Yesha Callahan

70% of Men Aged 20-34 Are Not Married

Screen Shot 2015-04-13 at 3.15.00 PMMen just aren’t the marrying type any more, and in her new book, “Marriage Matters, Janice Shaw Crouse, says that many men live in a state of “perpetual adolescence”.

According to Crouse it’s depressing that men aren’t marrying women like they did back in Laura Ingalls days. But is it really that bad?  “It’s very, very depressing,” Crouse told CNSNews.com. “They’re not understanding how important it is for the culture, for society, for the strength of the nation to have strong families.”

So just because people aren’t getting married, society is doomed? I think figuring out why divorce rates are so should take precedent over why men aren’t running to the altar.

“And I know the feminists just yell and scream if you say anything like this, but time was, girls set the cultural morays, the standards, the parameters for intimate activity. The girls were the ones that set those boundaries. And now it’s the guys who do,” Crouse told CNSNews.com.

“And it’s doubly terrible because the colleges now are predominantly female. So you have some – up to 60 percent of the student bodies are female. And almost all of them are more than 50 percent female. And so the ratio [of] male/female is out of sync.

“And that means the girls have to live by the guys’ demands. And that means less romance. They don’t date. The girls, I have talked to numerous young women, lament the fact that they don’t have the opportunity to dress up and go out for an event.”

If men don’t want to get married, let them stay single, but don’t think for one moment that marriage is the end-all-be-all.  And just because people aren’t married, doesn’t mean they’re not shacking up.

According to 2014 data from the U.S. Census Bureau, 7.9 million opposite sex couples in the U.S. live together but are not married. And let’s not mention the babies these people are having. Some people don’t feel the need to solidify their relationship with a piece of paper.

Clutchettes, what do you think about the fact that so many men aren’t getting married?

  1. April 13, 2015 - Reply

    For a man, there is no positive incentive, only negative ones to marrying in this day and age….Period.

    We’re “adolescents” since we refuse to get screwed over by the feminist system by marrying…… She gets bored, divorces you, takes the house, kids, half of what’s left for including your 401k, and you have to pay lifetime alimony and her
    attorney bills. What a deal, where do I sign.

    • April 13, 2015 - Reply

      @stewie

      I agree with some parts of your comment.

    • April 13, 2015 - Reply

      @stewie

      That is why only fools rush in.

    • April 14, 2015 - Reply

      @stewie

      Actually, married men have longer life spans than unmarried men. The opposite is true for women.

      Your gender essentialism is naive and disturbing, yet unsurprising. Furthermore, you have no understanding of family law.

      • April 14, 2015 - Reply

        @BillipPhailey

        Women stand to lose financial security after divorce because they frequently become stay-home-mothers and have to downsize, plus, that’s the only income, the outside money is needed more urgently. It’s never a safe bet to be financially dependent on an ex and in truth, since men generally make more money, you’re doubly vulnerable, especially if there’s a negative change in his income. One must take it on good faith that both parents–through stable financial contribution and responsible management–will tend to the kid’s needs adequately.

        Divorce is really hard financially for both women and men, but men do tend to fare better than women, even with child support.

        I’ve seen too many people get hitched just because it’s what you do: doesn’t go well.

        • April 14, 2015 - Reply

          @Jo 'Mama' Besser

          I was a stay-at-home mom until I turned 30 and the kids were in school.

          I don’t know of that many Black, stay-at-home moms these days. Not in my circles, at least.

          • April 14, 2015 - Reply

            @Wanda

            Frequently didn’t mean all women and all women in perpetuity, I don’t think I communicated it that way. I not saying that all women work in the home exclusively, but if one parent is going to work at home it’s still true that more often than not it will be the mother. You used yourself as an example of a woman who, for some amount of time, was a stay-at-home mother, but again, I didn’t say that it’s universal without exception. By bringing up pay disparities between men and women, mothers who work outside of the home addressed.

        • April 15, 2015 - Reply

          @Jo 'Mama' Besser

          Damn straight.

        • April 19, 2015 - Reply

          @Jo 'Mama' Besser

          Nope wrong. The study you got that idea from is based on a study by a feminist named Lenore Weitzman that wrote the current family law guidelines based on the myth that men do better and abandon children in droves. She admits she made the entire thing up to give women more leverage in family court. This is directly from the horses mouth. No way around it. Google “POST DIVORCE WEALTH GAP WAS WRONG AUTHOR AGREES”. Of what you claim is true why are men required to pay alimony for life still like its the 1950’s when you can work and 96% of alimony are paid by men? Its not worth it. Men are opting out.

          • April 20, 2015 - Reply

            @coptic777

            Someone called the MRA hitmen, Neat.

            • October 21, 2015 - Reply

              @Jo 'Mama' Besser

              Yup, women did. But they wished these “hitman” were assassinating their lonely existence towards a marital ending. Instead, they are assassinating your pretty lies.
              Enjoy your equality.

              • October 21, 2015 - Reply

                @Jesse James

                Did it take you six months to think of that?

      • April 14, 2015 - Reply

        @BillipPhailey

        If the opposite is true for women’s longevity, then why do women keep bitching about how men don’t want to get married anymore ! You should be happy about it…..And don’t women world wild live 5 years more than men ?!

        Essentialism is not naive, It is sound observable reality, everything has primacy of Essence. But it is your gender that is disturbingly parasitical.

        Fyi, I have a very good understanding of family law,( just by watching men get screwed over everyday).

      • April 19, 2015 - Reply

        @BillipPhailey

        Nope it’s not naive when men are paying alimony 96% of the time for life sometimes when you can work. Don’t want a child? You can abort no say so from the husband. You can even dump a newborn at any hospital police station etc. No questions asked. All while you scream men held to be held accountable while you can not take any yourselves. Men are opting out. Our numbers are growing. Good luck with the state .

      • August 18, 2015 - Reply

        @BillipPhailey

        You talk about the understanding of law but do not wish to understand that the outcome is still unfavorable for men

    • April 15, 2015 - Reply

      @stewie

      “…divorces you, takes the house, kids, half of what’s left for including your 401k, and you have to pay alimony, child support and her attorney bills. What a deal,…”

      Stewie,

      I too, Agree with SOME of your comment. The Woman’s Movement was designed to give “EQUALITY” to women, not to Enable women to CRUSH the SOULS of fellow human beings (Men).

      As a Woman the behavior disgusts me to the degree I stay as far away from Blood Relation, so-call “friends” and co-workers who can be nothing more than Spiritual, Mental, Emotional and FINANCIAL devastation to any man who is drawn into their TOXIC existences.

      My unsolicited advice to Women and Men: 1) Ability to be Self-Supporting and 2) Pre-nup.

      • February 10, 2016 - Reply

        @RaiseTheBar

        It’d certainly be nice if pre-nup’s actually held their weight in court, but they don’t.

    • April 15, 2015 - Reply

      @stewie

      You have to find the right person.

    • April 17, 2015 - Reply

      @stewie

      Personally, I don’t see any reason to get married unless the long term partner has a desire for marriage and/or children.

  2. April 13, 2015 - Reply

    If we want the entire human race to improve, then we have to advance policies that will promote the human dignity and the human rights of both males and females. The stats are readily known about this issue. Many men don’t get marriage for numerous reasons. Some men want independence. Some men reject the institution. Some men want a relationship excluding marriage. Some men want to be married sincerely. This issue is complex not simplistic. No one can use coercion to force people to be married. What we can do is to treat each other right. We can go out and understand that the humanity of men is just as valuable as the humanity of women. Also, there can be progressive dialogues among people of both genders, so we can understand each other better and establish policies that not only strengthen relationships (those who voluntarily are in marriages should be supported and those who voluntarily don’t want to be married ought not to be unfairly ridiculed or demonized unfairly), but to advance more human freedom.

    At the end of the day, we are all in this today.

    • April 15, 2015 - Reply

      @truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

      “What we can do is to treat each other right. We can go out and understand that the humanity of men is just as valuable as the humanity of women.”

      ! ! !

  3. April 13, 2015 - Reply

    The factors are probably more tied to economics than anything else. It is tough for college educated men to secure good paying jobs and doubly tough without a college degree. A mans financial ability is one of the biggest influencers on his marital decisions.

    • April 13, 2015 - Reply

      @Rastaman

      Agree.

    • April 15, 2015 - Reply

      @Rastaman

      I know very successful Black men who just dont enjoy being husbands.

      • April 16, 2015 - Reply

        @Love.tweet.joi

        Are these men between the ages of 20-34?
        Because 34 is usually when most men begin to hit their strides professionally. Plus I would not advise most men in that age group to get married anyways because far too often they lack maturity to undertake all that comes with marriage and family. So even if they are financially successful they should attempt to live the single life to ensure they get some of those experiences that may not always be compatible with marriage. I have 2 nephews in that age group and I make sure to encourage them everyday to learn who they are first as an independent adult before committing to marriage.

        • April 16, 2015 - Reply

          @Rastaman

          I feel like I am experiencing something totally different.
          I am one of those weird people who went through the mortgage crisis and lost a lot. So, I was much more successful at 25, than I am now. I have always dated men much older than me because the young guys weren’t very successful. Now it seems that my age bracket hasn’t changed. I am still around the same group I was dating when I was younger…except now the age gap is gone. Many of my successful male friends knew me back then, so I suppose they don’t judge me for being “that single mom” – although back in the day, I surely judged them! Now at 40, those “late bloomers” have settled their child support debt, background checks come back clean, excellent credit and careers have improved. They are all making around 80k now, vs 35k just five years ago. Oh how the tables have turned 🙂

          With that being said, we have all been through so much in relationships, that we cringe at the thought of marriage.

          • April 27, 2015 - Reply

            @Love.tweet.joi

            They sound like excellent revenue sources. Why can’t they commit?

  4. April 13, 2015 - Reply

    I was not married when I was that age either. All except for one year, I was in school or just starting my career during those years. I married in my late thirties, which means I am older than many of the parents of my kids friends. As for marriage, it is a challenge, but I love the institution. I am very happy that I have an actual wife, and not a girl friend or baby momma. I also love the fact that I am a full-time, live-in parent. I am not downing other people’s arrangements, but I love being the one who makes sure my kids go to sleep at night, and that I am also the person who wakes them up in the morning every day too.

    • April 15, 2015 - Reply

      @Anthony

      If you’ll notice, for the men who chose not to get married, it doesnt really bother them that they arent actively involved in the day to day of their childrens’ lives. Most of them couldnt even tell you what time their kids get out of school. They actually prefer not having the responsibility…which is why they chose not to marry in the first place. All adult males arent men, and all fathers arent daddies.

      • April 15, 2015 - Reply

        @Love.tweet.joi

        Let ‘s be honest lots of adult females aren’t women and all mothers aren’t good ones. It cuts both ways.

        • April 15, 2015 - Reply

          @Pema

          Yet the women are the ones with custody…hmmm

          • April 15, 2015 - Reply

            @Love.tweet.joi

            Women give birth, and possession is 9/10 of the law. The other factor is that social convention makes it much harder for women to totally duck parenting even if they aren’t into it.

            • April 16, 2015 - Reply

              @Anthony

              Well, they get the custody despite being the primary perpetrators of child abuse.

            • February 10, 2016 - Reply

              @Anthony

              Um… abortion? Why do women act like everyone else is making them do things they don’t want to do? It’s called autonomy.

      • April 15, 2015 - Reply

        @Love.tweet.joi

        I don’t want to put down all men who don’t live with their kids, but what you said is true for way too many men.

        • April 16, 2015 - Reply

          @Anthony

          Definitely not all.

  5. April 13, 2015 - Reply

    Times are different not just socially and economically but our life expectancy is always increasing. Back then it was do everything young cause you died pretty young.

  6. April 14, 2015 - Reply

    To be honest, I think we tend to be very contradictory. I remember when many of us were shouting: “Down with marriage…down with the patriarchy…down with domestic slavery!”

    So years later, the institution of opposite-sex marriage is crumbling like never before, and yet we are still not happy?

    The old saying goes: “Be careful of what you wish for, because you might get it.”

    • April 14, 2015 - Reply

      @Wanda

      Good comments “the institution of opposite-sex marriage is crumbling like never before, and yet we are still not happy?” NOT QUITE TRUE there was a recent report there have been a increase in traditional marriage in
      America but not for one group.

  7. April 14, 2015 - Reply

    This is a good and wise thing because idealy a man or a women between age in

    • April 15, 2015 - Reply

      @TheBurningBush

      Some 40 year olds arent mature enough either. These men have far too much milk available to be inclined to go “cow shopping”.

      • April 16, 2015 - Reply

        @Love.tweet.joi

        YOU ARE RIGHT LOL……BUT IT’S NOT ONLY MEN IT’S BOTH MALES AND FEMALES

    • April 15, 2015 - Reply

      @TheBurningBush

      “Quite frankly most black people between the age of 20-34 are not mature enough to be married” – What kind of people are you hanging around?

      • April 16, 2015 - Reply

        @Kai19XX

        all you got to do is just look around and see how they conduct themselves, it’s logical reason why think about it most are born into dysfunctional homes, to very young and immature parents, and poverty, with time and “want too” this can be overcome that’s why it is recommended that black people male or female to have a greater chance for success in life after high school go to college or trade school start their career, live the independent lifestyle then after maturing around the age 34 and one think they want to marry choose a mate embrace the interdependent mindset get married and have children, family etc.

  8. April 15, 2015 - Reply

    99 percent of the Black men I know couldn’t afford a family up until 40. Now at 40+, they hoppin, skippin, jumpin’ and fallin in love with the first woman who has her head on straight and a cute shape…and their biological clocks are ticking so loudly that you cant even hear actual words coming out of their mouths. Then, you have all these women who are around 30+, and already have a child by some man who promised them the world. They are scorned, cheated on and untrusting…and they are looking at the 40 year old “marryin kind” men like, “Ninja, please!”

    (Based on the experiences of my friends and I, of course.)

    • April 15, 2015 - Reply

      @Love.tweet.joi

      When I was in my early thirties, women with kids saw me as a decent catch, and they definitely made themselves available. Overall, I found myself not committing to any of them because I did not want to be bothered with all the drama connected to baby daddies. I also was not interested in playing second fiddle (rightfully, I might add,) to a child when I was in a position to make a woman my main focus.

      Once again, I am not putting down those who made different decisions, and frankly, if certain single mothers had made themselves available, I may well have committed to such a marriage.

      That said, I have a great wife, and she has given me three wonderful children, two of whom are still alive.

  9. April 15, 2015 - Reply

    I don’t think these stats are unusual. A lot of men get married in their mid – thirties and their wives are oftentimes younger. My husband was 33 when we got married.

    • April 16, 2015 - Reply

      @Pema

      I just had a thought. Perhaps the men get married in their mid-thirties and marry younger, and those of us who turn down those proposals in our 20’s miss out. I know that I wasn’t ready to get married before thirty…and I dated men that were older than I was (by a lot). Maybe that’s what happened. Hmmm…

  10. April 16, 2015 - Reply

    Marriage is slavery for a man. This is a natural outcome of the sexist divorce courts and the drudgery of modern American marriage.

  11. April 25, 2015 - Reply

    While growing up Millennials have seen the misery of Marriage, Layoffs, Foreclosure, and Divorce. They’ve seen Dad’s reputation ruined by Mom’s false abuse charge so she could easily avoid joint custody. Bright well informed young folks are making a value judgment about Marriage where previous generations just followed the herd.

  12. May 22, 2015 - Reply

    Woman doesn’t want to get married = Empowerment

    Man doesn’t want to get married = Scared little boy with commitment issues who refuses to grow up.

    Janice Shaw Crouse, with all due repect, Fvck you!

    • June 25, 2015 - Reply

      @disqus_LJj4uJgP1Y

      Their hypocrisy knows no bounds

  13. July 2, 2015 - Reply

    Why men aren’t getting married:

    The guaranteed benefits are minimal.
    The potential benefits are nebulous, subjective and few.
    The chances of getting the potential benefits are low.

    The guaranteed costs are low…
    …But the expected-to-the-point-of-being-guaranteed costs are high.
    The potential costs are astronomical and corporeal.
    The chances of suffering the potential costs are high.

    Is that easy enough for you to understand?

  14. August 11, 2015 - Reply

    like every other article i’ve seen on this topic, they all ask the wrong question. rather than asking why we aren’t getting married, they should be asking why should we get married. the risks and costs for a man to marry far outweigh the benefits (all of which can be acquired cheaper and at lower risk), so there’s no good reason for us to marry.

  15. August 18, 2015 - Reply

    Well the author says in a nice way that men are not growing up. Notice how the author not also talk about the 50% divorce rate in the US and how women initiate 80% of it. It is not discussed how rare it is to receive custody of the child and how laws such as no fault allow partners to walk out and take half of your stuff and a paycheck for life.

    I think men are being smart. Why should they marry? If feminism keeps on course with new laws that affect mainly/only men, you will see some mess like Japan and the economy will collaspe.

    Since most women will not marry a man that makes considerably less than them, part of the men are unprepared, part are wise enough to realize you can keep your money and not spend it another part find it less stressful and can find work arounds such as games and porn to bypass the male sexual and competitive drive.

  16. October 31, 2015 - Reply

    Men are in a “state of perpetual adolescence”
    Can it be that women are in a state of perpetual princess-hood
    Marriage is a financial service contract, which you will discover if ever you try to break it. Men aren’t singing up for it because way too many women have abused this contract, and men pay pay pay
    go to work ladies
    or don’t
    or like whatever

  17. December 12, 2015 - Reply

    i don’t have anything against marriage…but its just the dumbest thing a guy can do…i would never marry….as a man i have everything to lose and by everything i mean everything for the rest of your life…a woman in a no fault divorce state can cheat and get pregnant by another man and the law expects her husband to take care of the kid even after a divorce, he would lose the house, half of all of his other assets(at least), may have to pay alimony and then on top of that she can draw on your social security, and pension when you get retirement age, the judge will take her word on everything and even if you do get visitation rights she can outright ignore the court order and I ONE HUNDRED PERCENT GUARANTEE you that she will not be held in contempt oh and then you have to pay for her lawyer and all court fees…i know guys that will never financially recover from their divorces and will have to work until they aren’t physically able….on rare occasions I get a bit lonely but then i just think about my buddies or I see some guy getting screamed at by his wife/gf and i instantly snap out of it…its just not worth the risk especially when more than 50% of marriages end in divorce and its initiated 70% of the time by the woman…..i have mini relationships and when the woman wants more she knows that she will have to seek it elsewhere as I am honest with women and upfront about not wanting serious relationships but for some reason they all see me as a challenge and just can’t fathom that I can be happy without a woman and all them start off okay with hanging out and maybe eventually hooking up…but it always comes to making a commitment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: