Yesha Callahan

DC Snobs & Strippers Without Poles

dc-maryland

I truly think if my week started out on Tuesdays, it would be a lot better. Every Monday for the past few weeks, I’ve laid in bed past my normal wake up time of  5:30 a.m. I give myself an extra half hour of contemplation time. Contemplation time usually consists of me contemplating whether or not I’m going to actually get out of bed and head into the office. Unfortunately, for the past couple of weeks, me in an office on a Monday, just hasn’t happened. So as I’m laying here right now in my bed, it looks as though I’m not making it in this Monday either.

I can’t say I had the most exciting weekend to wrap up my month long birthday celebration. I was supposed to spend it visiting friends in NYC and NJ, but didn’t make it up there. I feel bad because I haven’t been home in almost 3 years, but before the Fall is over with, I’d like to make at least one trip up there. So my weekend was spent here at home in the DC area. Friday night a group of friends & I made our way to the POV Roof Terrace & Lounge at the newly opened W Hotel in DC.  If you’re the type that enjoys paying for over priced drinks & tapas, and have the need to be ‘seen’ shoulder to shoulder with some of the most influential people in DC, then it’s definitely the place to be, otherwise, you’d probably be bored out of your mind like I was. The one highlight was the 60+ year old white guy, who definitely had an affinity for black women. I knew he wasn’t from the DC area with his New England accent, so when my girlfriends and I asked him where he was from, we heard one of the best pick up lines that night. He replied, “From your wildest fantasies”. Yeah, too bad you’re about 30 years to late old geezer, is what I thought to myself.

After leaving POV, we decided to make our way to our usual stomping grounds of U Street. Being that one of my friends had a younger out of town visitor, we had to find a lounge that would let him in with his baggy jean attire. Eventually we found one, and had a few drinks there, before heading to Ben’s Chili Bowl for a late night snack. At that point, not only was I pissed because somehow I got stuck with the $130 tab (bitches), but I didn’t drive my own car and they decided the next place they wanted to head to was The Penthouse strip club on Georgia Avenue. This was definitely a FML moment. I did not want to spend the rest of my night in some ghetto ass strip club with vagina all up in my face.

As I walked into the strip club, it was everything I thought it would be and more, unfortunately. This was not my first time at a strip club, but I’m used to a more higher class establishment, it’s the bourgie in me I suppose. Of course the guys we were with just had to find the table that was front and center and provided a good view. Yeah, it provided a good view of stretch mark laced tattoos on the bullet wound looking dancers. After I sat there for a few minutes, I noticed that there weren’t any poles in this strip club. What’s a strip club without poles? Why were the women grinding on dirty blankets & throw rugs? Can you say coochie rug burn? This strip club is the epitome of HOOD. Never, ever, ever again will I step foot into it.

That was my weekend in a nutshell. The end of my month long birthday celebration.  I’ll relish in the moments of my St. Thomas trip, and the weekend before this past one, because I truly could have done without the festivities of this one, minus a few details that I won’t divulge here. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll be in a mood to actually leave the house and go to work, today, I’m content with movies and ice cream with peace and quiet.

  1. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    LOL!!! Sadly, I know that place…MSP lives a block from there!

  2. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    I never ever want to know it again! Ugh!

  3. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    I took some out of town friends there last year and they too were baffled by the absence of poles. I just shrugged, although I did find it endlessly funny how the dancers carried much of their tips off stage after their sets wrapped up in those lil' dusty throw blankets of theirs!! LMAO

  4. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    While I was there I was tweeting with @realifecitygirl and she also made mention of the lack of poles! All I wanted to say was, “Where dey do dat at?”..lol..well apparently at The Penthouse. Strippers walking around looking like Linus with their dirty blankets!

  5. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    It's official. We ARE in a damn recession when the Strip clubs don't have no damn poles in em'. If they NEVER had em' in there, they just some cheap ass bastids. Hell, even the HOODEST strip clubs have some POLES in em'…even if they have to make the damn things themselves.

  6. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    i was also struck by the lack of poles. but mostly, i was confused at the winne the pooh blankets and the fact that men didn't even notice the blankets till i brought it to their attention.

  7. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    I've heard about this strip club and I'm torn between going to prove the madness I keep hearing about does exist and staying far far far far far far away.

    DC night life, on the whole I've decided, is for tourists. I realize I may be in the minority on that one.

  8. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    Wow, wow, wow, wow… skrippas on rugs… I am officially DONE!!!!! DEAD and gone…

  9. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    lol! A strip club with no poles? Grinding on rugs?!

    Sounds like part two to your “Hangover” post…

    You sure you weren't in Detroit? I've been to – I mean, I heard about a place like that back home.

  10. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    Wow, that's ree-got-damn-dick-ulous! No poles, huh? I guess what would really top it off is if they did a Shug Avery and rubbed the throws between their thighs while doing the dirty grind. LMAO Can you say BURN baby burn!

    btw…that sounds like some homeless ish…some chick dancing like Stewie on a rug while people pass by and throw wooden nickels at her.

    <img src=”http://dl10.glitter-graphics.net/pub/266/266910hsq8a1g8xw.gif” width=100 height=80 border=0>

  11. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    I've asked other ppl and they said they've been to clubs without the poles..I'm like WTF..lol!

  12. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    LMAO @ winnie the pooh blankets!

    They brought their children's blankets from home to dance on! lol

  13. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    Believe me, you do not need to go! Don't do it to yourself.

    There are a couple of places in DC that aren't too touristy…but I think as a whole, it's worst in the summer.

  14. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    I was waiting for someone to bring out a bearskin lol

  15. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    it was definitely part 2! there will not be a part 3.

  16. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    LOL @ Shug Avery!

  17. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    Give a whole new meaning to “Juicy Couture” LOL

  18. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    What, they didnt bring their purses onto the stage with them? Everytime Ive been there, each stripper had their purse on stage with them. I guess securitys not too tight in there, lol.

    PS – I liked your old format better.
    🙁

    L

  19. August 24, 2009 - Reply

    lol! A strip club with no poles? Grinding on rugs?!

    Sounds like part two to your “Hangover” post…

    You sure you weren't in Detroit? I've been to – I mean, I heard about a place like that back home.

  20. August 25, 2009 - Reply

    Wow, that's ree-got-damn-dick-ulous! No poles, huh? I guess what would really top it off is if they did a Shug Avery and rubbed the throws between their thighs while doing the dirty grind. LMAO Can you say BURN baby burn!

  21. August 25, 2009 - Reply

    I've asked other ppl and they said they've been to clubs without the poles..I'm like WTF..lol!

  22. August 25, 2009 - Reply

    LMAO @ winnie the pooh blankets!

    They brought their children's blankets from home to dance on! lol

  23. August 25, 2009 - Reply

    Believe me, you do not need to go! Don't do it to yourself.

    There are a couple of places in DC that aren't too touristy…but I think as a whole, it's worst in the summer.

  24. August 25, 2009 - Reply

    I was waiting for someone to bring out a bearskin lol

  25. August 25, 2009 - Reply

    it was definitely part 2! there will not be a part 3.

  26. August 25, 2009 - Reply

    LOL @ Shug Avery!

  27. August 25, 2009 - Reply

    Give a whole new meaning to “Juicy Couture” LOL

  28. August 25, 2009 - Reply

    What, they didnt bring their purses onto the stage with them? Everytime Ive been there, each stripper had their purse on stage with them. I guess securitys not too tight in there, lol.

    PS – I liked your old format better.
    🙁

    L

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: