Yesha Callahan

What’s So Lucky About A Potluck?

 

As the holiday season is upon us, many companies are starting to have their annual holiday parties. I miss the good old days when I attended parties thrown by huge corporations in NYC, like the Viacom & Time Warner annual parties. Since I’ve been here in Maryland, the parties are a little less of the pomp & circumstance. I do have a few parties that I’ll be attending with friends with their companies but today my office is having our department Potluck luncheon.

As irony would have it potluck rhymes with yuck.

Personally, the thought of eating food that came from certain individual’s houses that I work with seriously sickens me. I see how their etiquette is here in the office and I can only imagine what could go on in their kitchens.

Take for example my IT administrator, Doug. Doug is the embodiment of Santa Claus. Physically, he looks JUST like Old Saint Nick, down to the beard & pasty skin. He’s quite an interesting character to say the least. Doug LOVES to bring his homemade goodies into the office. On my first day at work, I was clearly warned NOT to eat Doug’s food and this was without having seen him. One day I happened to run into Doug and I clearly understood why. I didn’t understand why an adult had so many dirty stains and spots on his clothes. His nails were dirty and he smelled like spam. Needless to say, I never and will never eat anything Doug brings to the office.

Then there’s Vera. Vera loves to bake as well. But the difference between Doug and Vera, is that people actually like to eat her food. A few months back, Vera brought in some cupcakes she baked, which are pretty popular in the office. Everyone told me I should try one, so I went ahead and grabbed one and took it back to my office. As I’m eating the cupcake, I noticed a sliver glimmer inside of the chocolate cupcake. I almost puked when I realized it was a piece of dog hair!! See, Vera has a dog, and now from eating a cupcake with yorkie hair in it, I can only assume, he’s allowed to roam the kitchen freely!

When we started planning the potluck, I took the initiative to try to persuade people to take the easy way out and just buy something from the deli or a fast food place and bring it in. After I said that, I felt like a leper. Everyone looked at me as if I were crazy. At that point I knew I had to come up with a diversion plan. I basically appealed to the fact that it is the holiday season and no one should have to do anything unnecessary and time consuming and in the long run they’d benefit from not having the extra hassle.

This years potluck will include foot long subs from Subway, catered meals from Carolina Kitchen, and KFC! As long the food is not coming from Doug’s or Vera’s kitchen, I’m cool!

  1. December 19, 2008 - Reply

    Hysterical! Simply hysterical.

  2. December 19, 2008 - Reply

    I almost died when you said there was a dog hair in Vera’s cupcake…
    Folks with animals and dusty dirty folks should not be allowed to participate…
    You did the right thing girl!
    They should rename it from Potluck to Russian Roulette!

    • December 19, 2008 - Reply

      @DJ Diva

      LOL @ Russian Roulette!
      That’s exactly how I feel when people bring stuff into work…
      I forgot to mention Doug’s ‘special’ lasagna, yeah it’s special alright, you may need a special trip to the ER after you eat it!

  3. December 19, 2008 - Reply

    okay, my dogs roam the house freely, including the kitchen. I am however a fastidious house cleaner and no one has reported seeing dog hair in my food thank goodness. I totally feel you on the potluck fears. I’ll be attending one tomorrow night at a friends house who has two cats. You think dog hair is bad, try cat hair..it floats in the air! (lol) Anyhow, I’ll be bringing food from KFC because I know that will be safe. Did I mention it’s an international potluck? Pray for me.

    • December 19, 2008 - Reply

      @mzroz

      Ewww..I absolutely detest cats, and you’re right about the hair, it just flies around everywhere! Good luck at the potluck! I’ll say a silent prayer..lol

  4. December 19, 2008 - Reply

    LOL – I know EXACTLY what you mean about this. I don’t do other folks’ homes either…and I’m a cook – so you know I’m already critical about this type of ish – lol.

    • December 19, 2008 - Reply

      @darius T. Williams

      Darius, everytime I look at your page I get hungry and gain a pound..lol!

  5. December 19, 2008 - Reply

    And all this time I thought I was the only one. People think I am strange because I don’t eat every coworkers food who brings it in. What they don’t know is I see the ones who DONT wash their hands in the restroom. Or the guys who pick their noses. Granted, I am a bit of a germaphobe but I’d rather risk eating at KFC or Popeyes than from Suzie’s kitchen.
    Can’t do it!

    • December 19, 2008 - Reply

      @Mezzo_Soprano

      You are not alone!
      Ok, this is something I catch myself doing in the restroom. I look at the shoes of the people who walk out and who’s hands I don’t hear turning on the water! Just so I can make a mental note as to who doesn’t wash their hands!

  6. December 19, 2008 - Reply

    HAHA, I am mad you putting everyone’s name out there like that though! Too funny though…………

    • December 19, 2008 - Reply

      @Devone

      they will never know lol

  7. December 19, 2008 - Reply

    Potluck is only lucky if you know whose pot its coming from. PERIOD! LOL

    • December 19, 2008 - Reply

      @Kiwi

      ….and I’m still waiting for you to bake my cake. PERIOD..lol

  8. December 19, 2008 - Reply

    HUSH!

  9. December 23, 2008 - Reply

    Can you even cook woman??

    • December 23, 2008 - Reply

      @RiPPa

      HA! Yes, negro, I can cook!

  10. December 24, 2008 - Reply

    ok, FIRST, you change the way i look at bowling (germs!in! the! bowling! balls!–never gave it a single thought til u mentioned it), and NOW i’ll be giving potlucks the side-eye of dubiosity, henceforth. lol.

  11. December 24, 2008 - Reply

    LMAO!!! I feel your pain.

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