Yesha Callahan

When Memories Fade

forget me knots

A couple of months ago I received a health diagnosis that I’ll basically have to live with for the rest of my life. It’s not anything life threatening, but it definitely had it’s debilitating moments while I was undergoing my diagnosis. Now at the age of 30-something, I  swear my medicine cabinet looks like it belongs to a senior citizen. I have pills for everything. Eventually, I got the issue under control with the medication and a change in my diet, but with all medications, there’s some sort of side effect.

I always prided myself on having a pretty impeccable memory. It was effortless for me to recall every teacher, starting from kindergarten, to college. It took nothing for me to remember a conversation from years ago, and even the details that led to the conversation. But unfortunately that’s slowly changing. When you read about the side effects of medication, you never think that you’ll become part of the small statistic of people who actually experience adverse side effects.

Not being able to remember little things is quite frustrating. I can literally walk into a room and not remember what I went in there for. Remembering a conversation from a week ago is a task. My son told me the other day that I sound like a broken record because I kept on asking him the same question even though he had answered already the same one earlier in the day.

One of the few people who have noticed these changes, besides my son, is HWSRN (he who shall remain nameless). With everyone else I’ve been able to laugh certain things off and just blame it on me having a ‘blond’ moment that day or just being tired. I remember (go figure) when he was basically in agreement with me when I told him about the differences I noticed. Both my dr. and him recommended that I write everything down, instead of trying to keep it in my head. But damn, who wants to walk around with post-its and a pad every where.

Last night, I decided to watch “The Notebook” with my son and a friend. My sister has been talking about the movie for years, so I finally borrowed her copy to see what the hoopla was all about. I  wasn’t in the mood for a sappy love story but the three of us were laid out on the floor and couch with ice cream. By the end of the movie, it was hard for me to fight back the tears. I’m sure my friend thought to herself, “If this chick isn’t crying over this movie, she’s definitely hiding a pair of balls somewhere”. To see Allie, not being able to remember her husband and her family was the issue that tugged at me the most.

Before I went to sleep last night, I took out my favorite brown leather bound notebook and wrote random thoughts about the people who matter most to me in life.  I wrote about people who’s name I couldn’t exactly remember, but still had memories of their face. I wrote a letter that I’ll probably never give to the person it’s addressed to, but I needed to put the thoughts to paper. I don’t know if/when I’ll ever feel that my memory is back to 100%, but I refuse to let it get the best of me and my memories.

  1. December 18, 2008 - Reply

    There you go getting all sentimental. WTF, I wanted to see honkey bashing, but you go ahead and yank at the heart strings. lol
    Hope I was in that notebook…..we were like an International Foods coffee commercial. : ) lol

    • December 18, 2008 - Reply

      @Mikey Balls

      LMAO! You know! The minute I put on my serious hat, you gotta go and ruin it!
      JEAN LUC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      wait, you’re Italian…so it would be more like Jean LUCinni!!!!!!!

  2. December 18, 2008 - Reply

    HAHAHAHA……youtube Queen!
    Now I want flavored coffee.

  3. December 18, 2008 - Reply

    Oddly enough…I do understand to a degree. Due to my disorder (of which you’re already privy) I have short term memory loss. Walking into a room and forgetting what I’m there for is commonplace. I often forget what I said and what people told me. There is even a routine of sorts, to which when I forget what I’m in a room for my mom will tell me when she sees me standing there in a daze.
    I hope that you find something that can aide in reversing these effects. You always have me to talk to…if you can remember my name. LOL *I love you*

    • December 19, 2008 - Reply

      @Kiwi

      How would I ever forget your name! I see it constantly every day lol!
      Thanks for the words of encouragement as always! Mucho Besos!

  4. December 18, 2008 - Reply

    Damn I’m sorry you are going thru this. Hey maybe that writing excercise is the3 way to go. I saw a documentary where this guy lost his complete memory from an accident. He had to retrain his mind and writing is how he did it.
    Prescription drugs are a trip. I’ve been taking meds for a while now as you know. The part that I hate is the weight gain. That shit is depressing. And for me, thats a catch twenty two. I’d be damned if I go back on depression pills. That shit used to weird me out so I took myself off of them. Come to think about it…thats probably why I’m crazy.

    • December 19, 2008 - Reply

      @RiPPa

      Weight gain? Yeah, I couldnt’ deal with that..ironically my meds actually cause the complete opposite! Weight loss, but you know, some people would appreciate that, but earlier this spring & summer, the drastic amount that I loss was a bit too much for me…lol.
      You’re not crazy, you just play a crazy person on the internet lol

  5. December 19, 2008 - Reply

    Wow – such inspiration!

    • December 19, 2008 - Reply

      @darius T. Williams

      Thanks! I’m glad you enjoyed it!

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