There weren’t too many highlights of last nights AMA Awards. I blinked before I could miss J-Lo bust her ass. Rihanna, looked as though she was either supposed to be a straight jacket wearing mummy, or wrapped in gauze, either way she sounded like a billy goat in heat. It seemed as though Shakira enlisted the National Pan-Hellenic Council for her step dance routine, but I still can’t understand one word she’s sung. Jermaine and his JER-whateverthefuckhenamedthosekids showed up to accept an award on MJ’s behalf, but all I could notice was the excessive use of Dax hair grease, the Exxon Valdez oil spill has nothing on Jermaine Jackson’s greasy coif. Kanye fucked up Michael Jackson’s chances of receiving Album of The Year, and it ended up going to Taylor Swift. I’m also convinced, that minus about 100 lbs, Kelly Clarkson could be the missing Olsen twin, well triplet.
More important than anything that occurred at the AMA Awards, to me at least, was Adam Lambert’s guyliner! I was literally in awe when I saw his eye make-up! I can’t pinpoint who was the first man to start wearing eyeliner, but I’m sure it was probably happening way before Boy George, but Adam Lambert has perfected it. I think Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day could use a few pointers from Adam.
I’m pretty sure Adam takes meticulous pride in perfecting his guyliner, which is something I can’t say that I do. I’m usually the one swift stroke across the upper lid and I’m done. I swear tonight I’m going to go home & practice my eyeliner techniques in hopes of getting the “Glambert Eye”.
Oh, and there’s some hoopla over him kissing a guy during his performance. I blinked and missed that also.