Yesha Callahan

Null & Void Expertise

expertise

Every where I turn, there is someone professing to be some type of relationship “expert”. You have the  The Sex Experts, The Relationship Experts, The Marriage Experts, et. al.

Is there an ‘expert’ committee that goes around labeling people experts? Sometimes I feel that half of the time no one has labeled these people ‘experts’ but themselves. Sure, it looks good on a bio, CV or a website, but does any truth ring true to their ‘expertise’?

The “experts” that I truly find amusing are the ones who label themselves “Relationship Experts”. Why is it that these people are usually the ones who are single and haven’t had a decent relationship since Methuselah? What could anyone possibly learn from someone like that?

I vote that some of these “Relationship Experts” should call themselves something a little more apropos, “The Break-Up Expert” has a pretty good ring to it. Because damn, if they’re not in a relationship and they’re dishing advice, then I can only think the only thing they’re good at is breaking-up?

Correct me if I’m wrong?

Let’s not forget to mention the “SeXperts” (sex experts).

Now, truly the only person who I think fits into this category, and rightfully so, is Dr. Ruth.

Look at how old she is! She has to be pushing 100 by now, right? (just kidding)

She’s been having sex for a long ass time and has written about it for decades! But nowadays, you have people writing about sex, and guess what, chances are, they’re not having any. So in my mind, the only thing they’re an expert at is probably masturbation. So lets give a round of applause for “Masturbation Experts” because at least they’re practicing safe sex!

What also amuses me is that as soon as someone jumps into a new relationship, they’re now the ones willing to dish advice.  When weeks before, they were known as a “Man Bashing Expert”.
B*tch please.
Why would I want to take advice from anyone who’s willing to accept the first man who’s willing to offer them an iota of attention? Nah, I’m good. I’ll pass. It’s all the same book, just a different cover, if you ask me, as I look at my watch and see how long the relationship will last. One week, two weeks, three weeks, it’s over & now they’re back to their original expertise of  man bashing.
For now on, I’m going to call myself :
The “I Don’t Need An Expert Dishing Me Advice When They’re Only An Expert In Their Own Mind” Expert!

  1. January 28, 2009 - Reply

    u are on time with this today. are u a sex expert cause u f*ck a lot? a break up expert cause u get dumped all the time? its some real live bullshi*.
    maybe we should host an expert idol to determine who is actually qualified to hold those titles..lol

    • January 28, 2009 - Reply

      @akua

      You can be “Simon” lol!

  2. January 28, 2009 - Reply

    On the other side…breaking up can give you hindsight. A journal of your relationship journey so to speak. You know more about yourself and others once you’ve been through it. I’ve been single for a longer time then I’ve been coupled up, and people always come to me…they even feel better. Hell, some things I called so well they wonder if I’m psychic.
    Yet, I get it. SOME folks talk for the sake of talking. Advise for the sake of deflecting from their own shit and usually judge along the way. If it’s those you speak of, yea…they need to retire their expert caps ASAP!

    • January 28, 2009 - Reply

      @Kiwi

      always gotta be the devil’s advocate? lol
      i think i’d take the advice from someone easier that has been long-term single, more so than someone chick who’s been in and out of bad relationships for the majority of her dating career 🙂

  3. January 28, 2009 - Reply

    I am going to disagree with you on this one, there are BS degrees in all those topics. So your blog is flawed. Just ask them, they will definitely tell you where they got their BS degree………..Look at Dr. Phil, he actually got a college degree, but has converted it to a BS degree………

    • January 28, 2009 - Reply

      @MistaPickles

      Now when you say “BS” degree…do you mean “Bull Sh*t”?
      Or an actual degree? B/C if it’s the first, then I definitely know a couple of “bull sh*t” experts…It doesn’t even take a college degree for anyone to declare themselves experts nowadays…But those are not the ones I speak of, I only used Dr. Ruth as an example b/c of her longevity.

      • January 28, 2009 - Reply

        @[fung'ke] [blak] [chik]

        oh I definitely meant bullsh!t, everybody has a BS nowadays. For some reason MSNBC has a higher concentration though…………BS just abounds there….

        • January 28, 2009 - Reply

          @MistaPickles

          Don’t get me started on MSNBC…lol

  4. January 28, 2009 - Reply

    LOL. How true. That whole ‘expert’ thing is getting old. I wonder what I could label myself as an expert in…?

    • January 28, 2009 - Reply

      @curvygurl

      hmmmmm, we gotta think of an expert title for you! lol

  5. January 29, 2009 - Reply

    I want a title too!
    Oh and I want some female to give me some attention
    Wise sage…help me!
    eclectik-relaxation.com

    • January 29, 2009 - Reply

      @eclectik

      how about we call you the ‘eclectik expert” it has a nice alliteration ring to it 🙂
      now about the female, considering you’re in the md/dc area, that shouldn’t be too hard for you…maybe you should have hit up the ‘chick’ who added you to her email newsletter..lol

      • January 29, 2009 - Reply

        @[fung'ke] [blak] [chik]

        Y’all didn’t ask me, but I’m so not buying E’s ‘give me some attention’ claims either. He’s handsome, funny, and can cook (according to him…lol). I wanna know what the real deal is, E…

        • January 29, 2009 - Reply

          @curvygurl

          *ahem* preach, sista!
          can cook??? did you see the list of his “i won’t eat this”??? come on..i’m not going to buy the cooking part…what is he cooking? water? the negro has so many “i won’t eat” this or that, it’s ridiculous!
          so “E”, whats your “True Bloggerwood Story”?

          • January 29, 2009 - Reply

            @[fung'ke] [blak] [chik]

            ROFL!I guess I missed that post. 2 outta 3 ain’t bad…yeah, so what is the True Bloggerwood Story…? We’re waiting…

            • January 29, 2009 - Reply

              @curvygirl

              Wait.
              You will too buy my gimme some attention claims…i need and want some (attention as well)
              Handsome? Sure…look at me in the shadows 🙂
              I DO appreciate the funny compliment…supposedly women like a sense of humor (just not mine)
              I can too cook!
              So what it may be 5 or 6 thangs, but I put it down…so kiss it LOL
              I aint got no story…if you ever read my blog…for better or for worse…its e.
              This is my only female love of 09 🙂
              …and it aint even on my blog lol
              eclectik-relaxation.com

              • January 29, 2009 - Reply

                @eclectik

                LOL! You’re getting all emotional…aww…that’s cute 🙂
                Maybe I’ll see what attention I can find for you in my group of single girlfriend friends..lol

  6. January 29, 2009 - Reply

    Ha – you’re wrong talking about Dr. Ruth….although she’s old as dirt! LOL

    • January 29, 2009 - Reply

      @Darius T. Williams

      I like Dr. Ruth! I used to read her books when I was younger..(when I guess I shouldn’t have been)..lol

  7. January 29, 2009 - Reply

    Girl, you aien’t never lied about this expert thing. I think its just another to become a millionaire off of idiots who will buy the book…or video…or whatever they have to sell!

    • January 29, 2009 - Reply

      @Fresh

      Yes, the people who buy the books to learn what they should already know…unbelievable.

  8. January 30, 2009 - Reply

    funny how relationship nexperts dont ever be in a relationship huh

  9. January 30, 2009 - Reply

    I hear you on this one. It seems everyone and their momma is an expert nowadays. But if people are buying the kool-aid I suppose there is no need to change the flavor.

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