A couple of months ago I received a health diagnosis that I’ll basically have to live with for the rest of my life. It’s not anything life threatening, but it definitely had it’s debilitating moments while I was undergoing my diagnosis. Now at the age of 30-something, I swear my medicine cabinet looks like it belongs to a senior citizen. I have pills for everything. Eventually, I got the issue under control with the medication and a change in my diet, but with all medications, there’s some sort of side effect.
I always prided myself on having a pretty impeccable memory. It was effortless for me to recall every teacher, starting from kindergarten, to college. It took nothing for me to remember a conversation from years ago, and even the details that led to the conversation. But unfortunately that’s slowly changing. When you read about the side effects of medication, you never think that you’ll become part of the small statistic of people who actually experience adverse side effects.
Not being able to remember little things is quite frustrating. I can literally walk into a room and not remember what I went in there for. Remembering a conversation from a week ago is a task. My son told me the other day that I sound like a broken record because I kept on asking him the same question even though he had answered already the same one earlier in the day.
One of the few people who have noticed these changes, besides my son, is HWSRN (he who shall remain nameless). With everyone else I’ve been able to laugh certain things off and just blame it on me having a ‘blond’ moment that day or just being tired. I remember (go figure) when he was basically in agreement with me when I told him about the differences I noticed. Both my dr. and him recommended that I write everything down, instead of trying to keep it in my head. But damn, who wants to walk around with post-its and a pad every where.
Last night, I decided to watch “The Notebook” with my son and a friend. My sister has been talking about the movie for years, so I finally borrowed her copy to see what the hoopla was all about. I wasn’t in the mood for a sappy love story but the three of us were laid out on the floor and couch with ice cream. By the end of the movie, it was hard for me to fight back the tears. I’m sure my friend thought to herself, “If this chick isn’t crying over this movie, she’s definitely hiding a pair of balls somewhere”. To see Allie, not being able to remember her husband and her family was the issue that tugged at me the most.
Before I went to sleep last night, I took out my favorite brown leather bound notebook and wrote random thoughts about the people who matter most to me in life. I wrote about people who’s name I couldn’t exactly remember, but still had memories of their face. I wrote a letter that I’ll probably never give to the person it’s addressed to, but I needed to put the thoughts to paper. I don’t know if/when I’ll ever feel that my memory is back to 100%, but I refuse to let it get the best of me and my memories.