Yesha Callahan

McHammer & His Jay-Z Illuminati Fantasies

When I think of rap beef, the first ones that come to mind are always  East Coast vs West Coast, LL Cool J vs Cannibus, Nas vs Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj’s nose vs Lil Kim’s nose and whomever 50 Cent feels like picking a fight with when he’s bored.  Last month in Kanye West’s, “So Appalled” song, Jay-Z told the truth took a jab at McHammer:

Hammer went broke so you know I’m more focused / I lost 30 mil’ so I spent another 30 / ‘Cause unlike Hammer 30 million can’t hurt me. ~Jay-Z

Apparently McHammer was offended by the truth, and took this newly formed “beef” to twitter, and referred to Jay-Z as “Hell Boy”, taking more jabs at the supposed Illuminati influences that Jay-Z is under. As if that wasn’t enough, McHammer released a new video on Halloween (how apropos) called, “Better Run, Run”.

Um.

Dear McHammer:

I would like a refund on my 5 minutes and 9 seconds that I’ve wasted watching possibly the worst “diss” song/track/video EVER. I didn’t think there could be anything worst than Pumps & A Bump, until I watched this video.  The pièce de résistance were the last few seconds of the video, not only because it was the end of the piece of shit, but because of the hilarity behind McHammer baptizing the man depicting Jay-Z.

Let’s play devils advocate for one second.

Let’s just say that Jay-Z is part of the “Illuminati”, I can only assume people in the Illuminati definitely have a sense of humor, because I’m sure Jay-Z was sitting in a Yankee fitted, laughing his ass off.  I really feel bad that McHammer thinks that his video is some sort of ground breaking, tattle telling, Illuminati uncovering piece of art.  I’m sure he took all of his hard earned Cash for Gold money to make it.

So while McHammer is retweeting the praises of everyone on twitter, who apparently have no music tastes what-so-ever, Jay-Z is probably on a beach in St. Tropez, counting his Illuminati riches and running his fingers through Beyonce’s lace-front. McHammer should just be happy that at one point he had the fashion world by storm with his Parachute pants and even had a cartoon.

McHammer, this isn’t a beef, it’s more like spam and Billy Blanks would like his Tae Bo routine back.

  1. November 1, 2010 - Reply

    POW!!!!

  2. November 1, 2010 - Reply

    There are people dying all over the world. He really should have used the budget on this song and video to help them out. It was an utter waste of money. It was probably one of the worst songs in history. Not saying MC Hammer was ever a wonderful lyricist by any stretch of the imagination, but he ruined his legacy. Not many people have the opportunity to have varying generations view their work as trash. Twenty-year olds have no clue about Hammer Pants, but now they will remember him for this garbage. Goodness. I was actually amped for him a few months ago because he was at UPenn talking about social media and business. Why do people think it is cool to come back in the game when they SUCK? I think his advisors should be fired. I think anyone that nodded their head in what he mistook as approval should be fired. Friends don’t allow friends to make songs like that.
    Ok, I’m done.

    • November 1, 2010 - Reply

      @Nnamdi

      LOL! He should have stuck with cash for gold commercials!

  3. November 1, 2010 - Reply

    I have a few problems with this video – besides it’s obvious wackness. Sorry Hammer, your rap style went out when you did. But here are my issues, (1) as a Jay-Z “fan” I’m dissappointed that Hammer doesn’t know Hov doesn’t ‘write’ his rhymes. And (2) I’m offended by Hammer going by the title King. Isn’t that almost as damming as Jay’s alleged (and comical) ties to the Illuminati?
    Give it up Stanley.

    • November 1, 2010 - Reply

      @Najeema

      LOL @ Stanley! You pulled out the gov’t name!

  4. November 1, 2010 - Reply

    Yeah Hammer needs to let go and move on and leave the lyrics for someone else.
    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany

    • November 1, 2010 - Reply

      @Tiffany

      apparently he has way too much time on his hands.

  5. November 1, 2010 - Reply

    Hey Artist formerly known as Fungke Blak Chick,
    This is just more of the same nonsense. What would be the Illuminatis reason for allowing Jay-Z to join and not Russell Simmons, LA Ried, Oprah or Black Folks with any semblance of Money and or power. Jay has none of those. His popularity is waning, he’s old. I think the old secret society can do better but it keep Jay-Z name in the news, Goodness knows it ain’t his records.

    • November 1, 2010 - Reply

      @Mista Jaycee

      Maybe I”ll change my name to symbol like Prince?
      A middle finger would probably be apropos! lol

  6. November 1, 2010 - Reply

    I’m a tad bit puzzled…can’t put it in words other than to say what a waste of video tape and studio time.

  7. November 2, 2010 - Reply

    Speakin’ of beefs.
    LL always bummed me. 2pac made the ultimate “shout out” track with (Old School) one of my faves.
    “Here we go; we gonna send this one out to the old school
    All these motherfuckers in the Bronx, and Brooklyn, and Staten Island
    Queens, and all the motherfuckers that laid it down, the foundation
    yaknowhatI’msayin? Nuttin but love for the old school
    That’s who we gonna do this one for, ya feel me?”
    “gamin the hoochies at the neighborhood block parties, I remem-ber
    breakdancin to Melle Mel
    Jekyll and Hyde, LL when he Rocks the Bells
    Forget the TV, about to hit the streets and do graffiti
    Be careful don’t let the transit cops see me
    It ain’t nuttin like the old school!”
    LL got into a beef that wasn’t his (East West? gimmie a break. 2pac was born in Brooklyn)
    That was a private beef that was great for sales and great for record execs. LL was at a low point in his career and thought bein a part of “Who shot ya” would be good. That’s a punk. I still stroke tracks like Boomin’ system and Doin’ it well but he’s a punk…a rich talented punk but since were clonin on the easily clownable Hammer I’d like to kick LL and Puffy for his post 2pac death release of “The long kiss goodnight”.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdQHls7hlds

  8. November 2, 2010 - Reply

    I’m so in the dark. I didn’t even realize that Hammer had a beef with JayZ. Hammer, let it go! I just hope this is not an attempt to revive your rap career? And, it’s time for Jay to pass the torch on too.

    • November 2, 2010 - Reply

      @Tonia

      I’m not a Jay-Z fan at all…I pretty much think he’s overrated, but McHammer is just delusional.

  9. November 2, 2010 - Reply

    This one did it. I am OFFICIALLY a [FLAHY][BLAK][CHIK] fan. I’m over here cracking up. You aint nothin’ BUT the truth.
    “McHammer…This isn’t a beef, it’s more like spam and Billy Blanks would like his Tae Bo routine back.”
    I am so done with you right now! LOLOLOLOLOL!

  10. November 5, 2010 - Reply

    Even if Jay-Z were a part of the Illuminati, no one would believe it now due to Hammer’s wack diss and delivery. SMH Some people need to realize when they’re past their prime.

  11. November 11, 2010 - Reply

    Really, all parties involved are a little too old for this

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