Dear Lil Kim:
I’m really not sure where to begin, but recently I came across a photo online and needless to say, I was taken aback a bit a lot. To say that a lot has changed about your face is an understatement.
You went from looking like this:
To looking like this:
Sure, you started out as the quintessential black girl lost story and hip-hop was an outlet for you. Granted, no one is still sure if you’ve actually written any of your own rhymes, but that’s besides the point. Your face has been on the cover of countless magazines, and every time it appears some where, you’re gradually turning into a geisha looking prostitute that was attacked by an over zealous cosmetic surgeon and make-up artist.
I’m truly starting to believe that you don’t have many friends in your corner. Sure, you have friends who purposely say, “Yeah girl, you look great”, when you ask how you look before you leave for an event. But, let me be the first to tell you, those people are probably laughing at you behind your back.
You look fucking ridiculous.
What happened to Kimberly Jones? (minus the crotch exposing album cover).
Where’s that face?
Who replaced it with something from the x-rated version of The Muppets Take Manhattan?
Seriously, you can’t truly believe that the picture above looks “good”. Sure, the peanut butter looks kind of tasty, but your face, well it’s kind of pasty. I’m going to assume that’s Shellac #10 on your face and not Mac make-up. The lacefront? The Nose? I don’t even know where to begin, so I won’t, but realize, you look ridiculous.
Along with your music & your face, I blame you for Nikki Minaj, but that’s neither here or there.
The sad part of this whole “is that your face” issue, is that you’ll never be able to get your old face back. If you ever have children, they won’t see their own face in yours when they look at you. They’ll see a muppet, a very bad looking muppet. A muppet that Kermit, probably wouldn’t want to touch with a 10 foot froggy penis.
In any event, I’m sure you’re too busy worrying about Nikki Minaj’s career and your current lack of one right now, to concern yourself with how people feel about your face, so I figured I would let you know.