with these red flags.

  1. He calls you queen. More than likely it’s going to be “black queen” and if you don’t immediately respond favorably to that label he’s going to accuse you of being brainwashed by the white man and not knowing your true name
  2. Netflix and chill is more like documentaries and chill. You might think this brotha is running typical game when he invites you over to watch Netflix, but instead of turning on a RomCom with suggestive sex scenes, he puts on Henry Louis Gates specials or YouTube videos from Dr. Umar Johnson and quizzes you about what you learned after.
  3. His idea of a date is a protest. Coffee? Drinks? Dinner? Nope. Meet him on the steps of the court house with poster board and pen — and be prepared to get locked up if worst comes to worst.
  4. His Instagram is full of black art. You know the naked man and woman cradling a little black baby type of art.
  5. He asks can you cook. Because a woman’s place — after she gets done protesting along side him — is still in the kitchen.
  6. He’s criticized your straight hair. Nevermind you just blew out your normally natural fro, he sees straight hair and immediately assumes you’ve succumbed to Eurocentric beauty standards and gets concerned about how committed you are to the movement.
  7. He uses derogatory terms to describe homosexual men. Everyone’s equal in the fight against racism until he finds out a male protester likes men and denotes him as one of the contributors to the breakdown of the black family.
  8. Street harassment and rape aren’t a priority. He’s all over police brutality and institutional racism but when you mention cat calling and sexual assault he goes silent.
  9. He encourages you to be (extra) fruitful and multiply. Because anything else would satisfy the white man’s agenda of eliminating the black family.
  1. January 5, 2016 - Reply

    This post was sooooo necessary. Wake up the sleeping women who fall for the faux Pro-Black agenda. Funny Umar’s name came up, lol. I like his message, his imaginary school and grandiose plans are another (he talks a good one, but you do that after you have 75% of school building foundation up, not BEFORE you lay one brick), and that stripper mess (sleeping with a ratchet who has a son? He couldn’t sleep with someone with no kids? Or at least date and marry?) , smh.

    My guy is supportive of my thoughts on street harassment, whether I wear my hair, pressed, extensions or wig. He has his mom and sister, so he gets the work Black women put into styling hair. He knows the nights I didn’t come to bed cause I was doing twists extensions for hours, lol. He is aware of himself and respectful.

    Black women are not for breeding, too bad Ciara didn’t learn that cause Future has been showing out again. I digress.

    I think that “hotep” attitude is sexist, and benefits only the hotep himself, it is merely selfishness and him wanting agency over a woman. He needs to fight crime rather than yell about the White man. Blacks are attacked from many angles and colors.

    • January 5, 2016 - Reply

      @TastyTaco

      Hoteps are always preoccupied with what women are doing. The resident men who are always on this site are straight up hoteps.

      Hoteps are not making safe neighborhoods for women (who should be wives) and children (who should be under a man’s protection). They are predators.

      • January 5, 2016 - Reply

        @BillipPhailey

        Except for truth, truth is better than that hotep nonsense.

        • January 5, 2016 - Reply

          @Jo 'Mama' Besser

          Brother Truthseeker is the Truth, gotta represent him on that one for real.

          • January 6, 2016 - Reply

            @eLLe D.

            You have shown the truth too Sister elle D.

            • January 6, 2016 - Reply

              @truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

              Thank you T.

              • January 6, 2016 - Reply

                @eLLe D.

                You’re Welcome Sister. Have a Great Day. I’ll be back in a few hours.

        • January 6, 2016 - Reply

          @Jo 'Mama' Besser

          Thank you Sister. We reject nonsense and we believe in progressive insights plus justice.

    • January 5, 2016 - Reply

      @TastyTaco

      Great points.

  2. January 5, 2016 - Reply

    I’m convinced that these type of men hate women.

  3. January 5, 2016 - Reply

    What is up with the Netflix thing? Like seriously, I went on a date with a guy and it ended as soon as he flipped on a Netflix documentary. Honestly, I should have ended it when he suggested that we go back to his apartment to watch a movie, but I had a nice time at dinner and fell for the foolishness. Anyway, I said that I wasn’t feeling well and left.

  4. January 5, 2016 - Reply

    Interesting term……can someone explain the etymology ?

    • January 5, 2016 - Reply

      @chivalrous1won

      Hotep is an ancient Egyptian word that means peace. Mens rights activists who look toward the past often include ancient symbolism in their vocabulary. For some white hoteps the word is hailsa (Viking word that basically means the same thing).

      • January 5, 2016 - Reply

        @Myra Esoteric

        *dead* at white hoteps. There should be a convention.

        • January 5, 2016 - Reply

          @BillipPhailey

          To find these guys just google Asatru and Viking metal. Norse paganism and Five Percenters are two sides of the same black and white cookie.

          If white boys are bored they can aspire to be White Iverson instead… not a hotep…..

          This is what happens in a crappy economy. Manchildren are unemployed, blame The Other Group for Bad Stuff, and LARP (role playing, playing dress up) and call it political action. But LARPing Roots isn’t any more intellectual than playing D&D. Lol

          • January 5, 2016 - Reply

            @Myra Esoteric

            You brought LARP into this *wheeze*

            • January 5, 2016 - Reply

              @BillipPhailey

              Being a Hotep is D&D Egyptian Module.

              • January 5, 2016 - Reply

                @Myra Esoteric

                LARPING live action role play googled it.

        • January 5, 2016 - Reply

          @BillipPhailey

          There is, it’s currently being held on the entirety of the planet.

          • January 5, 2016 - Reply

            @Jo 'Mama' Besser

            lol! Don’t want to encourage them.

  5. January 5, 2016 - Reply

    I dated a hotep dude back in the day ( damn he was fine, staci focus) anywho I thought he was great until I was looking through some photos and noticed that all of his ex’s were light skinned or biracial and I asked why and he said that he liked a woman’s features and you can see light skinned women’s features better… and I was like negro please. but yeah he called me his wife ( because he didn’t believe in girlfriends or the government so he also didn’t believe in legal marriage- its a sham he says.. only the most high can ordain our marriage) and He would constantly criticize the cloths I wore, the way I wore my headwraps.. Finally I realized that there wasn’t that much fineness in the world and I was done.

    • January 5, 2016 - Reply

      @Staci Elle

      “you can see light skinned women’s features better”… LOL. Really Negro? Please. LOL.

      • January 5, 2016 - Reply

        @ReallyReal

        That’s a new one. The one I hear most where I live is the tired old, ‘I’m sticking it to the white man by dating his daughter’. But those are always the same types of guys who will say that a black woman is dating the slave master if she dates a white guy.

        • February 6, 2016 - Reply

          @Jo 'Mama' Besser

          I have heard that one before! Lol! “Their features match bones better”

          • February 6, 2016 - Reply

            @CayaK

            These brainpan-busted cockroach abortion reasoning abilities are an abomination and I think we should all warn our various youth groups about this chicanery.

      • January 5, 2016 - Reply

        @ReallyReal

        Yeah i thought it was lame as hell too especially since he is a deep dark chocolate dude.

    • January 5, 2016 - Reply

      @Staci Elle

      Clearly the boy is not of the complexion that allows him to see the shame written all over his face. Probably because it’s too ashy.

      • January 5, 2016 - Reply

        @Jo 'Mama' Besser

        Lmao!

      • January 5, 2016 - Reply

        @Jo 'Mama' Besser

        lol

    • January 6, 2016 - Reply

      @Staci Elle

      Ha ha ha….you know the old saying ‘the blacker the talk, the whiter the woman’.

      • January 6, 2016 - Reply

        @lis

        Damn never heard that, kinda makes me sad.

        • January 7, 2016 - Reply

          @Staci Elle

          Yup.

    • January 7, 2016 - Reply

      @Staci Elle

      y’all are funny!

  6. January 5, 2016 - Reply

    LOL @Hotep brothers. This was hilarious.

  7. January 5, 2016 - Reply

    Hotep=fake deep way of policing black women while pretending to care

    • January 5, 2016 - Reply

      @blogdiz

      Yes, just sexists in progressive’s clothing.

  8. January 5, 2016 - Reply

    One hotep I knew had a girlfriend who was a stripper. She looked like Nicki Minaj. Another hotep I knew had a best friend who I could have sworn was on the DL. Another one lived with his mother on her dime. Another one lived off of many sisters who all thought he was ‘their’ man alone. I have never dated a hotep brother though I must confess that some are very serious about their education, providing for their family etc. But in almost all, I have found severe misogyny.

  9. January 5, 2016 - Reply

    These men are everywhere and to think dating as a black women is hard enough, then you go add these deluded men who have never found sense yet and still are looking for it. I dated one of these fools and I made the mistake of letting my parents meet him, he was the first boyfriend I thought was worthy enough to meet them. He started with his hotep fuckery and my dad at the time had his share of lived experiences of racism so was bitter towards certain people (mostly whites). However my dad could not even believe the nonsense spewing out his mouth. This is when I realised what a nut job this guy was,I knew he was woke but not that woke he would talk about how he had to suffer with being black and how our generation has to work harder than the last -_-. He then started talking about a women’s place, which was when his fuckery came to a halt. I tell you mother dearest got up silently and removed him from the table and my dad was already opening the door. He was looking at me and all I said was “bye” and then my parents waved at him and slammed the door. We laughed and mocked him and well as for him, he wanted to make things work but I was like no, I can’t change your mindset only you can. To me these men are just as bad as the men who have self-hate issues.

    • January 5, 2016 - Reply

      @mywordsaremypower

      This is a good one. Blessings girl.ROFL

      • January 6, 2016 - Reply

        @Habari Gani, America

        This is the best story I have to date when my parents worked in unison, it felt like it could be sitcom. So thank you and blessings back to you 🙂

  10. January 5, 2016 - Reply

    Sounds like these so called hoteps are pretty trifling.

  11. January 5, 2016 - Reply

    This hotep brother stuff is so funny and so interesting. I’ve never dated any myself, thank goodness, but I’ve heard of and run across many. The ones I’ve met were a piece of work. I’m glad folks have a name for these clowns and are starting to call them out.

  12. January 5, 2016 - Reply

    This is an important that people should read. Dating stories, such as the one described in this story (which involved a male using sexist views, etc.), have existed all across the nation. In life, equality is important. Equality is not just a principle that we believe in and fight for. It’s the universal value that refutes misogyny and any form of bigotry in the world. We are strengthened collectively when women have true liberation. Any male that uses psuedo-conscience nonsense as a tactic in trying to control women for exploitation and the promotion of a reactionary, misogynistic, and anti-freedom agenda (which ignores economic inequality, the problem of misogynoir, etc.) lacks consciousness in essence. Black women have every right to control their own bodies and to enact their own choices in their lives without control and without oppression from anyone. We don’t need the repression of the human rights of black women or any black person. We need honesty, justice, and tranquility. When we defend the poor, stand up for what is right, and adhere to the liberation of those of Black African descent, then we make our ancestors proud.

    So, those “Hotep” individuals (who have a hated of women, especially women who disagree with them) just exploit women for their own nefarious agenda. Also, it is important to give credit to the real African scholars and heroes who stood up against European imperialism and injustice from Sister Miraim Makeba, Sister Lillian Ngoyi, and to Brother Steve Biko. Their legacies are glorious and eternal. Relationships should be voluntary without coercion. Relationships are based on mutual love not manipulation. We reject mistreating and hating others unjustly. We want freedom and that freedom can only be complete when black women have total liberation. In that sense, justice can exist for all irrespective of their sex or color. Black liberation is the goal that we adhere to. This liberation deals with tolerance, compassion, wisdom, gender equality, and black women having their human autonomy respected period.

  13. January 5, 2016 - Reply

    This whole thread reminds me of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air episode “the Ethnic Tip” when Aunt Viv read Will for filth with the Hotep/faux Pro Black tip, she basically stated that “You can read the books, you can wear the t-shirts, you can hang the posters on the wall, and you can shout the slogans but unless you know all the history behind it you are trivializing the entire struggle…” and it seems like this guy is doing this to hit on women. The guy she encountered sounded foolish and I would have not walked but ran in the opposite direction. Too many people think if you spit out buzz words, look a certain way, or think they know a little something in terms of which books to read and what documentaries to watch then they are so Pro-Black and an expert on the subject then that means they should teach you when they barely have the full education and knowledge themselves.

    • January 5, 2016 - Reply

      @binks

      The story also reminds me of Oswald Bates from In Living Color. Many of these “Hotep” types act like the character literally.

      • January 5, 2016 - Reply

        @truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

        LOL!

        • January 5, 2016 - Reply

          @eLLe D.

          Those phony “Hotep” folks do act just like the Oswald Bates character. LOL.

          • January 5, 2016 - Reply

            @truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

            I got the picture in my mind immediately as I was reading the tweets

            • January 5, 2016 - Reply

              @eLLe D.

              Me too.

      • January 5, 2016 - Reply

        @truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

        Damon caught heat for that character. He was lampooning the 5 percenters up in Harlem.

        • January 5, 2016 - Reply

          @Chazz A

          Yes, you’re right.

  14. January 5, 2016 - Reply

    Boooo yaahhhh! Best article I have read all day. At 58, I thought I had heard the last of the (side-eye) rapey, slobbering letch’s monologues… but the social media boom and a twist of fake hotep made me sit down one day with three cups of coffee and read. I thought one brother was cray cray until his buddies jumped on and I realized they were serious. If there is a threat to the Black family, it can definitely be found in these out-of-place brothers. God help the young women looking for husbands in this brew. Nasty,,,, just plain nasty.

  15. January 5, 2016 - Reply

    LOL at these bitter fake feminist

  16. January 5, 2016 - Reply

    Funny article and funny comments too.
    I think a lot of these young brothers are lost within themselves and use the Hotep label as a defense mechanism, so to speak. In a way they remind me of the five percent nation brothers back in the 70s and 80s, which splintered from the NOI.
    The main difference is that the five percenters were calling themselves Gods, although many of them had criminal convictions. The main similarities between the groups are, extreme chauvinism, misogyny and a strange obsession with telling black women how to act, how to dress, how to speak, etc..
    This is divisive behavior and destructive to the black family unit.
    A young Hotep brother, late 20s, was attempting to school us older cats at the Barber shop last weekend. He was speaking about the Hotep Twitter and how they are going to wake up black men and other random nonsense. At the same time he criticized black women, even his own sister, labeling them with the usual, demeaning slang. I’ve seen this type negativity many times on black forums and I think it is unnecessary. Infighting, complexion-ism and self hate are three major obstacles we must overcome collectively, as a people.

    • January 6, 2016 - Reply

      @Chazz A

      I agree. That is exactly who they remind me of or seemed to have devolved from- the five percenters. Brother Chazz you drop great jewels as well.

      • January 6, 2016 - Reply

        @eLLe D.

        Five Percenters so that’s what that crazy stuff is I see posted. It makes my eyes glaze over i can’t read the postings it’s so crazy.

        • January 6, 2016 - Reply

          @Mary Burrell

          I know. We cannot afford this type of division and half-assed “information.”

      • January 6, 2016 - Reply

        @eLLe D.

        Yes eLLe D, you as well as a few other’s on this forum are focused on the empowerment of our people and sharing knowledge.

        Keep dropping jewels sister!

        • January 6, 2016 - Reply

          @Chazz A

          Thank you Chazz.

    • January 6, 2016 - Reply

      @Chazz A

      I see a lot of strange rhetoric on some of these social media sites intended for the black community and it just makes me want to scream the ignorance is just mind boggling. We don’t need any confusion and bad information spreading among our people. Thanks for clarifying what this five percenter nonsense is about. A lot of the stuff I see on Google Plus from some of those moderators. Those black folks seem to be out of their rabbit ass minds.

      • January 6, 2016 - Reply

        @Mary Burrell

        You’re right, we have enough bad info and biased propaganda coming from mass media. The Hotep nonsense and all of the other clique-ish labels are counter productive, in my opinion.

    • January 6, 2016 - Reply

      @Chazz A

      And that crazy stuff where they call themselves Gods. I can’t with that.

  17. January 7, 2016 - Reply

    This article reminds me of some of the pages I read on fb. One guy posted his belief in polygamy, with a picture of a dreadlocked dude with his arms around two naked black women with each of his hands on one of their t***ys. The black women dragged him to Africa and back in the comments and it was hilarious. I see it as another ploy to get into women’s panties. It’s funny but pathetic at the same time.

  18. February 6, 2016 - Reply

    lol

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