Yesha Callahan

I Hate Facebook

Once I graduated high school there were only a handful of people I kept in contact with. They included my best friend that I’ve had since 8th grade, a friend that would end up being my roommate for my first couple of years at Rutgers University and a mutual friend we both had. Besides that, I figured once I graduated high school, if I didn’t feel the need to keep in touch with you, then au revoir to you.

So last year, I was introduced to Facebook. I really didn’t keep track of the page much, some of my contacts were coworkers, a few people from the DC area and my best friend. I was a little incognito on the page as well. I hated the fact that your last name was displayed on your profile, but eventually I figured out a way around that. I just spelled my first name backyards and used that as my last name, even though it was rejected twice, eventually they accepted it.

A few days ago I signed into my account and there were about 22 friend requests. I scrolled through the names and couldn’t believe that all of them were from high school. At first I was confused how they found me, because I didn’t have any high school information listed on my profile, but then I realized they found me through my best friend’s page.

Out of the 22 people, 19 of them were people who I didn’t associate with in high school.

So why would I want to associate with you now?  Hence, why I hate Facebook.

What’s truly funny, a few of these people emailed me as if we were friends in high school.  I truly didn’t hang out with many of these people because I wasn’t interested. I had a very small circle of friends, and it didn’t include the drama kings/queens who found me on Facebook. I was pretty popular in high school, but I wasn’t like them. They were the crowd who felt they were better than others who didn’t have what they had, i.e, cars & money. Back then, with that group, I was considered an outcast because they saw how well known I was because of my academic and athletic activities, but I still didn’t want to be bothered with them.

So I spent a few minutes yesterday deleting invites and practically shutting down my profile. My status now states, “If I knew you back then and didn’t want to be bothered, what makes you think times have changed?”. Yes, it may sound a little harsh, but such is life.

Have you come across people via Facebook or Myspace from your past that you didn’t care to have any contact with?

  1. August 13, 2008 - Reply

    Wow, does this post hit home or what? When facebook first started, it was for college students only, so I got a profile a little bit after receiving my acceptance letter to my college (cuz you needed your college email to register). Some genius thought it would be a good idea to open it up to high schoolers, and then next thing you know, everybody and their mama got a facebook.
    I had to remove myself from my high school’s network because I didn’t feel like being bothered with the fakes and phonies of past days. Plus I didn’t want little kids I knew nothing about having access to my profile.
    On another note, I don’t usually accept requests from random people I don’t know/don’t like. I was without the internet for a week, and when I signed on, I had 5 friend requests, one from a female I absolutely abhor, and I still haven’t accepted it. Pssht!

    • August 13, 2008 - Reply

      @Shy

      What I really hate is the “people you may know” menu that shows up on your homepage..lol

  2. August 13, 2008 - Reply

    Ohmigooodness, I loathe Facebook. It used to be the thing when I was in college but now it has become a “lemme show off in my status messages” kind of website. I can’t deal with the foolery. And how you gon add me but we had only one class together? I don’t know you! Haha, I don’t get it.

    • August 13, 2008 - Reply

      @Brittany

      I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks so ‘highly’ of it! I received a few emails today about my status, thank god for ‘delete’.

  3. August 13, 2008 - Reply

    Hey girlie! Hope your week is going well. I totally agree with you. I haven’t had this experience with Facebook or MySpace but another site that could potentially attract acquaintances (I use that word lightly) is classmates.com. I signed up for the site a couple of years ago and all of a sudden people are signing my “guestbook”. I haven’t signed up for the option that allows you to view them yet. There may be a couple of people I’d really like to catch up with but that probably won’t happen anyway. I have a Facebook account but realized I just need to stick with email after noticing that my 18-year-old niece has 200+ friends…compared to the 5 that I have…lol.

    • August 13, 2008 - Reply

      @CurvyGurl

      Ohhh I totally forgot about that site! I had a profile there a few years ago, and ran after I saw all the people I didn’t want to be contacted by. I swear, even though my senior class had about 980 students, about 90% of them were on that site!!

  4. August 13, 2008 - Reply

    Have you checked out the SisterLicious application? You can post your favorite articles from the web for other women to view. They can vote for the ones they like and they move up on the list. Its facebook’s redeeming quality

    • August 14, 2008 - Reply

      @LeNoir

      You do have a point there, I didn’t know about that until a few months ago, when I started getting traffic to my blog from facebook and then I saw someone posted a few of my articles there.

  5. August 13, 2008 - Reply

    I think Facebook was okay when it was just college students and alumni. THe problem I’m starting to have with it, Mysapce, BlackPlanet (I know, I went back) is all the extra stuff that they added. Like applications… just another way to spam. I could care less that you decided to play Mafia Wars, Pet the Dog, or I Luv Nader! I don’t want to join!

    • August 14, 2008 - Reply

      @Sabrina

      OHH some of those apps are annoying. For real, what’s the point in sending drinks, flowers, etc..etc.. or taking movie quizzes??

  6. August 14, 2008 - Reply

    I just got on Facebook about a month ago (mainly as a networking tool, don’t be surprised if you see a friend request from me). The only thing that may eventually become a problem for me is getting friend requests from a “friend of a friend”…especially if I don’t think I will have anything at all in common with them.

    • August 15, 2008 - Reply

      @ToniATL

      That’s if you can find me there 😉
      I’ve basically shut down the whole page so far..lol

  7. August 14, 2008 - Reply

    At one time I was thinking about setting up a MySpace page or a Facebook page but than I started to think…if we didn’t associate in high school or collage why would I bother to talk to you now? So, needless to say I have not set up anything on either site.

    • August 15, 2008 - Reply

      @Rena

      Alot of my younger cousins are on myspace, so I like to keep an eye on them there…and report back to my aunt my findings..lol

  8. August 14, 2008 - Reply

    “so and so just sent you a vampire bite” who cares! hahah i hate most apps…

    • August 15, 2008 - Reply

      @LeNoir

      E X A C T L Y!

  9. August 17, 2008 - Reply

    …and to think I thought I was the only one who felt this way about ALL of these social networks!

  10. August 17, 2008 - Reply

    I am a Facebook junkie, but I too hate the things you’ve mentioned.
    I had a friend from 6th-9th grades, but she was very toxic towards me. When she transferred to a different school I thought it would’ve been “good riddance.”
    Some time last year, I find a friend request from her. I decline it. A month after that she requests me again. I decline it again. She tries again a third time and I was about to send her a message saying that I wanted nothing to do with her, but then I noticed there’s a section where you can block a user from contacting you. I did that and haven’t heard from her since. Good.
    Another problem I had was the random guys trying to “holla” at me. I had a guy who went to my college—but who I didn’t know—message me and try to befriend me. I sent him a message saying “I don’t know you!” and he left me alone.
    I also found out there are a lot of good privacy filters on there. I set pretty much everything on my page to “friends only,” if I befriend someone on there who’s an acquaintance but not a close friend I put them on the “limited profile” list (so they can’t see everything on my page), and I also have it set where no one can randomly search for me or befriend me. If someone on there wants to be my friend, they’d have to message me so I can Facebook befriend them.
    If it weren’t for those privacy tools, I would’ve given up on Facebook (like I did MySpace, which I thought got too childish for my tastes) a long time ago.

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