According to Family Radio Worldwide Judgment Day is scheduled for May 21, 2011.
This really sucks. Especially since I was already preparing for the end of the world to happen on Dec. 21, 2012 according to the Mayan calendar. I still have tons of shit on my bucket list to accomplish. December 21, 2012 would give me more time to do the shit I’ve wanted to do before the end of the world. Hell, Morgan Freeman & Jack Nicholson weren’t the first people to make their bucket lists. I also watched that great documentary called, “2012”, which has thoroughly prepared me for the end of the world, but not for this Saturday!
Not to shit on the beliefs of the people that think May 21st is actually the end of the world, but was this something Nostradamous or Jesus predicted? Or just some random preacher? Well, to answer my own question according to the bible (which I haven’t touched since Sunday school) May 21 is just the start of the Rapture, where earthquakes will destroy the earth and bodies of the saved will be “caught up” into heaven. The actual end of the world will occur five months later, on Oct. 21, 2011; “they should be tormented five months,” according to Revelation 9:3-5.
Now that really sucks. So for 5 months, everyone is going to live with endless torture.
In my world, I call this football season.
Well, I’ve been trying to see the brighter side of this whole end of the world phenomenon. If the end of the world does happen on May 21, or any other day for that matter, there are a few things to look forward to.
Things To Look Forward To When The World Ends
No more high gas prices. Seriously, I’m pretty sure Big Oil executives aren’t going to be the ones “caught up” into heaven. At $4.09, I’m praying they all go straight to hades.
Fox News will no longer be on air. Need I say more? Oh really O’Reilly will be out of a job.
Pet owners, you will no longer have to scoop your dogs poop. After a week of handling dog shit, I don’t see how or why anyone would want to own a dog. I’m so over these two shihtzus already.
No more long hours at work. Forget about a 9-5, forget FMLA or Short Term Disability. You’ll be on an extended vacation. Forever.
No more high mortgages. Although it is a buyers market right now, just think what it’ll feel like to be mortgage free. You can finally tell Fannie Mae to kiss your ass!
Speaking of bills, that FICO score you’ve been worried about, guess what? It doesn’t matter any more!
Men, you’ll never have to worry about having the right answer to, “Does this make my butt look too big?”. That will be the least of some chick’s worries.
Lastly…Remember that person you told to “go to hell”…well May 21st will be your lucky day. There’s a 50/50 chance they might be there!
So there are a few silver linings to the world ending. I wonder if I can use it as an excuse not to buy my son a birthday gift, since his birthday is on the 20th, “Kobe, what are you going to do with a new Xbox? You won’t be around on the 21st to play with it anyways!”. Hmm…never hurts to try.
Here’s a question, if you had an exact date for the end of the world, what would you do before that date?
*Well lookey here…it’s Sunday…how uneventful was that..?