Yesha Callahan

We Love The Wades, But This Party Of Five Charade Has To Stop

Around this time of year two years ago we found out Dwyane Wade had become a father again. The scandal was that the mother of the child wasn’t the girlfriend he had just proposed to, Gabrielle Union, but a woman in which he had an intimate relationship with while he and Gabby were on a break. Hence the sad moniker Dwyane’s youngest son has been given of “break baby.”

As much as I detest that label, I’m not surprised it’s stuck. It’s the only thing we know to call the two-year old (whose name is Xavier, by the way) because since Dwyane made mention of the “blessing” born out of the pain and hurt he and his now wife were going through at the time, we haven’t heard about the toddler, much less seen him in the presence of his father and step-mother.

What we have seen, time and time again, however, is this image of the Wade-Unions as a quintet made up of Dwyane, Gabrielle, Zion, Zaire, and Dahveon, Dwayne’s nephew who he’s taken in like a son. On one hand I get it, the circumstances under which this child were born were awkward, and considering how long it took for people to stop looking at Gabby like a homewrecker under the cloud of the Shiovaughn Funches-Wade drama that hung over their relationship for so long, I can see how they don’t want to be haunted by yet another scandal. However, a baby isn’t like a rumor you can deny. Obviously you can pretend like it doesn’t exist, which these two are doing a fine job of, but that doesn’t mean the child goes away in actuality. And as Xavier grows and starts to witness some of these family moments he’s so obviously excluded from, I can guarantee he’s going to have some questions and the emotions surrounding that inquisition are not going to be pretty.

Now I don’t know what sort of arrangement Dwyane and Xavier’s mother, Aja, have about their child being in the public eye, but there’s a difference between maintaining a child’s privacy and not acknowledging their existence in any way, shape, or form. There seems to be an intentional emphasis on Dwyane, Gabby, and the three boys as a party of five. Take for instance, the holiday photo shoot the couple put out of “The Wade 5.” Now sure, it’s a play on The Jackson 5 so the name makes sense, but when you’re actually a family of six you either pic a new theme or someone has to be Randy, the unofficial sixth member of The Jacksons.

This isn’t the first time the newlywed’s familial math didn’t quite add up. This summer, Gabby appeared in a #HowWeFamily campaign for Tylenol and within the first second of the video she states proudly, “There are five of us Wade-Unions: Zion, Zaire, Dahveon, Dwyane, and Gabrielle,” and goes on to talk about being a step-parent to three boys. So one might conclude how the Wade-Unions family is by putting up a façade of perfection and sending a clear message to the youngest Wade: you can’t sit with us. Or be in our wedding pictures (if he was at the wedding at all), or appear in our family Christmas card, or participate in any other activity under the umbrella of family because we don’t acknowledge you as such.

Now again, what goes on behind closed doors is a mystery to the general public, but what goes on on social media and in ad campaigns thus far has been unsettling. I can’t imagine how Gabby must’ve felt when she learned Dwyane had impregnated another woman on the side, particularly as a woman without biological children of her own. But if the anger, resentment, disillusionment — whatever — is so ripe two years later that neither she nor Dwyane can even utter Xavier’s name in public then she had no business marrying that man because, though it may not be obvious to her, or us for that matter, the “break baby” and all the hurt he was born out of come with the ring.

During the one and only time Dwyane spoke on Xavier to the Sun-Sentinal he said:

“I’ve got a chance to see him. You know me. I’m involved in my kids’ lives. When my kids were living at home with me, or wasn’t living at home with me, I tried to do everything I could to see them. Obviously I got custody of them for different reasons, but nothing changes with my life.”

Perhaps that last statement is the problem because once Xavier came into existence Dwyane’s life should have changed — his wife’s most certainly did. She even had to answer for him and defend his actions during an ill-timed media circuit when, instead, she should’ve been talking about her hit TV show. The pro athlete has always had a strong reputation as a stand-up father — he even wrote a book about it — and taking in a nephew and raising him as his own speaks volumes about his character. But so does the way in which Xavier is omitted from his public family narrative. And no, Dwyane and Gabby don’t have to answer to us, although transparency would be much appreciated since they’re pretty hellbent on shoving this image of a family of five down our throats. More important, however, is the little boy who’s going to grow up and wonder where’s his number, why wasn’t he in these photos, where’s the mention of his name, where is his picture under #TheWades hashtag? How is Dwyane going to answer to that?

  1. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    Love that they put afros on the dogs too, so adorable.

    • December 28, 2015 - Reply

      @vintage3000

      Hey Vintage, I had to lol at your comment. I like how you bypassed the main crux of the article. My sentiments exactly lol.

      I mean, I feel it is a reach. I totally get the author’s concern, since I have a niece in a similar situation. But the public, as much as we stay in folks’ business, don’t really know the tea, so who are we to question how they “family.”

      • December 28, 2015 - Reply

        @eLLe D.

        “I like how you bypassed the main crux of the article. My sentiments exactly…”

        Cosign!

        I stopped reading the article and went to LUVing and lol @ the Afro(ed) canine.

        • December 28, 2015 - Reply

          @RaiseTheBar

          LOL!

      • December 28, 2015 - Reply

        @eLLe D.

        Because obviously being “adorable” is more important than the point of the article.

        • December 28, 2015 - Reply

          @G

          Sounds like you missed my point.

      • December 28, 2015 - Reply

        @eLLe D.

        ITA, but I do not believe the author is concerned about this child at all. I have never heard the term “break baby” until this foul article, and as bluelight stated this concern trolling is transparent.

        • December 28, 2015 - Reply

          @vintage3000

          True.

          • December 28, 2015 - Reply

            @eLLe D.

            Right on.

            • December 28, 2015 - Reply

              @truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

              Good Eve Brother T. Hope your Holiday was blessed.

              • December 28, 2015 - Reply

                @eLLe D.

                Good Evening Sister elle D. Yes, my Holiday season was great. I just ate some collard greens, so it is a blessed Day.

                I hope that your Holiday is blessed as well.

                • December 28, 2015 - Reply

                  @truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

                  So good to hear. I wish I had more leftovers! What is this about the Tamir Rice case?!!! Be back shortly…

                  • December 28, 2015 - Reply

                    @eLLe D.

                    Leftovers are the bomb. 🙂 The Tamir Rice case is truly a tragedy. It is sad that we aren’t surprised at the injustice of no cops being charged. The family of Tamir Rice is experiencing unspeakable pain and heartache. We send prayers and solidarity to the family of Tamir Rice also.

                    • December 28, 2015 - Reply

                      @truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

                      Brother T, it is truly devastating, it is like we live in a bizarro world where up is down and down is up. SMH.

                      • December 28, 2015 - Reply

                        @eLLe D.

                        It is like some people want to ignore the human dignity of a black child. No human being should be treated as a second class citizen. I agree with you Sister. A radical change is needed.

                        • December 28, 2015 - Reply

                          @truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

                          You are right, and the time for radical change is now. Between the morally and legally corrupt, lazy-do-nothing congress, the 1%ers and their paid shills, the media propaganda machine, I mean what really are we to do to get folk to stay woke and ACT?! I just….no words sometimes.

                          • December 28, 2015 - Reply

                            @eLLe D.

                            You’re right Sister. I do believe we should mobilize and organize in helping our communities. The Cleveland police Department is known to have police brutality problems. The cops didn’t have cross examination at all. The prosecution used the grand jury to issue a whitewash. The prosecution and cops readily ally as one. This is an outrage.

                            • December 28, 2015 - Reply

                              @truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

                              We also need the FEDS to STEP the hell up and DO SOMETHING for a change. Have they tried anyone?! Maybe the fool who shot the members of Mother Emmanuel. Maybe.

                              • December 28, 2015

                                @eLLe D.

                                All levels of government should be involved in doing something indeed Sister. The murderer of nine innocent black people in South Carolina is being prosecuted. The cops who murdered Tamir Rice should be prosecuted. The evil actions of crooked cops is why cynicism is common in our society. We are near 2020 and we are reminded how far we have to go.

                              • December 28, 2015

                                @truthseeker2436577@yahoo.com

                                Indeed Brother T. SMH. Good night.

                              • December 28, 2015

                                @eLLe D.

                                Goodnight Sister elle D.

        • December 31, 2015 - Reply

          @vintage3000

          “break baby” is a really gross term imo.

    • December 28, 2015 - Reply

      @vintage3000

      Love the deflection Vintage!

      • December 28, 2015 - Reply

        @FragranceObsessed

        Me too ?

      • December 28, 2015 - Reply

        @FragranceObsessed

        Thank you Fragrance. I always like to see happy Black families with their furbabies, the jheri curl afros on the pooches are an added plus-lol

        • December 28, 2015 - Reply

          @vintage3000

          Amen.

    • December 29, 2015 - Reply

      @vintage3000

      Lol I didn’t even notice the dogs with fros until you said something. Good eye Vintage

  2. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    Maybe Aja doesn’t want her son in the media. Maybe D Wade keeps Xavier out of everything because Gabrielle doesn’t like it. If Aja doesn’t want him included, that’s her prerogative. If I was Gabrielle, honestly, I wouldn’t embrace that child due to the circumstances. But if D Wade really wants to include that child, he would.

    • December 28, 2015 - Reply

      @yoda

      Really????so you would punish an innocent child who had no say who its parents are or how it came into the world….it’s not his fault how and when he was conceived….that’s sick…Gabby took him back….so why not accept the boy?.If she hasnt accepted him……….re…Gabby not embracing her husband’s kid.

      • December 29, 2015 - Reply

        @lis

        I can see both of y’all points, like it or not a baby is a hard thing to swallow when you are cheated on or on break or whatever their situation was so Gabby isn’t acting out of the normal here with her feelings, just like Wade’s ex-wife wasn’t acting out of the normal with Gabby playing step mom to her children despite their VERY messy situation. However, I do agree that if she can’t honestly accept ALL of his children then she shouldn’t have married him. They child isn’t going to cease to exist just because she doesn’t want to accept him if that is the case.

      • December 29, 2015 - Reply

        @lis

        I personally would not marry a man with any children let alone a baby conceived during a so called break. Gabrielle doesn’t have to accept that kid, it’s not required. Obviously if Dwyane wanted her to, she would but how do you know he doesn’t even want the kid???

  3. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    I personally like Gabrielle as an actress & public figure. But I gave both her & Dwayne the side eye when that mess with his ex was going on. Did Gabby cheat with Wade? Nobody knows but God. But basically throwing your relationship with another woman’s husband and kids in her face was highly insensitive. I get that everyone is an adult and sh*t happens, but they could have handled Dawyne’s divorce with more grace.

    Now the chickens have come home to roost: while on an alleged break, Dwayne slept with someone else without protection & knocked her up. “Break” my ass. TMZ and a whole slew of legitimate & tabloid publications figured things out–they were still a couple when the babymaking occured.

    This situation reminds me of Sandra Bullock and her ex, Jesse James. When he was going through his divorce with his ex and fighting for custody, Sandra was all over the press with his kids, calling them her kids and basically putting his ex down in so many words in court. There were tons of pics of the little family smiling and Sandra was basically touting herself as stepmom of the year. But like Gabby, she found out her man wasn’t the stand up guy he presented himself to be and all the dirt came out.

    When you pretend to have the perfect life and flaunt it in the faces of people who you think are beneath you, you get found out.

    Anyway, I’m sure Xavier isn’t in family photos, at least not in the public ones because Gabby insisted on that. Having him in a public photo is probably too much of a reminder of Dwayne’s betrayal. She made sure to count the family as having 5 members. That wasn’t an accident. I’m sure somewhere Dwayne’s ex is like, “Told you he was no good.”

  4. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    Love the afo wigs.

  5. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    D and Gabby don’t owe us an explanation at all as to why the other baby was not included in their afro photo.

    • December 28, 2015 - Reply

      @FragranceObsessed

      Thank you my sentiments exactly.

  6. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    You shouldn’t have put those pics! They are distracting and ADORABLE!!! I love the fros also LOL. I wish I could do something like this with my family. It’s super cheesy but I bet they had a ton of fun dressing up and taking pics.

  7. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    The Jackson Family circa 1970.

    • December 28, 2015 - Reply

      @Mary Burrell

      It does have that similarity.

  8. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    “And no, Dwyane and Gabby don’t have to answer to us…”
    Precisely. NEXT!!

  9. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    I have looked at multiple points of views. Here are my thoughts. You know what I’m going to type. LOL. 🙂 The article raised some legitimate questions about Xavier that people have the right to ask. Yet, the section of the article mentioning, “particularly as a woman without biological children of her own” is a section that I think was a low blow and has nothing to do with the issue of child raising or infidelity.

    Gabrielle Union’s biological clock shouldn’t be raised in this issue. I do believe that the couple should acknowledge Xavier more often as Dwayne Wade’s son. I do hope for that. I don’t believe that the family of Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union wanted to present themselves in the aura of “perfection.” They wanted to have fun during the holiday season and they are entitled to wear Afros to celebrate black culture and human creativity in general. The Jackson 5 was a classic group with a lot of soul and great talent. There is no justification for any mistakes made by Dwayne Wade, but Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade has discussed about this issue and they are entitled to move on with their lives. They are celebrities, so they will be critiqued. They should expect that and they are used to it. Also, the family doesn’t have to follow our commands. By and large, the photos are great.

    The canines having Afros is just hilarious. I wish the best for the couple. Black Love is truly beautiful.

  10. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    I don’t see the story here. There are all kinds of families with all kinds of issues – Wades are no different. I really don’t appreciate people trying to create an issue where there isn’t one. There are more important things to write about.

    • December 28, 2015 - Reply

      @mbeezy

      Exactly Sister.

    • December 28, 2015 - Reply

      @mbeezy

      Here! Here!

  11. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    This article sounds like concern trolling.

    Too much other important life or death matters going on now, like the fact that the two human slugs that murdered Tamir Rice were NOT charged by the grand jury and the prosecutor, after intentionally botching the case, has announced there will be no charges.

    • December 28, 2015 - Reply

      @bluelight74

      Not to mention the travesty of justice in the Sandra Bland case. That is just reprehensible. And the Tamir Rice case.

    • December 28, 2015 - Reply

      @bluelight74

      ‘Concern trolling’ ?? will steal this term for 2016. And you are right.

  12. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    Wow. This writer is passing a whole lot of judgment and making some excessive assumptions about people we don’t know and probably never will know. We don’t know what has gone down between Dwade, Gabby and Aja or why the child isn’t included in pictures on social media (because that’s soooooooo important). But why do we have to assume the worst? I remember people on IG calling out Gabby for not including Xavier in the wedding pics. Bish, whet? Why would you include your husband’s illegitimate baby in your wedding pics? Just because the child isn’t included in pictures doesn’t mean the child is hated or isn’t a part of the Wades’ lives. Gabby isn’t that child’s mother. The child was conceived during an affair. Cut her some slack! If she’s not ready to embrace the child, that’s between him, her, Aja, and God. If she’s still hurt, then so be it. Two years may seem like a long time, but we don’t know everything about this family and what they’re going through, and we shouldn’t. Social media got folks thinking the pics they see are real life, instead of the highlight reel people want us to see. SMH.

    • December 28, 2015 - Reply

      @The New Randomness

      HELLLLUURRRRRR!!

    • December 28, 2015 - Reply

      @The New Randomness

      “Social media got folks thinking the pics they see are real life, instead of the highlight reel people want us to see. SMH.”

      Co-signs and adds: Social media also got folks thinking their entitled to knowing (and questioning) the intimate details of people’s personal lives and relationships. Had there never been such a thing as Facebook or Instagram this article would not exist.

  13. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    My dad remarried and had a set of new kids with the new wife. I’ve never been invited to their family photo sessions and I’m ok with that. Family dynamics can get complicated and celebrities are not exempt. This article sounds nitpicky.

  14. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    this is silly. we are talking about an infant born into contentious circumstances. already the child is more vulnerable than his custodial kids. way to put a celebrity child in danger. absolutely no reason whatsoever that it represents a problem for anyone but the nosy/projecting/obviously triggered author that the newbie isn’t in more pics. a ridiculous waste of time.

  15. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    And the point of this article is? I guess you don’t know their business as much as you think you do. They owe us nothing…talking ’bout transparency. Ridiculous article.

  16. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    This article sucks. What the heck was the purpose? Maybe the mother wants her child to live a normal life outside of the press. We are assuming that they don’t have family photos with the child. They probably do but are respecting the privacy of the mother.

    • December 29, 2015 - Reply

      @Tikeetha Thomas

      THIS right here! All we know is what they post and what they CHOOSE TO LET US SEE – which is nothing more than a moment or two in time.

      Perhaps most folks are off-base and Gabrielle loves Xavier, as does the rest of the family, and his mother CHOOSES (there goes that word again) not to have his pictures plastered all over social media! After reading some of the posts on IG, Bossip, etc., I wouldn’t either.

      By the way, I’m a big J5 fan and LOVE the photos! Yeah, a “Randy” would have been cute – but he’s not there! Doesn’t mean he’s not loved and wanted.

  17. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    Ya’ll pretty much summed the issue up for me. No need for further comment.

    • December 28, 2015 - Reply

      @Noirluv45

      Yeah, IKR.

      I didn’t have the “words” but EMOTIONALLY I started slipping away at “break baby” label — too much like “crack baby”.

      Dislike labels, so labels for innocent babies/children to communicate an opinion is a slippery slope.

  18. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    Clutch, you are slipping and desperate ‘articles’ such as this shows it. When I first discovered you a couple of years ago I saw you as an upstanding news source for black folks. Your focus seems to have taken a drastic turn to the point that you take meaningless topics, such as this one, and try and turn it into a relevant news story. Nothing to see here. As you stated, know one knows if any arrangements exist between the Wades and the toddler’s mother regarding publicity. Since you acknowledge that, then this was basically a waste of words. Nothing to see here. Can you please get back to actual news now?

    • December 28, 2015 - Reply

      @good2bfree

      It’s Worldstar HipHop and Bossip. Shaking my head.

  19. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    Honestly…I wouldn’t want the break baby in the public eye (as his father) or in pictures with me (as his stepmother) either. Leave them alone for real.

  20. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    “Now I don’t know what sort of arrangement Dwyane and Xavier’s mother, Aja, have about their child being in the public eye, but there’s a difference between maintaining a child’s privacy and not acknowledging their existence in any way, shape, or form.”

    Yes, so perhaps you should not be writing an entire article on something you have no true knowledge about.

  21. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    “Now I don’t know what sort of arrangement Dwyane and Xavier’s mother, Aja, have …” exactly! you don’t know yet you’re calling their family time a charade. ? the framing of this article is just messy as if they do have to answer to you.

    • December 28, 2015 - Reply

      @zamantungwa

      THANK YOU.

  22. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    I don’t consider the Wades to be all that odd. For example, I have a an older stepbrother, and while my stepfather was active in his life, he was raised in his mother’s household. He isn’t in any of our early family photos or at family gatherings…not because he was intentionally excluded, but because his mother is his immediate family. Sometimes it’s just like that. As long as the child has stable environment, what is there to be nosy *ahem concerned about?

  23. December 28, 2015 - Reply

    Some people need to mind their business.

    • December 29, 2015 - Reply

      @lis

      Of course then, we wouldn’t be reading this or many of the other celebrity articles on this site.

  24. December 29, 2015 - Reply

    I get it. This is post Being Mary Jane. I don’t think that there is a huge amount of concern for the baby on this author’s part but she brings valid points. Yet, I do personally feel this isn’t our business. It is family business.

    HOWEVER, this is not the tune that was being sung when the news first broke. People knew what a “break baby” was then. Nearly every social media platform was overflowing with one shady comment after the other. I think even Union’s friends must have pulled her off Twitter because she was responding.

    When they got engaged they said it was in lieu of the “break baby”. That is one of the kindest things said.

    Just think we should ease up a bit on the author as if that wasn’t us prior to our love affair with Being Mary Jane or BlackLivesMatter or where ever we were 2 years ago. We don’t know if this author’s concern is genuine. Y’all know them?

    Applause to the Wade/Union crisis PR person, because …….

  25. December 29, 2015 - Reply

    I don’t know enough about this situation to infer or have an informed opinion. But it shouldn’t be a surprised that an “illegitimate child” isn’t treated the exact same as the siblings that are with the parents/step patents and living within the household. I am sure if Wade would have gotten custody of Xavier he would very much be included. But since Xavier is with his mother and she is the primarily caregiver, it is no big jump that most likely the child is going to identify with his mother side of the family. People can argue that they are treating his youngest child like the black sheep but we don’t know the arrangement with the mother of the child and Dwayne Wade. Maybe they don’t want their child exposed or in the press like the other children and always referred to as “break baby”. Maybe Wade is there for Xavier to the fullest and we don’t see it, maybe he is just the kind of father that provide money to the child and that is it, or maybe he is trying to protect his and Gabrielle’s image of a “blended family/black love” knowing that the public will not be kind to his youngest. Either way like I said there is not enough information to assume one way or the other.

    And I do agree with those who said we need to stop labeling and calling this child out of his name and referring to him as “break baby” y’all might as well say the “B” word because unknowingly it has the same effect. The child didn’t ask to be born in this situation and carry the “wrongs” of his parents.

  26. January 2, 2016 - Reply

    Not my business.

  27. January 3, 2016 - Reply

    No one on the outside looking in has a clue about what their family arrangement is. The writer or writers of this article damn well said they didn’t. Let the people live their lives. None of us are free of sin or misjudgement.

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