Yesha Callahan

Pump Wars

Do you want to know what’s worst than traffic on either 495, BW Parkway or downtown DC?

Mother’efers who can’t navigate through a gas station!!! I mean, not only am I forced to pay $3.99 at the pump, I’m forced to deal with dumb asses who loose all common sense when they realize that the gas station is packed and busy.

After work today I was hot, hungry and exhausted. Even though my work day usually ends by 2:30pm, I still had an afternoon of errands to run and a my truck was running on empty. Now, by my house there are two gas stations a Chevron and a Shell. My last resort is always the Chevron because they’re more expensive than the Shell. The ‘last restort’ usually happens when the Shell is just too crowded and there are cars practically waiting online in the street.

I noticed the lines at the Shell weren’t too bad, so I made my way over to that station. Please people can someone explain to me why people seem to FORGET what side of the car their gas tank is on??? Now, I can understand if it’s a new car, that usually takes some time to get used to, and I also understand if you happen to borrow someone else’s car and you’re not to familiar with it.

What are the chances of either of those being the reason why people can’t navigate through the gas station? Hmm..I’m thinking next to none.

Today, I’m was pretty much not in the mood to deal with nonsense. My attitude, on a scale of 1-10, was at 8 1/2. Did I mention I was hungry, hot & exhausted?  So I pull up behind a white Expedition and there’s a car already in front of him, so I figured when the Expedition finishes pumping his gas, I would have to put my car in reverse so he could leave the station. I waited patiently for him to fill up his gas guzzler. As expected, once he got back into his truck, he put it in reverse to give me the heads up that he was backing out.

Not a problem.

I backed up so he could leave. Pretty simple concept, right? Right.

I pulled up to the 2nd pump, and the other man that was in front of the Expedition was now in front of me. I wasn’t worried about how I would get out of the station because I figured:

A. The man in front of me would be finished soon, or

B. If anyone drove up behind me, the would have the common courtesy to back up as well to let me out.

Another pretty simple concept, right?

Well, the gas station gods were not on my side this hot, humid afternoon.

Of course I finished pumping my gas before the guy in front of me. As I got into my car, I saw a pick-up truck pull up behind me. I looked in the rear view and put my car into reverse. I moved a few inches in reverse so he could notice that I was backing up.

Of course you’d think he would follow suit, and reverse right?

Of course…………..not.

So I moved a few more inches back. No deal. He didn’t move. At this point I was fuming and starting to get even more irritated. The man in front of me hadn’t returned to his car yet. I got out my car and walked toward the pick-up truck and polietly asked him if he could reverse so I could leave. This asshole looked at me as if I was crazy. Ok, I thought to myself, maybe he spoke spanish. So in my best broken spanish, I asked politely again, if he could move so I could get out.

This mother’efer starts to yell at me in ENGLISH. Talking about, he’s not in ANY RUSH.

At this point, my Irish blood starts to boil. My foot starts to tap. I stood there in almost disbelievement. This mother’efer wasn’t going to move.

Why lord, why did this man have to push the wrong buttons today?

Before I could even control my temper. I start yelling at him asking why was he being a fucking asshole? All he has to do is move back. I swear since living in Maryland, I’ve never come across so many dumb asses in my life. Of course he yelled back, but I ignored him, got into my car and rolled the windows up.

FINALLY, the car in front of me pulls off.

Of course, this is when I pull off and forget about the whole exchange, right?


I sat there for a good five minutes on a phone call and didn’t budge. But now, all of a sudden the pick-up truck that was behind me, who wasn’t in any rush, was in a rush. I looked at him from my rear view and winked my eye then blew him a kiss.

A few people who saw what was going on started clapping and was in tears from laughter. Today was not the day to mess with me.

Did I mention I was hot, exhausted and hungry?


  1. July 22, 2008 - Reply

    Lesson for today:
    When hungry, hot, irritated just go home. Normal asshole behave will piss you off even more. No dry cleaner, no gas stations, and Above All NO WALMART!!!

    • July 22, 2008 - Reply


      and you know, something in my head told me to go straight home..but did i listen? nope…lol

  2. July 22, 2008 - Reply

    Misspell should read : behavior

  3. July 22, 2008 - Reply

    Hee hee hee…. he wasn’t in a rush huh? Good job! Sometimes being irritated is the mother of very good revenge!

    • July 22, 2008 - Reply


      No one is ever in a rush for anyone else until they’re in a rush themselves…My little eye wink and the kiss I blew him, I’m sure he was fuming.

  4. July 22, 2008 - Reply

    Hey FBC
    We are at $4.35 a gallon down from $4.65 a couple of weeks ago. I can’t feel your pain, my is too great! The pain. The Bus, the train, the shoe leather!
    The Shaquille O’neal sized bunion! oh the humanity!

  5. July 22, 2008 - Reply

    too bad they caught the D.C. sniper. Looks like he was needed today.

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