Yesha Callahan

Hell On Earth

This weekend I had the opportunity to spend 2 hours of my life, that I’ll never be able to regain, at hell on Earth! This place is one of the most obnoxious and nosey environments that I’ve ever been to. The loud and corny cover songs is just enough to drive anyone crazy. Couple that with screaming ass kids and parents who let them run around like chickens with their heads cut off and you have HELL, also known as Chuck E. Cheese!

The only reason I was there was because my assistant invited my son to her daughter’s 8th birthday party. For a month I was dreading this past Saturday. Even my son, who’s 9, really wasn’t to excited about it. His excitement came from the possibility of received a cool gift bag and eating cake. My excitement? Hmm, let’s just say it was nonexistent. I didn’t want to be rude and not show up, like some of my other coworkers who RSVP’d.

My question is why are there parents out there who just let their children act reckless. I could give a damn about it being a place for kids to play, it seems as though no one there was keeping an eye out on their kids.

“Go on Hakeem, run around barefoot and push kids off of the rides, I don’t care”, says the irresponsible parent. Well at least that’s what I think is going through their heads.

Or better yet, “Aquanetta, it’s ok to step on an adults foot without saying excuse me, step on them, look up, roll your eyes like it’s their fault, and keep it moving”, says another person who should have made better use out of birth control if they weren’t going to teach their children manners.

No, my son isn’t perfect, but he is a well mannered child. As we were leaving Hell, he accidentally bumped into an adult, and said, “Excuse me, I apologize”. The woman looked at me and said, “Wow, he’s such a well mannered young man”.  Hmm…I guess children with manners nowadays are anomalies. Let one of my sisters or brother as a kid bump into an adult and  not apologize, my mother would have ripped an ear off!

Let me not forget the profanity from these kids mouths. I’m not sure how many times I heard shit, damn, or fuck from these bad ass kid’s mouths. And where were the parents? Sitting on their asses eating tasteless pizza. Sometimes, you just want to haul off and smack a kid, but of course, you can’t hit someone else’s child unless you want to spend time at Central Booking.

Needless to say, never ever ever ever (did I mention ever?) will I step foot into that place.  Especially since Bebe and Bust it Baby kids still seem to be on the rise! And the parents are to blame.


  1. September 22, 2008 - Reply

    i like chuckee – here pitchers of beer 4$

    • September 22, 2008 - Reply


      they want to get u drink so you can stay longer and spend more money $$$ on nasty pizza and game coins.

  2. September 22, 2008 - Reply

    I hate that place too. Like you, the only reason why I go is because of those folks in my life who choose that as a party venue for their lil rugrats…
    One time we went, we sent my son and my best friends little girl, both were about four at the time to play in the toddler/lil kid area. Our thinking was hey, they’re all babies so no prob RIGHT? They arent out in GENERAL POPULATION so they’re safe RIGHT?? WRONG, we soon realized that there was a Four year old that was like the size of my kid and my friends kid put together bullying the other lil chirren and as we were watching from the other side of this netting type shit…this lil heifer deliberately took her fingernails and ran them down both sides of babygirls face scratching down the sides of each side temple to chin….deep scratches!!! Im running trying to get to the other side of that damn booby trap of a place and babygirl runs to me crying. So I go find big bullies mama and as it turns out big bully is bi-racial and mom is a very very young black white girl (you know what I mean) talkin shiznit about how we oughta be watching our kids…Im like we were watching ours its you’re the one not watching yours. Needless to say I had to use all of my alternative cuss words on her iggnant arse real loud and just about had her backed into a corner until the manager came where there were several other parents now joining the huddle complaining that “the bully” had assaulted their kids too. At this time bully and all of her accomplices(mom) were asked to leave. By then we all wanted nothing more than to get out of that place and get home. I think it was two or three years before babygirl was able to go back to that place again. Fortunately my son (the diplomat) is gifted in that he can make folks just come over to his side everyone I have ever seen him have a conflict with soon becomes one of his best friends…I am sure he will make an impressive attorney one day. But he got an extensive lesson in using that diplomacy to take up for your friends.
    I agree that you should stay out of that awful place and if someone should invite your son again do what I do and tell them you’re both allergic to lifesize rodents and ask if they can just drop off a coupla pieces of cake…Happy Monday!

    • September 22, 2008 - Reply


      LOL @ ‘allergic to lifesize rodents’!
      speaking of rodents, now my son wants a hamster! YUCK!

  3. September 22, 2008 - Reply

    This post had me crackin up…Although I don’t have any children, there are a few kids that I treat like my nieces and nephews and are always trying to take them somwhere “different.” Thankfully, I haven’t been forced to go to any of these places yet.
    I think some parents ignore the problem because they are happy that the kid is not in their face acting an ignorant fool!

    • September 22, 2008 - Reply

      @Nicki Sunshine

      “I think some parents ignore the problem because they are happy that the kid is not in their face acting an ignorant fool!”
      ~you may have a point there!

  4. September 22, 2008 - Reply

    I didn’t know kids that old had parties there… I thought more like 4 or 5 yr olds? Anyway, I often wonder how parents let their kids get away with such bad behavior. I remember when the look on my mother’s face was enough to get me to calm down.. like Bernie Mac said (RIP) its the punk ass parents.. and people thought WE were bad! Sheesh… makes me scared to procreate sometimes.

    • September 22, 2008 - Reply


      He was definitely right about punk ass parents…some people should not be allowed to procreate!

  5. September 22, 2008 - Reply

    You have just entered the United States Goverments ongoing Lord of the flies experiment! Chuck E Cheese ( a large Ratt) allows children, not lil adults, children to run unchecked, hopped up on sodawater while adults get bombarded with flashinglights, screaming at all decibels and worst of all Chuck E. with insipid, cardboard like substances passed off as pizza.
    Remember what happened to Piggy in Lord of the Flies?

    • September 22, 2008 - Reply


      ..substances passed of as pizza!
      Great Lord of the Flies analogy!! It fits it to a “T”!

  6. September 22, 2008 - Reply

    LOL-Bust It Baby kids…I’ll have to remember that one.

    • September 22, 2008 - Reply


      That’s exactly what they are

  7. September 22, 2008 - Reply

    So i take it, you didn’t enjoy yourself? lol

    • September 22, 2008 - Reply

      @Anthony Taurus

      Of course I enjoyed it…at 2pm when it was time to leave!

  8. September 23, 2008 - Reply

    Giiirrrrrlllll…I hate that damn place! The last time I was there was probably like 15 years ago and it was exactly as you described it. The worst part about it is that I was a kid at the time and I begged my aunt to take me home away from those horrible kids!! I want kids someday but the thought of Chuck E. Cheese makes want to take birth control the rest of my life!

  9. September 23, 2008 - Reply

    I don’t necessarily hate the place, but I hate the traffic!

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