Yesha Callahan

The Hygienically Challenged

 

I’m picky and I’m stuck in my ways, I can admit that. There are certain things that I do systematically each night, and typically I’ll never forget to do these things (well unless large amounts of alcohol are involved). A few of these things have been ingrained in me since I was a kid. If they weren’t done before it was time for me to go to bed, my parents would not be pleased. I remember a few times when I was waken up out of my sleep only because they found out certain things weren’t done. Yes, my parents were drill sergeants, but they instilled a few things that I still follow to this day.

What you’re about to read may shock and amaze you.

I’m sure you won’t believe it once you find out what it is I’m referring to.

Ok, I’m sure the suspense is getting to you.

Ok. Come closer to the monitor so I can whisper it into your ear.

Every night before I go to bed, I make sure I brush my teeth and take a shower!!

Unbelievable isn’t it?

Yeah, I don’t find it to unbelievable either. If I’m not mistaken, I always thought people were supposed to do that. But a few times recently I’ve been proven wrong. I remember speaking to someone last week, and I asked them if they showered before they went to sleep at night. They said no. I was a little put aback. I’m just saying, after a long day out at work, in the environment, around germs, why would you not take a shower? Why would you get into a bed with a days worth of funk on you?

By all means, if I’m being too picky, let me know. But when I ask a man that question, and he tells me that he doesn’t take a shower before he goes to bed, all I can think to myself is, “You’re not getting your funky ass in my bed!” It’s a huge turn off and once I’m turned off, there’s no turning me back on.

So I’ve covered the fact that I feel people should shower before going to sleep.  I’m not sure about all of you, but I was taught that you’re supposed to brush your teeth before you go to bed as well. I have an ex, who shall remain nameless, who NEVER brushed his teeth before he went to sleep. I questioned him several times why wouldn’t he brush his teeth, and he gave me an answer that I would expect from a 3rd grader,

 “Well, when I wake up my mouth will have germs in it anyways…”

DEAD SILENCE

This was a 34 yr old man telling me this bullshit! So he thought after eating food, breathing in pollutants, he didn’t need to brush his teeth at night?  Eventually he learned that not brushing his teeth at night meant not kissing me either. He thought I was joking. So sorry for him, but I wasn’t.

Now, like I stated above, there are exceptions to the rules. Usually with me, those exceptions involve alcohol and/or heated moments of passion. I understand sometimes you can’t make it to the shower, especially when your tongue is already down someones mouth, but keep in mind a couples shower might stir up the passion even more!

Please tell me I’m not the only one with hygiene pet peeves? Maybe I really am OCD, as someone recently called me.

  1. August 26, 2008 - Reply

    I’m there with you DAWLING! If a man doesn’t wash his hand after he uses the bathroom, that a WRAP for me. I will listen patiently while he flushes the toilet and wait to hear him washing his hands. Sh*t, I was my hands before and after I use the bathroom…UGH…JUST NASTY!

    • August 26, 2008 - Reply

      @Yashieka - The Big Foot Chica

      Well you know the ‘ex’ I’m referring to, that didn’t brush their teeth…why the hell was he anal with other things..I’m like you’re a walking oxymoron!

  2. August 26, 2008 - Reply

    I have to shower before I go to bed I can’t sleep if I’m dirty and I have to shower in the morning because who wants to smell like sleep ( the way you smell when you get up) ok, I will admit that that is OCD. Anyhoo, my ex he would shower at night but wouldn’t shower in the morning his rational was that he was still clean when he woke up. No Boo Boo you smell like a bed! I have a long list of OCD tendencies but I embrace them 🙂

    • August 26, 2008 - Reply

      @Rena

      See we are seeing eye to eye!
      I have to shower when I wake up as well! You are not still clean when you wake up…lol! The best sleep you can have is right after a warm shower!

  3. August 26, 2008 - Reply

    LOL! So funny, yet so true. I mean sometimes I’ll jump in my bed at night without showering, but like you said, I’ll be damned if I let somebody else do it!! Hell to the naw! And brushing your teeth is a must before bed. Do you know how many food particles sit on your teeth at night eating away at the surface of your teeth and embedding itself in your gums–eeewwwww, I have to brush my teeth at the thought! The other thing that completely turns me off—dirty dishes!! I’m sorry, just can’t do it!!!! Crazy, I know. It appears that we all have our pet peeves.

    • August 27, 2008 - Reply

      @Blake

      Can you say, gum disease? LOL! These are the basic fundamentals you learn as a kid, I’m not sure were the disconnect comes from with some people as they reach adulthood.

  4. August 27, 2008 - Reply

    Have you even met guys?
    Brushing your teeth, of course, but going to sleep?
    One of the joys of mahood is the lack of need for maintenance. No layers of makeup to scrape off, no excess jewelry to remove, no special hair rituals.
    The male rule of thumb is you get “ready” before you do something, ya know, shower before you go to work, practice before the game, study before the test…sleep is not doing anything. It is when you stop doinf everything… no preperation needed.
    Now any guy of value will have done the showering and upkeep right before heading out on a date or on the town, so by the time you are getting worried, all the funk on him most likely came from you anyways.

    • August 27, 2008 - Reply

      @Dalyn

      I’ve only come across a few ‘dirty’ men, and those are the ones I speak of..thankfully the others I’ve come across aren’t hygienically challenged and take pride in maintaining proper hygiene. If a man does enough just to ‘get by’, by only brushing their teeth once, or showering ‘occasionally’, so but, it’s not good enough for me.
      Also, I’m not talking about only doing the upkeep on dates, etc..etc..This is a 365 day a week process…and it’s unlikely the funk came from me, but that was a cute notion 🙂

  5. August 27, 2008 - Reply

    I want to at least wash my face and brush my teeth (or at rinse) before bed….do I? No. I don’t think it’s an OCD though. (And you can look at me cross-eyed all ya want…I don’t care. I’m clean when I leave the house)

    • August 28, 2008 - Reply

      @Ani

      I’m not going to look at your cross-eyed..lol!

  6. August 27, 2008 - Reply

    thats not being picky – its being clean

    • August 28, 2008 - Reply

      @rawdawgbuffalo

      i’m glad you get it..lol

  7. August 27, 2008 - Reply

    I thought everybody did it. Every now and then though will run across a guy who doesn’t so you know he gets no “special” love from me.

    • August 28, 2008 - Reply

      @ConfessionsofaSBW

      LOL @ no ‘special’ love! You hit the nail on the head with that one.

  8. August 27, 2008 - Reply

    Giiiiirl…you are not the only one! I think we may have been separated at birth, LOL. Everyone that knows me well knows that I don’t get in my bed dirty. All of my ex-boyfriends know it and my friends.
    I remember when I was going to celebrate the end of a semester and planned on getting pissy, I texted my boyfriend to tell him “Make sure I wrap my hair and make sure I don’t get in my bed DIRTY!!” lol I don’t play about dirty sheets, UGH…it’s making my skin crawl just thinking about it. Sorry about this long post, but u just hit a nerve. I thought I was the only one, cuz everyone else around me used to make me feel like I had OCD 🙂

    • August 28, 2008 - Reply

      @Mimi

      You are not alone! LOL! I’m not even going to claim that “OCD” title…I do what I do…either you go along with it, and wash your ass before you get into my bed..or you just have to find someone else’s bed to get into..lol

  9. August 28, 2008 - Reply

    I go to kickboxing, my son plays football and my daughter plays with her friends! Everyone in our house takes a shower and/or bath at night before jumping into a clean bed (I change the sheets and sprinkle baby powder in the beds every day). And yes, the “shower at night” came from my parents. I don’t let anyone spend the night at my house but it sounds like you guys have had to deal with some yucky men! (Before you say it, yes, I know that is the main reason why I am single but can we save that for another post??)

    • August 30, 2008 - Reply

      @Joede

      Yes, that will be another post…lol
      I might have to try the baby powder thing, I do remember my grandmother doing that when I was a kid!

      • August 31, 2008 - Reply

        @[fung'ke] [blak] [chik]

        Hey, hey, now! I’m sure your grandmother is a beautiful lady but did you have to remind me that I’m old??!! 😉

  10. August 28, 2008 - Reply

    Shit, I once had a friend tell me that her mother taught her that she didn’t need to shower everyday. She said her mother told her she only needs to shower every other day. Now beat that!

    • August 30, 2008 - Reply

      @Glennisha

      Hmmm..I’m hoping for your friend’s sake, that she’s learned otherwise..lol

  11. August 29, 2008 - Reply

    My 14-year-old cousin stayed with me for a month, and that child was way beyond hygienically challenged. She smelled like fish every day. I use to make her take no less than two showers a day. Women especially need to be nice and fresh. And I’ve noticed while in public restrooms so women don’t wash their hands. NASTY!

    • August 30, 2008 - Reply

      @Toni

      I make sure I’ve taken note of the women who don’t wash their hands, especially when I work with a bunch of people who are always bringing in food from home and trying to share it with everyone! I already know who not to eat from..lol

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