Yesha Callahan

From Play Dates to First Date

Jaden & Ayanna @ Six Flags

My son, Jaden, and his best friend, Ayanna, have been friends since they were 5 years old, and now they’re both 10. A few weeks ago, Jaden came home from school and told me that he caught Ayanna kissing another classmate.  All I could think to myself was, “Oh boy, here we go”. A 10 year old 5th grader kissing? What is the world coming to? But then again, I guess I shouldn’t be so shocked. Kids nowadays are a lot more aggressive then say 20 years ago.

My mother ruled her house with an iron fist when I was growing up. We dared not to mention anything about liking boys or wanting to go out on dates.  I truly don’t think I missed out on much living under her rules. I didn’t have a first date until the summer before my freshman year in college and I was already 18 years old. I guess you can say because of my mother’s strict rules, I was raised a bit sheltered.  I always told myself I would try to let my child have the freedom I didn’t have, but it’s getting harder to do that every day. I don’t want to keep him under lock & key, but I don’t want to have him grow up any faster than he needs to.

Occasionally, when I have my son and his friend, Ayanna, out at the movies, they’ll joke around and say that they’re on a ‘date’. I usually try to quiet them down so people around us won’t look at me like I’m crazy, when they mention their ‘date’. Up until the other day, before hearing about Ayanna’s kissing incident, I was OK with the two of them hanging out and even having her spend the night at my house.  What a difference a kiss & a few weeks make. I’m not sure if I’m going to limit their activities, but I did explain to my son that I felt it was unacceptable for kids, as he calls it, to ‘lock-lips’.

If I had my way, my son would have his first real date, sometime around 20 years old, but I know that’s not reality. Realistically speaking, I would let him start dating during his freshman year of high school. I think by that time, teens will have reached the rebellious stage, and will more than likely sneak around when you tell them they’re not allowed to do something. Instead of having a teen that is sneaking around behind my back, I’d rather enable him and encourage an open and honest parent/teen relationship.  I’m hoping by the time he’s in high school, I will have taught him well enough where he’s respectful to the person he chooses to ‘date’.

It’s funny, my son has these ideas in his head that by the time he goes on his first real date, he will have saved up all of his money he’s been receiving over the years and his first date will happen at  Disney World. I cherish the innocence that he still has and can only hope  Ayanna doesn’t try to kiss him before his teen years.

  1. September 21, 2009 - Reply

    Little girls are the WORST! She seems like she's going to be a handful eventually, if not already.

  2. September 21, 2009 - Reply

    HAHAHA!! THIS IS FUNNY BUT AT THE SAME TIME..THESE LITTLE GIRLS COMING UP NOW ARE MORE FRESH THAN THE BOYS..IT BOTHERS ME!!. I RECENTLY HAD A VIDEO SENT TO ME THAT REALLY BOUGHT MY ATTENTION. THERE WERE HISPANIC KIDS AT A PARTY ABD THE PARENTS WERE AT THE PARTY AS WELL AND THESE KIDS WERE GIRATING ON EACH OTHER. MIND YOU THE KIDS ARE ABOUT 5-7 YRS OLD RANGE. SO WHAT THESE KIDS ARE DOING, THEY MUST BEING SEEING THIS SOMEWHERE OR FROM SOMEONE AND THEY THINK ITS OKAY BUT ITS NOT!!!..SO THE GENERATION NOW THATS COMING UP IM SCARED FOR THEM. ITS ALL IN THE PARENTING AND THE RELATIONSHIP BOND THAT YOU HAVE WITH YOUR KIDS.

  3. September 21, 2009 - Reply

    Oh lawd lol….sounds like a hot momma!!

  4. September 21, 2009 - Reply

    Esha you didn't get your first kiss when you were 10. Thats when it all starts. You didn't play get a girl catch a girl.

  5. September 21, 2009 - Reply

    Nope, not when I was 10…I wasn't one of those 'fast-tail' girls, which was what my grandmother referred to them as…lol!

  6. September 21, 2009 - Reply

    Nowadays, giving HEAD is a kiss. *SMDH*. Well, it kinda was back in the days but you just ain't hear about it. It's more OUT there now. 10 years old, tho? That's when the questions start about sex and the whole nine. I was school when I was 9..first by my homies (they were like 5 years older than me) then by my mother. As you can imagine, I got different lessons.

    But you don't have to worry about nothin'. I'm sure you son is a good kid and won't wanna do nothin' to make his Mama snap his neck.

  7. September 21, 2009 - Reply

    “Get a Girl, Catch a girl”, “Hide and Go FREAK”…ALL THAT SHIT!! BOY, do I remember them days. *SMDH*. I ain't play often because most the girls who wanted to play with me was ugly.

  8. September 21, 2009 - Reply

    Hmmm, I still stand by my past statement. That little girl is too FAST.

    She and I gonna have to fight.

    Wait, did I say that out loud?

    That is all.

  9. September 21, 2009 - Reply

    I had my first kiss at 8 and didn't like it! LoL, maybe Ayanna didn't like it either. One can only hope that she retains her innocence and let's your son keep his too! 🙂

  10. September 22, 2009 - Reply

    what so all little girls corrupt sweet innocent little boys? please!

    a kiss is a kiss is a kiss

    “Little girls are the WORST! She seems like she's going to be a handful eventually, if not already.”

    dude that's totally sexist

  11. September 22, 2009 - Reply

    I think there are little girls that are a little more 'fresh' than others…but not all of them are like that…at least I know my sisters & I weren't growing up.

  12. September 22, 2009 - Reply

    I've seen that video as well..it's quite scary. They're learning it from somewhere.

  13. September 22, 2009 - Reply

    LMAO @ ugly! SOOO WRONG!

  14. September 22, 2009 - Reply

    You are not allowed to fight the kids! lol

  15. September 22, 2009 - Reply

    That is true..maybe she didn't..but I'm still keeping her at arms length for now on lol

  16. September 22, 2009 - Reply

    I'm going to assume she wasn't speaking of all little girls..but like I said to her, there are some out there who are a lot fresher than others…and you can only blame it on the parents.

  17. September 22, 2009 - Reply

    I'm just SAYIN!

  18. September 23, 2009 - Reply

    Can I hit 'er with water balloons until she retreats? She needs to be nipped in the bud NOW! 🙂

  19. September 26, 2009 - Reply

    Wow, watch that Ayanna. LOL I can remember having a “boyfriend” in 1st grade. I paid that dude a bag of popcorn to be my man…is there a surprise that he'd try and renege after eating the bag? LMAO

    After that, I learned not to hold hands, call a boy my boyfriend, or be nice to their raggedy asses for a long time. haha! I think that even though it was innocent I still learned quickly how to view little boys…and I think the same thing goes for the way little girls are viewed by little innocent displays of curiosity. Without a doubt, the Kid will date…it's just a matter of time…but, I think with you as a mom, opening the lines of communication and showing him what's respectable…he'll do fine.

  20. September 28, 2009 - Reply

    “My mother ruled her house with an iron fist when I was growing up. We dared not to mention anything about liking boys or wanting to go out on dates. “

    Same here…in fact now she's begging for grandkids and thinks men and marriages appear out of thin air. lol

    I didnt have my first date until my senior year in HS at 18. Although, I'm still debating on whether or not I missed out on anything. I am finishing up college now and I think those integral years of adolescence when I was supposed to be honing my [romantic] social skills with the opposite sex was kind of lost. Don't get me wrong I didn't and still don't want to be a “fast girl”… just less awkward lol

    Although my mother and fathers parenting style has kept me and my siblings out of trouble it definitely needs a little tweaking to bring some form of balance, so I'll be sure to keep that in mind one day if I have my own kids.

  21. September 29, 2009 - Reply

    “My mother ruled her house with an iron fist when I was growing up. We dared not to mention anything about liking boys or wanting to go out on dates. “

    Same here…in fact now she's begging for grandkids and thinks men and marriages appear out of thin air. lol

    I didnt have my first date until my senior year in HS at 18. Although, I'm still debating on whether or not I missed out on anything. I am finishing up college now and I think those integral years of adolescence when I was supposed to be honing my [romantic] social skills with the opposite sex was kind of lost. Don't get me wrong I didn't and still don't want to be a “fast girl”… just less awkward lol

    Although my mother and fathers parenting style has kept me and my siblings out of trouble it definitely needs a little tweaking to bring some form of balance, so I'll be sure to keep that in mind one day if I have my own kids.

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