Yesha Callahan

Hamster, It’s What’s For Dinner

Somewhere on Rt. 29 North in Burtonsville, MD there is a hamster that has either:

A) Lost its way in the bushes

B) Has become roadkill

C) Has become a larger animal’s dinner.

For the past couple of months, ever since he saw his cousin’s hamster, my son has been begging me to get him one. Every couple of days, he’d bring up the hamster issue, and I would flat out say NO. I did not want any type of rodent in my house. Dogs, sure. Rodents, never.

This past weekend, he was in the NJ area visiting family and my grandmother promised that she would take him to the pet store to buy a hamster. I knew I should have stuck to saying ‘no’, but I decided that I would allow her to buy him one. For whatever reason, I was informed on Sunday, that she didn’t have time to take him to the store, so she suggested that I look on Craigslist for one.

When the kid came back home, all he could talk about was this damn hamster. What he was going to name it. Where he was going to put the cage. This went on & on & on. I finally had to tell him to cut it out with the hamster talk. Eventually I decided to look on Craigslist, to see if anyone was giving away a hamster, because I seriously did not want to spend money on a rodent. It didn’t take long to find someone who was giving away a hamster. I emailed the woman and we chose a time for me to pick it up, which was today.

Today was the ‘big’ day. The kid was finally going to get his hamster. He was excited, and I would have rather had a V-8. We made our way to the meeting place in Rockville, made the hamster transaction, and were on our way back home.

About 15 minutes into the ride. There were screams & panic in the back of my truck, the kid and my nephew were scrambling for cover. Some how the damn rodent got out of the cage and was running around on the floor!! Here I am driving down Rt. 29 at night, and in the rain, and panic is erupting in the back seat. I swerved to pull over onto the shoulder, so I could see what was going on. What a fucking great time to find out that my son and nephew were both AFRAID to pick up the damn rodent. We were parked on the shoulder for about a 1/2 hour, in between me yelling at them, the damn hamster running from the back of the truck to the front seat area, I had reached my breaking point!

Why me??? Why me? ((C) Nancy Kerrigan)  Is what I was yelling!

I ordered them to get the fucking hamster up the best way they could and pitch the shit out of my car. YES, I told them to throw it out of the car! At this point, I was FUMING. Finally, I managed to flip it out of my door with tip of my boot. Be gone you nasty rodent! Arrivederci!

The ride back to the house was a very somber one. I heard sniffling in the back seat. My son and nephew were both in tears. But they caused it for themselves. All they had to do was manage to keep the hamster in it’s cage for the amount of time it took to get home. But noooooooo. That didn’t happen. So, now the kid has a hamster cage as a pet.

  1. November 13, 2008 - Reply

    how can you hate on hamsters? look at that cute lil face. im mean omg why would anyone want to bring harm to such cute lil fuzzy creatures.

    • November 13, 2008 - Reply

      @jason

      it’s a f*cking rodent!
      and in certain foreign countries they’re considered delicasies!

  2. November 13, 2008 - Reply

    What is D. all of the above Alex for $1000

    • November 13, 2008 - Reply

      @MistaPickles

      Yes, I should have added a “D” choice!

  3. November 13, 2008 - Reply

    HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. lol. Hilarious.

    • November 13, 2008 - Reply

      @Anthony Taurus

      pretty much!

  4. November 13, 2008 - Reply

    LOL!
    See? That’s why I’m glad I’m in Northern VA…Killer Hampsters on the loose!
    LMAO@ The Nancy Reference
    e.

    • November 13, 2008 - Reply

      @eclectik

      I use the Nancy reference all the time…most people have no idea what I’m talking about lol

      • November 14, 2008 - Reply

        @[fung'ke] [blak] [chik]

        They not down with the Jeff Gillooly? LOL
        e.

  5. November 13, 2008 - Reply

    OMG!! This is funny and sad @ the same time! Lol…your son and nephew are gonna be traumatized for life

    • November 13, 2008 - Reply

      @Mimi

      Yes, I felt bad, my son was sad at school all day, so guess who got a new hamster today..My friend took him to pick it out, and amazingly he wasn’t afraid of it.

  6. November 13, 2008 - Reply

    LOL! I know its not funny, yes it is. However like you said he brought it on himself!
    -OG

    • November 13, 2008 - Reply

      @OG

      my sentiments exactly! all he had to do was let it be..but, that didn’t happen.

  7. November 13, 2008 - Reply

    Oh, that’s so awful! Poor little hamster. Your poor son and nephew. I wish they had kept the cage closed.

    • November 13, 2008 - Reply

      @mzroz

      They’ll be fine..they got a new one today lol

  8. November 13, 2008 - Reply

    LOL! LOL! LOL! ROFLMAO!

  9. November 13, 2008 - Reply

    Why did I burst out in a fit of laughter! Hilarious!!! My cousin has one of those things. Thank God she wasn’t afraid to handle it, else I would have cussed her out too. Poor babies! I feel bad for them (your son and nephew), but dang it, you could have wrecked the car with the commotion they were causing. Maybe when they get a little older they can deal. But LMAO…

  10. November 14, 2008 - Reply

    aw… poor lil hammy is road kill!
    and you made the kid cry? its all YER FAULT!
    YOU flicked it out with ur big mean rodent-bandoning boots!!
    dont you feel guilty?
    i used to have a hamster… found out shortly after i got it that hammy was a hamm-eisha and has 8 lil hamlets!!
    take it from me… better a hamster than a guinea pig !! UGH! those things squawk like nothing ive ever heard!
    get the kid a new hamster and PAY for it u cheap-o phillip-o!
    ok dont… get him a gold fish!

  11. November 14, 2008 - Reply

    LMAOOOOOO… I’m wit ya sis – I ain’t with no damn rodent either – I dont care what no one says about it, those things are rats… I grew up in the PJs & I know a rat when I see one – sometimes we call em hamsters lmaoooooo

  12. November 14, 2008 - Reply

    *edit*
    ~im glad you got him a new hamster:) lol {guess i should read the comments before i call you a meanie next time lol}

    • November 14, 2008 - Reply

      @nunya

      we woke up this morning to a dead hamster 🙁
      he must have died over night in his hamster cage…we’re in mourning.

      • November 14, 2008 - Reply

        @[fung'ke] [blak] [chik]

        oh no!!
        ((hugs)) for the kid.
        … maaaaybe a hamster is a bad idea? all these hamsters passing is a bad sign!
        *get the fish!*

  13. November 14, 2008 - Reply

    u are a great momma
    and funny too lol

  14. November 14, 2008 - Reply

    LMAOOOO, That was funny as HEYELL! LMAO @ hamster transaction! GEEZ! I would’ve been pissed too! And they’re back there sniffling like little girls, scared to pick it up! Watch your hamster, KID!!!

  15. November 14, 2008 - Reply

    that’s kinda funny, yet kinda sad. poor hamster.

  16. November 16, 2008 - Reply

    ohhhmyyyefffingeee! in the car? crying? hamster? driving in the rain? at least you know it got out instead of.. “i don’t know where it went” LOL!

  17. March 29, 2010 - Reply

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Carolyn Edgar, Dawn Summers. Dawn Summers said: This story made me laugh tears. RT @fungkeblakchik: "Hamster, It's What's For Dinner"- http://tinyurl.com/yj37fz8 […]

  18. March 29, 2010 - Reply

    OK. I know I'm not supposed to be laughin' at this but I can't damed help it. See, I wanted a hamster myself but my Grandmother said HAYEL NAW!! She didn't like anything that resembled a Rat and she wasn't about something of that nature in the family. I eventually got a dog and that was that.

    God forbid your son asked you for a SNAKE!

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