Yesha Callahan

This ‘Black Boyfriend’ Has a Message for White Fathers

Spoken-word poet Dave Harris apparently dates lots of white women. So many so that he decided to dedicate a poem to the fathers of the women he’s dated and will date.

“To the fathers of too many of the women that I’ve dated,” he begins in a recent Poetry Slam performance, “the day I meet you, I always straighten my tie. I use the biggest words I know, I break out the good shoes. So you can see them before you see past them.”

“Because when he looks these fathers in the eye for the first time, he always sees the same expression: “That surprised face… that face that says ‘oh, s–t my daughter did not bring home a black guy’.”

“You might never live a day in this skin and I won’t ever yours, but shared experience has value regardless, ” Harris says. “So to all the fathers like you, this is simply what it looks like when your children did better than you did.

“If I am your worst nightmare, you need to figure out what the f–k is wrong with your dreams.” Word.

*slow claps*

One has to wonder if he even dates black women to go through this effort of writing this poem?

  1. August 7, 2015 - Reply

    Lmfao. Typical.

  2. August 7, 2015 - Reply

    Please don’t post anything else about this c00n.

    • August 7, 2015 - Reply


      hahaha! I was apprehensive about clicking this because I didn’t want clutch to get the wrong idea and think posts about self-hating mofos are a good idea.

      • August 8, 2015 - Reply


        right; the title alone should have prevented me from clicking, i lov clutch so i went on & clicked . . . .

  3. August 7, 2015 - Reply

    I think every men should go to this extend to try to impress any father of any race. When we put them (whites) on a pedestal, we unconsciously bring ourselves down. White fathers aren’t more important than black ones. Smh

    • August 7, 2015 - Reply


      He may not be saying that he is going out of his way to impress white fathers. I kind of get the impression that he’s of the same opinion you are: When you meet someone’s father (even though the ones he meets are white, apparently), you make sure you’re on your A game.
      The only thing I think a person should consider though, when they’re dating a person outside of their race, black or white, is that if the parents are giving you the side eye because of your race, don’t try to overcompensate. You can’t do anything with racism. If they hate you, no amount of ten dollar words, impeccably shined Stacey’s, or crisp Windsor knots are going to change that. Just be above the fray and remember you’re there for your significant other, not them.

    • August 7, 2015 - Reply


      Right. Why doesn’t he shake hands with the black fathers and look them in the eye? If this is going above and beyond to impress that says alot about him.

  4. August 7, 2015 - Reply

    I don’t feel sorry for this dude at ALL. You choose to date ww you deal with their possibly racist family. Obviously to him dating yt is worth it.

    • August 8, 2015 - Reply

      @Staci Elle

      I’ll be honest, on the flipside I hear ALOT of stories about black women having to deal with racist mother in laws and families of their SO’s. I’ve heard it so much, I no longer have sympathy for these women. I’m not saying what they are enduring is right but it’s a choice, isn’t it.

      • August 8, 2015 - Reply


        “I’m not saying what they are enduring is right but it’s a choice, isn’t it.”

        It sure is…..

        • August 8, 2015 - Reply

          @Staci Elle


  5. August 7, 2015 - Reply

    When you’re a father and take a look at your “peers” you’d give them the side eye too.

  6. August 7, 2015 - Reply

    His poem is certainly about his experiences and it doesn’t apply to every black person. There are many fathers who can’t stand black people and many fathers who respect black people. In the final analysis, he voluntarily decided to date white women, and regardless of who we date, we still have to fight against white racism and we will always reject the myth of white superiority. Either a person with respect a relationship or that person will not (no matter how eloquent your diction is or how you present yourself. Character is not defined by diction or how you dress necessarily. Character is defined by a person’s actions). I wished that he said a spoken word poem about police brutality, about black history, about praising black women, and about economic justice. Those topics are so much more interesting that his dating choices (which are none of my business). There is nothing wrong with Black Love either.

  7. August 7, 2015 - Reply

    There is SO much wrong with this, but I can’t even get into it all.

  8. August 7, 2015 - Reply

    Like Really? If you want to go play with Lions do not be surprised when they try and kill you and eat you and strip you limb by limb. The same logic applies to this too. I’m done with guys like this who complain about racism when dating a white girls, like it’s something we must all know about. Go shine your trophy case elsewhere, hopefully the fumes may make you see sense. We all know there are some white fathers out there who will raise an eyebrow once they hear, see or know the guy their “princess” is dating is a black guy. Don’t look for empathy where you will get nothing but the side eye for your own downfall.

  9. August 7, 2015 - Reply

    There’s a bunch of hotep clutchettes on here.

  10. August 7, 2015 - Reply

    I really liked visiting this site. There were so many good stories and conversations but this…really? I understand how not all topics on here necessarily relate to black women, like entertainment news and such. But this…I don’t see what the purpose of this was.

  11. August 7, 2015 - Reply

    Searching for white validation much? I’m embarrassed for him.

  12. August 8, 2015 - Reply

    Here we go…

    • August 8, 2015 - Reply


      He is pathetic isn’t he.

      • August 11, 2015 - Reply

        @Mary Burrell

        Girl yes!

  13. August 8, 2015 - Reply

    he can’t possibly expect empathy/sympathy for his plight?? LOL. I hope you continue to get what “they” dish out since that’s the route you choose. NEXT!

  14. August 8, 2015 - Reply

    LOL the comment section. All the whites and black guys came out in full force with positive, supportive comments for this one, in comparison to the one with the two young black women posted a few weeks ago.

  15. August 9, 2015 - Reply

    This dude is a huge Yawn. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: