Yesha Callahan

Dear Lil Kim’s Face:

Dear Lil Kim:

I’m really not sure where to begin, but recently I came across a photo online and needless to say, I was taken aback  a bit a lot. To say that a lot has changed about your face is an understatement.

You went from looking like this:

To looking like this:

Sure, you started out as the quintessential black girl lost story and hip-hop was an outlet for you. Granted, no one is still sure if you’ve actually written any of your own rhymes, but that’s besides the point. Your face has been on the cover of countless magazines, and every time it appears some where, you’re gradually turning into a geisha looking prostitute that was attacked by an over zealous cosmetic surgeon and make-up artist.

I’m truly starting to believe that you don’t have many friends in your corner. Sure, you have friends who purposely say, “Yeah girl, you look great”, when you ask how you look before you leave for an event. But, let me be the first to tell you, those people are probably laughing at you behind your back.

You look fucking ridiculous.

What happened to Kimberly Jones? (minus the crotch exposing album cover).

Where’s that face?

Who replaced it with something from the x-rated  version of The Muppets Take Manhattan?

Seriously, you can’t truly believe that the picture above looks “good”. Sure, the peanut butter looks kind of tasty, but your face, well it’s kind of pasty. I’m going to assume that’s Shellac #10 on your face and not Mac make-up. The lacefront? The Nose? I don’t even know where to begin, so I won’t, but realize, you look ridiculous.

Along with your music & your face, I blame you for Nikki Minaj, but that’s neither here or there.

The sad part of this whole “is that your face” issue, is that you’ll never be able to get your old face back. If you ever have children, they won’t see their own face in yours when they look at you. They’ll see a muppet, a very bad looking muppet. A muppet that Kermit, probably wouldn’t want to touch with a 10 foot froggy penis.

In any event, I’m sure you’re too busy worrying about Nikki Minaj’s career and your current lack of one right now, to concern yourself with how people feel about your face, so I figured I would let you know.

You’re welcome.

  1. July 14, 2010 - Reply

    Well DAMN!
    And that is all that needs to be said. Quiet as kept you couldn’t be more right. Especially with the kids comment. Tragic…

    • July 14, 2010 - Reply

      @Mr. RLW

      *the end*

  2. July 14, 2010 - Reply

    I was looking at the video for “Get Money” by Junior Mafia the other day with my girl. I mentioned to her that the 20 year old Lil’ Kim in that video looked gorgeous & kind of classy as is. Why did she get plastic surgery in the first place when her original self was dark & lovely to look at? I saw her several times in the 90s & every time I liked what I saw. I literally want to smack her & her surgeon for doing this because she will never look the same again. At a young age someone must have bludgeoned into her skull that she was ugly. I would like to know who so I can commit my first homicide.

    • July 14, 2010 - Reply

      @Muhammad the Harlem Sk8rboi

      Yeah and let her tell it…that someone was B.I.G…he was the last one that should have said anything..
      he said it himself, “black & ugly as ever…”..yup..that’s him.

      • July 14, 2010 - Reply


        I agree. I also think that there is some kind of psychosis related to the way Faith looks. It’s like she wanted to be her…thinking that is what men prefer.

  3. July 14, 2010 - Reply

    LMAO…so true. I kept looking at her and thinking…damn. Do YOU even recognize you? It’s sad though…when you realize how many celebrities, let alone average people are so disenchanted with themselves that they will basically chop themselves up before fixing what is REALLY wrong. *smh*

  4. July 14, 2010 - Reply

    I can’t with that poor child’s face. I can’t. I still don’t understand what I’m looking at.

  5. July 14, 2010 - Reply

    the title of this post alone… killed me. lol
    it’s quite amazing how she looks now. it’s like she took a picture of latoya jackson into her office visit and said “THIS is what i want to look like, please.”
    i’m scared of her face. and i blame her for that nikki garbaj chick as well.

  6. July 14, 2010 - Reply

    You’re a hot damn mess! I died @ “the peanut butter looks kind of tasty, but your face, well it’s kind of pasty.” BTW, that’s Nutella boo. Don’t ask how I know though!!! #fatfoodieboy
    And I do feel so sorry for her. Her pussy is probably still good, may even taste like Skittles but its hard to get past that lace front & face.
    In 5 years, she will look like a cat. A Siamese cat! Shit, she’s half way there now.

  7. July 14, 2010 - Reply

    I’ve long since accepted that Lil Kim is suffering from some unfortunate plastic procedures. That oddly slim, yet bulbous nose is her’s now; the skin that varies in unnatural hues from day – hers; those lips; cheeks. This Lil Kim.
    What I cannot abide is why a wealthy woman, or famous because celebs get a lot of free stuff, is unable to hire better make up artists and stylists.
    Money/Fame can’t buy happiness, but it can buy better style.
    Just. Doesn’t. Make. Sense.

  8. July 14, 2010 - Reply

    What I really want to ask her face is what sort of attention does she/it receive from males and is she satisfied at it? Did she expect to receive this much/this little?
    I think Lil Kim would have had an easier time of her botched surgeries if she hadn’t been famous and wasn’t constantly compared to old photos. Just seeing her in the streets, you would have thought she was a woman who looked over done with the wrong make up. And the f-ed up lace front.

  9. July 14, 2010 - Reply

    She looks like LaToya Jackson, eeeeeeehhhh.
    Peace, Love and Chocolate

  10. July 15, 2010 - Reply

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  11. July 15, 2010 - Reply

    I remember reading a Lil Kim interview where she stated that Pamela Anderson was her idol. I remember thinking, that’s funny. Over time, she adopted a valley girl accent and she started visting the plastic surgeon way to much. Identity crisis at it’s finest. Very good read!

  12. July 15, 2010 - Reply

    Bahaha @ I blame you for Nicki Minaj…. obviously I don’t know Kim personally but the voluntary massacre of her face leads me to believe that she isn’t the smartest woman in the world. That said I’m sure she would take the diss as a compliment and say THANK YOU, FINALLY SOMEBODY GAVE ME MY PROPS!

  13. July 16, 2010 - Reply

    She’s looks a hot mess, but why didn’t you address that horrible lace front wig as well? OH, sorry I forgot you have addressed those.

    • July 21, 2010 - Reply


      yes no need to repeat it
      but for the’s a hot mess

  14. July 20, 2010 - Reply

    this makes me really sad. i feel bad for kim.

  15. July 20, 2010 - Reply

    this makes me sad. i feel bad for kim.

    • July 21, 2010 - Reply


      booo! she did it to herself.

  16. July 22, 2010 - Reply

    I am not able with you…lmmfao
    HOWEVER, you are so right on the nose..face…and everything else. SMH.

  17. July 27, 2010 - Reply

    A walking advertisement to avoid plastic surgery by at all costs.

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