I joke. I kid. Well, not really. You see tonight I decided to head out with a friend to my town’s local pool hall/lounge/sports bar/club. Surprisingly the place had a pretty good mix of music. I hadn’t planned on staying too long because it’s the middle of the work week. So I grabbed a drink and stood back to observe for a few. My friend headed to the dance floor really quick. He told me that he had his eyes on some chick and wanted to get her attention. Even though she was already dancing with some other guy, he made his way over to her.
To give you a bit of background info on my friend. Him and I rarely go out together unless I’m trying to hook him up with a girlfriend of mine and it’s a double date type of deal. I’ve never gone out with him to any type of function/event that involves dancing or any other type of activity that involves having, um, how can I put this…
When he got on the dance floor, he looked as if he was having seizures. I practically choked on my drink while watching him. The girl he was trying to dance with stopped right in the middle of the song and walked away and left him standing there. Eventually after more spastic movements he made his way back to the bar area.
“I guess she couldn’t handle all of that”, he said.
“All of what? I think she thought you were having seizures”, I laughed.
I asked him what happened to the rhythm? Was he listening to the same song everyone else was, or did he have something totally different in his head? I didn’t know whether to feel bad for his lack of rhythm or to feel bad because he has no idea he doesn’t have any at all. I thought to myself for a second. Wait. This man went to an HBCU (Historically Black College/University), was in one of the best HBCU marching bands there ever was! WTF happened?
Before I could even ask him how he managed to be in a marching band without any rhythm, he moved on to his next victim on the dance floor. Once again, the sporadic movement, the arms wailing in the air, his periodic pelvic thrusts was way to much for the woman to handle. But instead of walking away from him, she grabbed his hand and lead him to the bar. They talked for a few minutes and eventually exchanged phone numbers before she headed out the door. Thankfully, he’s quite a handsome and polite man, because it definitely wasn’t his dancing moves the reeled her in.
As I’m laying here tonight, I’m praying that my son will eventually get his rhythm in tune. I try not to laugh when he attempts to dance, but now looking back at my friend on the dance floor, I’m definitely going to have to put in some work with my son, just so he won’t end up like Mr. Rhythm-less Nation.