Yesha Callahan

(f?ng’k?) Feet

Picture this scenario. You’re relaxing on the couch and enjoying a movie after an evening date with a tall, handsome recently retired NFL star. The two of you get comfortable and remove your shoes and start to stretch out on the couch. After a few minutes, you take in a deep breath and the scent of Fritos lingers across your nasal passage. You look down at your feet and realize that you’ve never had an odor problem in regards to your feet.

The only obvious explanation is that it’s the other person’s feet! Now, you think to yourself, “If I can smell this stench, I’m sure they can too!”. Where are the odor eaters when you need them?
Yes, people, his feet smelled horrible. It was like I was sitting on top of Frito mountain in the middle of Summer. Hot. (f?ng’k?). Feet. How appetizing, especially after a dinner of seafood!
I tried to squirm to the other side of the couch but of course he moved in closer and wrapped his arms around me. I tried to breath through my mouth, just so I could smell as little as possible. That did not work. I thought to myself, “Does he not smell his feet?”. I realize this is a common problem for men, but if you’re 30-something years old, your feet have been (f?ng’k?) for a while, it didn’t just happen over night!

It was hard to pay attention to the movie, because all I could think of is how am I going to approach the subject. Should I blatantly come out and tell this 6’6 man that his feet stink, maybe he should go and wash them and put his shoes outside to air out? Or, should I just sit there and grin and bear it? I knew it wouldn’t be much longer before the movie ended so I just sat there breathing through my mouth for the rest of the evening.
A few days later we spoke on the phone and it took every ounce of energy for me NOT to say something about his feet. Eventually I blurted out, “You really should throw away those shoes you wore the other night, they’re causing your feet to stink”. There was a few seconds of awkward silence and he started laughing. He told me I was the first woman to mention the fact that his feet smelled and that he appreciated it and that he’ll definitely invest in some foot powder and get rid of his problem shoes.
Who knew it would have been that easy. I wish I would have said something while we were watching the movie, because I would have actually been able to pay attention to it, instead of trying to divert myself from the (f?ng’k?) feet!
Move over Dr. School’s, Japan has minty insoles!
 

  1. April 22, 2008 - Reply

    one word “ozium”

  2. April 22, 2008 - Reply

    KEEPER OF TYME: LMAO! Yeah, funny you should mention that, another friend of mine did as well. Thanks, fam!

    Ooop-Roo!

  3. April 23, 2008 - Reply

    lmaoooo! yea since summer has rolled around everyones wearing flip flops…in hot boxy classrooms (um as of thursday i will never be in one again! tear!) and just don’t manage to smell their own funk!!!!! disgusto!

  4. April 23, 2008 - Reply

    LOL! I feel like you helped someone become a man that day! I’m just thinking about the moments he asked you a question and you had to chose between answering and breathing…what to do? Nod I guess.

  5. April 23, 2008 - Reply

    I wished blatant honesty worked on my brother because his (f?ng’k?) ass feet been killing me for years…

    I kid you not, he must have JUST taken his shoes off because I’m getting a wiff right now. UGH.

    ((BTW: I like the new layout girl and you should have added me on MySpace! LoL. I MySpace stalk too. And Facebook stalk. But yeah… I don’t hate AA County… I’ve learned to appreciate it’s wackness.))

  6. April 23, 2008 - Reply

    Girl you should have told him right then and there. No one should have to deal with the torture. LOL

    Moni/Nat B

  7. April 23, 2008 - Reply

    rescue the situation and offer him a hot ambrosial footbath.

  8. April 23, 2008 - Reply

    allienicole: girl, i bet you don’t even have AC in those classrooms. Woe is you!

    amaretto: those were the longest two hours of my life…i ran out of that house with the quickness when the movie was over..i was never so happy to breath in MD air in my whole entire life!

    lisa turtle: i feel sorry for your nose! my little brother’s feet used to stink like high hell!
    (yeah my html skills are basic..but i refused to pay someone $300 to do it!)

    moni: glad to see you check in 😉 i guess there’s still a polite bone in my body..lol

    nonblogger: hmm..ambrosial sounds good!

  9. August 12, 2009 - Reply

    i can't deal with anyone with funky feet @soulafrodisiac and I are cracking up on gtalk

  10. August 12, 2009 - Reply

    i can't deal with anyone with funky feet @soulafrodisiac and I are cracking up on gtalk

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