Yesha Callahan

Moving For Love – Would You Relocate For A Significant Other?

Recently a friend informed me that she was moving to Oregon, to be closer to her boyfriend. She knew from the look on my face that I didn’t approve at all. Although they were together for over a year, there were times when they took hiatuses from each other. But now she was contemplating uprooting her life.

When I moved to Maryland 9 years ago, it was under the guise of a new job. But, a budding relationship played a huge role in it as well. Sure I had secured a position, but before that I secured a boyfriend as well. He was the icing on the cake. The Galant was packed, apartment eventually found, then I became a Maryland resident.

Although the job opportunity lasted a few years, after a few months the guy and I parted ways. Although we broke up, till this day we remain in contact with each other. I explained my story to my girlfriend just so she could contemplate her move a little harder. Moving from Maryland to Oregon, isn’t a 3 hour move from New Jersey to Maryland.

Last week we said our farewells before she packed the last of her items into the moving pods. I wished her luck and gave her a huge hug. As she pulled off in her car, I texted her boyfriend, “You better be good to her, or else”. He responded with a, “Yes, mean ass”. Sometimes in life you have to throw caution to the wind and follow your heart. But that also means you have to take what comes next, whether good or bad.

Would you relocate for a significant other?

  1. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    I’ve been wanting to move to Atlanta for over a year to be closer to “him”, but I can’t and I refuse to go down there without a job lined up. I need something to fall back on if we really don’t work out. Luckily I love the city and would rather live down south in the first place, so it wouldn’t be just for him because that’s what everybody would assume anyway.

  2. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    There are no guarantees not even in marriages but I would have to be married to this person before I relocate. As well secured an income, whether an at home business or in that state. Yet that doesn’t mean what won’t work for me wouldn’t work for someone else!

  3. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    hell no…especially people such as myself who are parents. Im not going to take my children away from the rest of their family for a ANY man, husband or not. I was moved from Detroit to Cincinnati for a few years when I was younger due to my mom’s new boyfriend (who ended up being an abuser) and hated my mom everyday for it.

  4. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    I moved to Europe, but we were engaged first. Was I nervous. NOOOOOO. I was excited. I didnt have a job lined up (so if things didnt work out, I would have to return to US, move in with mom and job hunt). I moved there and married on a 3 months travel visa, not engagement visa (which is a no no). But I loved him and wanted to be with him. Years and kids later, Im blessed and have no regrets.

  5. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    After I read, “Although they were together for over a year, there were times when they took hiatuses from each other.” I think that your concern for your friends relationship is valid. And his response to you, “Yes, mean ass” demonstrates a facet of his personality that is, interesting.

    For anyone considering a move, it is important to put all your emotional cards on the table. If there are issues in the relationship, there is a high probability, they will be heightened when you move.

    I have relocated for love. I left the United States, and lived in the Middle East, Canada, and Europe. When I considered moving I thought, “Is this a good move for me?”, “Is this a good move for us?”, and “I have always dreamed of seeing the world. I’m in!”

    Being married was not on my list of moving criteria. I do not think getting married just to move, should be a reason to get married.

    Regardless of whether someone is dating, in a serious relationship, or married, maintaining your individuality is key. If you choose to move, it has to be your choice, not just because of “him” or “her”. You always have a choice. And you have to be honest with yourself about that choice. If you are not happy with your decision to move, you can always go back to where you came from.

    I have no plans on moving backward, just forward. My honey and I are still globetrotting together. It’s been a wonderful 8 years.

  6. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    I have enjoyed reading all of the responses and different points of view.
    Be happy ladies. 😉

  7. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    I thought about it, he lived in North Carolina and was pretty much settled. He always state I could move there after graduation with him since he was pretty much settled there due to his house, kid and job so I didn’t have to worry about anything but it just didn’t feel right despite loving him I can’t see myself settled down in a place that wasn’t on my radar. Maybe because I was being selfish but after graduation I wanted to live in one of the big city and build my career and travel more so I couldn’t see myself in North Carolina nor did I want to give him false hope of relocating for him and being happy to be with him but secretly longing for a different life. So I turned down hos offer and we broke uo but are still friends as well. It really depends on the aspects/place you are in life, the phase of the relationship and your willingness to compromise.

  8. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    Moved from NY to ATL for “him”…… 4 years and a lot of not getting along later we finally broke up. I never really cared too much for Atlanta. Ive wanted to so back home for the longest but finding a job in another state has been damn near impossible.

    I cant say the move was in vein though… met a (1) few new friend that I will have for life. I learned a lot about my self and that I truly can take care of self. I got my degree. So when the opportunity comes Im going home better than I left. B
    But please believe I never will do this again.

  9. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    This sounds petty of me, but I can only imagine living in NYC permanently, so HE would have to move 🙁

  10. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    Mmhm. I love my hometown and country but I’ve always wanted to experience living in other parts of the world so, I would. And I have.

  11. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    Pretty much!! I’m 29 single with no kids. I’m a social worker it wouldn’t be anything for me to pack up and move. If the relationship didnt work I’ll probably stay in the area. If things got real bad I’ll just come back home.

  12. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    I would move if I had a secure job, or at least a job lined up. And I’d only move it if were a place I’d contemplated living beforehand. No podunk towns for me, no sir.

  13. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    SO or spouse b/c bfs don’t get husband privileges all willy nilly.

  14. October 19, 2012 - Reply

    I would never uproot my life for a man that is not my husband.

  15. October 19, 2012 - Reply

    Hell to the nah!!! I wouldn’t move anywhere for a man unless he was my husband. If you mean so much to him….why are you still his SIGNIFICANT other, rather than his wife.

  16. October 19, 2012 - Reply

    Every couple years I get the itch to move, so it’s not out of the question, but I’d only move if the relationship was absolutely SERIOUS, and only if I had a job lined up and would be able to live on my own. Honestly, I probably really wouldn’t do it unless I was engaged or married. The person in this story does not sound like she has a strong enough relationship with the man for her to be moving. I hope she has the means to take care of herself.

  17. November 4, 2012 - Reply

    Absolutely! I hate long distance relationships, and I love new experiences.It’s not just a boyfriend I would move for either. I would move for friends and family too. I’m independent enough to make it on my own if it doesn’t work out, and if all else fails I can always go back home.

  18. March 20, 2013 - Reply

    I would move only if I had a secure job in his area and talks of engagement were on the rise. But personally, if the move is solely for us to be together, I’d rather him move to me (maybe temporarily) and then we pick somewhere to settle together once I finished school.

    But on another (and slightly feminist) note, I find it really interesting how many women are openly willing to move for their significant other and more often they are the one that eventually ends up moving. I wonder why men arent or don’t appear to be as willing to pick up everything and move…

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