Yesha Callahan

Have You Read The 10 Commandments For Not Being A Fuckboy? They’re Genius

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There’s no worse type of man, sorry boy, than a fuckboy, and finally someone has put together a list of rules for our fellow mankind to halt the growing population of said individuals at a reading comprehension level even an eighth-grader could understand.

God bless this man.

In a post on the Medium boldly titled “Don’t be a Fuckboy –don’t, just don’t…” is a list of Ten Whack Commandments written by Joel Leon essentially geared at keeping the opposite sex from having sucker attacks every time their affections aren’t reciprocated and providing evidence for the general premise that chivalry is dead. The commandments are as follows:

I.

If you’re a good guy, you don’t gotta keep saying you’re a good guy. In fact, just stop saying who and what you are and:

A. Let others do that for you and —

B. Just do the things that SHOW who you are. Normally, it’s the dude puffing his chest out in the quest to be the all mighty alpha, that has the least valuable thing to add to the conversation.

Also, just shut the fuck up more often. Period.

II.

If she turns you down, walk away, holmes. Like, really. Do some yoga, contemplate life, jog around the block, call ya’ moms…

Whatever.

But, whatever you do, leave her the fuck alone, bruh.

III.

Give up ya’ seat, fam. On the bus, On the train. Like, I get it. You had a hard day, too. You was at ya’ desk flirting with ya’ work wife, or you was standing up all day at the construction site working for The Man. I feel you. But, she had to go through shit you can’t even fathom. Plus, its just a nice fucking thing to do. It ain’t that serious.

You can sit yo’ ass down when you get home. I know you got a couch at the crib, shun.

IV.

Be honest. Like, I done had some very fuckboy moments. I’ve lied, I’ve cheated, made promises I ain’t keep, ran from situations with no real explanation as to why.

All you got is ya’ word. Stand by it.
Stand behind it. if you are honest FROM THE JUMP, it just saves you a whole lotta trouble. Someone may still get hurt or even hate your existence, but hey, at least you can say you were upfront. Intentions are everything. EVERYTHING. Be aware of yours. Be honest with the people in your life, But most importantly, be yourself.

V.

Stop trying to police feelings, hair, body parts, clothing…

JUST STOP!

Yes, we live in a free society, with free will. Deal. People will do and/or say what they want, how they want, and when they wanna do it.

Yes, you can have an opinion. but said opinion does not have to be demeaning or offensive. She’s breastfeeding in public? That bothers you? You saying anything gonna make her say, “You know what, lemme stop doing this natural thing with my natural body that yo’ natural ass momma did for you when you was a little ass person?”

Nah. So stop.

She’s twerking? Bet ya’ moms woulda twerked for MLK if he came down 138th and the Grand Concourse.
Check why YOU’RE offended, homie.

Check out the other half of the list on the Medium which includes the ever-so-necessary directive: Do not send unrequested dick pics. Again we say God bless this man.

  1. September 2, 2015 - Reply

    So… who’s posting this on all the urinal walls so dudes everywhere can take in some light reading before finishing their day on the wrong side of these commandments? I wanna see flyers printed up like they did for the end of the Mayan calendar. Put this everywhere. Please.

    • September 2, 2015 - Reply

      @Me

      Preach

  2. September 2, 2015 - Reply

    A lot of the words in these commandments are common sense. Life is made up of a short period of time for humanity. Not everything will be peaches and cream, so that is why people have to move forward and use positive actions as a means for human beings to do better. Also, we have a long way to go in seeing a society where we have true tranquility and justice. Therefore, we can’t sleep and we won’t stop.

    • September 2, 2015 - Reply

      @truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

      Whenever I see the words common sense, it makes me think of how much we take for granted and how far behind you can become if you don’t make an effort to keep up with the times. Some adults literally have to learn/relearn things that children should know.

      • September 2, 2015 - Reply

        @Me

        That’s the sad part Sister. It’s sad that many grown adults have to understand about the common sense words about respecting women, moving on from relationships that don’t work, and knowing that a Sister has the right to twerk in the privacy of her own home if she wants to twerk. That’s her business LOL. 🙂 So, human autonomy and human freedom is part and parcel of a progressive society. Wisdom, love, and human rights are gracious precepts to advance.

    • September 2, 2015 - Reply

      @truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

      Common sense is not a flower that grows in everyone’s garden .

      • September 2, 2015 - Reply

        @Mary Burrell

        How true and profound Sister.

  3. September 2, 2015 - Reply

    I read the rest of the list… On #8 “Don’t make veiled comments about hitting her. ”

    A dude had to teach me this lesson as a woman. I used to joke around w/him about “knocking him out” for little things like eating the last of my ice cream, and one day he finally told me that sometimes those jokes are only funny in my head but they sound kinda serious out loud. So since that day I just stay away from any kind of physical talk like that b/c I realize dudes wanna feel safe too.

  4. September 2, 2015 - Reply

    They are common sense things that people should know especially dudes.

    • September 2, 2015 - Reply

      @Natasha Peacock

      You would think so…but I read some of the comments in the original article and there were plenty of men that responded that make you think the world has gone mad. Dudes were saying that the author was “pandering to women” and that “all but number 8 [insert single number on the list here]” were true. There was way too much objection coming from men who supposedly should have common sense. Men have so many issues these days and they aren’t looking to be better, more compassionate, thoughtful or sincere. They just want to fight and argue you down when you call them out. Kind of how white folks are these days with racism and Black Lives Matter. The minute a woman says anything about the way we’re treated by men, we get shut down. So, there’s not much “common sense” going around at all. Just hot-headed BS…

      • September 2, 2015 - Reply

        @Qris_10

        True when someone speaks something or reveals a truth and makes you look at it if you don’t want to accept the fact that you may need to change somethings the first line of defense is deflection. To me he’s not pandering to women he’s trying to give dudes sound advice. Like the author of the piece said “check why you’re offended homie”.

        • September 2, 2015 - Reply

          @Natasha Peacock

          I agree.

      • September 2, 2015 - Reply

        @Qris_10

        My school teacher friend calls this the “defendant syndrome”. No matter what gets said, their first response is to offer a defense like they’re on trial instead of acknowledging their role in it.

      • September 2, 2015 - Reply

        @Qris_10

        I most definitely agree with you. Too many ig relationship experts are men taking advantage of women. I rarely see men checking other men. So this is delightful to read.

  5. September 2, 2015 - Reply

    Ha! Love it!

  6. September 2, 2015 - Reply

    Most of these are on point! However I don’t know about #3, I don’t care if a man doesn’t want to give up his seat for a woman. I’d do it for the disabled, pregnant or elderly, or if I see someone carrying a bunch of stuff and they look like they could use a seat…but just because I’m a woman I don’t expect a man to offer me his spot. I’m able bodied, I have legs, I’m good. For some it’s chivalry and that’s cool, to each his own. But I don’t expect it.

  7. September 2, 2015 - Reply

    Awesome post–this is a good look–needs to be shared by ALL. I will never forget going home to visit the fam…my mother and I struggling- I mean SCKRUGGLE-ING to get my big ass suitcase up her 50,000 steps. Here comes a large ass “man”–had to be 6’3, 260-300 lbs. You think he offered to assist us or did he just cram his big ass to the side of us in an attempt to get around us in an effort to get to the spot right next door to where we were going? DOWN WITH FUCK BOYS.

  8. September 2, 2015 - Reply

    true sh!t

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