Yesha Callahan

It’s The End Of The World As We Know It

According to Family Radio Worldwide  Judgment Day is scheduled for May 21, 2011.

This really sucks. Especially since I was already preparing for the end of the world to happen on Dec. 21, 2012 according to the Mayan calendar. I still have tons of shit on my bucket list to accomplish. December 21, 2012 would give me more time to do the shit I’ve wanted to do before the end of the world. Hell, Morgan Freeman & Jack Nicholson weren’t the first people to make their bucket lists. I also watched that great documentary called, “2012”, which has thoroughly prepared me for the end of the world, but not for this Saturday!

Not to shit on the beliefs of the people that think May 21st is actually the end of the world, but was this something Nostradamous or Jesus predicted? Or just some random preacher? Well, to answer my own question according to the bible (which I haven’t touched since Sunday school) May 21 is just the start of the Rapture, where earthquakes will destroy the earth and bodies of the saved will be “caught up” into heaven. The actual end of the world will occur five months later, on Oct. 21, 2011; “they should be tormented five months,” according to Revelation 9:3-5.

Well damn.

Now that really sucks. So for 5 months, everyone is going to live with endless torture.

In my world, I call this football season.

Well, I’ve been trying to see the brighter side of this whole end of the world phenomenon.  If the end of the world does happen on May 21, or any other day for that matter, there are a few things to look forward to.

 

Things To Look Forward To When The World Ends

No more high gas prices. Seriously, I’m pretty sure Big Oil executives aren’t going to be the ones “caught up” into heaven. At $4.09, I’m praying they all go straight to hades.
Fox News will no longer be on air.  Need I say more? Oh really O’Reilly will  be out of a job.
Pet owners, you will no longer have to scoop your dogs poop.  After a week of handling dog shit, I don’t see how or why anyone would want to own a dog. I’m so over these two shihtzus already.
No more long hours at work.  Forget about a 9-5,  forget FMLA or Short Term Disability. You’ll be on an extended vacation. Forever.
No more high mortgages.  Although it is a buyers market right now, just think what it’ll feel like to be mortgage free. You can finally tell Fannie Mae to kiss your ass!
Speaking of bills, that FICO score you’ve been worried about, guess what? It doesn’t matter any more!
Men, you’ll never have to worry about having the right answer to, “Does this make my butt look too big?”. That will be the least of some chick’s worries.
Lastly…Remember that person you told to “go to hell”…well May 21st will be your lucky day. There’s a 50/50 chance they might be there!
 
So there are a few silver linings to the world ending. I wonder if I can use it as an excuse not to buy my son a birthday gift, since his birthday is on the 20th, “Kobe, what are you going to do with a new Xbox? You won’t be around on the 21st to play with it anyways!”. Hmm…never hurts to try.
Here’s a question, if you had an exact date for the end of the world, what would you do before that date?
 
*Well lookey here…it’s Sunday…how uneventful was that..?

  1. May 18, 2011 - Reply

    “I call it football season”
    AMEN! lol!

  2. May 18, 2011 - Reply

    I would definitely go out with a bang..literally..like on the color purple, “he died on top of me”..lol

    • May 22, 2011 - Reply

      @Deerborn

      you killed me with the Color Purp. reference!

  3. May 18, 2011 - Reply

    LMAO at the list…
    I’mma be mad it if I wake up on the 22nd and shit is still here…

    • May 22, 2011 - Reply

      @Kween

      Well are you mad? lol

  4. May 18, 2011 - Reply

    After finishing laughing at your things to look forward too…lol…I’d have to get my freak on like Deerborn said, scale the WH wall for the heck of it and take up residence in some kinda candy factory.

    • May 22, 2011 - Reply

      @Melzie

      Candy? lol! Got a sweet tooth I see!

  5. May 18, 2011 - Reply

    Gotta retwist my hair and wax all the essentials.
    This is nuts though! I saw the YouTube video of the guy predicting it… Looks like he will be the only one leaving.

    • May 22, 2011 - Reply

      @Qalil.com

      Imagine how the ppl that went out and quit their jobs feel? lol

  6. May 19, 2011 - Reply

    Are there gonna be zombies? Zombies make good movies and I’ve been trying to get back into acting again. Just saying…
    ~chappy
    http://www.insaneasylumblog.com

    • May 22, 2011 - Reply

      @The Insane Asylum (Mr. Chap)

      Unfortunately there were no zombies..lol

  7. May 24, 2011 - Reply

    I missed the rapture! That sucks! Did they serve food? and drinks?

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