Yesha Callahan

DeVon Franklin Went 10 Years Without Sex: How Long Can You Go?

It’s going on three months and it seems like years. I try not to dwell on it, but it’s not like I have a timeframe that I’m sticking to. I just haven’t gotten any. In. Three. Months. But then there’s  Sony Pictures Executive DeVon Franklin, on a promotional tour for his book Produced By Faith, telling Global Grind that before he married Meagan Good, he was celibate for 10 years. Three months compared to ten years? Well, like I said, I don’t have a timeframe I’m sticking to. Hell, it could all end this weekend. It wasn’t like I said to myself, “Self, we’re going celibating (as opposed to celebrating, yes I know it’s not a word)”. I just haven’t had the desire, or time to even think about it. That was until I read about DeVon Franklin. I think it takes a strong man to pull off ten years, but he was also deep into his Christianity faith, so that played a huge role in it.

Some people take their vows of celibacy quite serious. There are also those that assume just because a person is celibate is due to a lack of options when it comes to sexual partners. But that’s not always the case.Whether it’s for religious reasons, health, time, or self-empowerment, a self-imposed dry season isn’t a bad thing. So far the longest stretch I’ve been able to accomplish was 3 years. But after that it was on like donkey-kong, when I got into a committed relationship.

Just because you’re celibate doesn’t mean you can’t date or actually be intimate. There’s just no sex in the champagne room. And to me, sex means no type of sex at all. Whether it’s oral, vaginal or anal, if that floats your boat.  There’s even dating sites geared for people practicing celibacy, which makes it easier not to do the sexy if your partner is practicing as well.

Can I make it to ten years like DeVon Franklin? Probably not. Can I make it till the weekend? Maybe, but I’ve decided to stop counting. Time flies when you’re not having sex.

Have you had periods of celibacy? How long did it last & why?

  1. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    It’s been 22 years. “I can do all things through Christ…” so bring it on! Lol but the real trick is to not have sex as the center of your life, which is almost impossible in this sex-crazed society. Also, if you made a vow to God and to yourself, dating and close intimacy are out of the questions, unless you’re ready to jump the broom. That’s like bringing beers to an AA meeting. That’s just my opinion.

    • October 18, 2012 - Reply

      @Lisss

      22 years??? Have you been single for that long or just not dated in 22 years?
      I’m recently single and I’m not in a rush to find a man, but dating is fun and I see no problem with it…after all I don’t believe we were put here to be alone…and dating does not equal sex. Getting to know others and forming relationships is central to the journey of life (mine at least)…I know one day Mr. Right will come around and I’ll be more than willing to share myself with him…but until then, I’m on the celibacy bandwagon as well.

  2. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    I’m approaching my 9th year of celibacy. It takes a lot of self-control, discipline, and prayer but I’m committed to the vow I made to God to turn my life around. I actively date & men who are interested in getting to know me as a person and not my body are usually the men I date. I haven’t had problems because it’s a decision I made for MY life not anyone else.

  3. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    It will be seven years next month and I’m still here. No biggie.

  4. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    Sex is only as important as you make it.

  5. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    Kudos DeVon. A man who knows how to control himself and not let his body control him. “He that has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.” Proverbs 25:28

  6. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    Over 3 yrs. Why? Haven’t met anyone worth my time.

  7. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    It’s been 16 years for me and it’s hard because I love sex, sex is my friend LOL but when you become a Christian God shows you Him including how He created us and why He created specific things and how we are to operate in them so even in times when I’m frustrated and want to be like shoot forget all of this, who knows when I will be marry, the truth remains AND the result of not doing things God’s way and not merely as a command ie God said I can’t do this, but having the truth in me I won’t be pleased apart from doing it God’s way, I now see it all the way He designed things not what my body says it wants or should have so when the temptation comes I have to shut it down.

    It’s like eating and enjoying McDonald’s for years even though I knew it wasn’t healthy but then finding about about that pink slime, I haven’t touch it since and no matter how hungry I get, not doing it and if I did there would be massive regret!

    Sex I will touch again:) BUT if it’s not within the correct circumstances (marriage) it won’t do no matter how long I have to hold out.

  8. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    With all these diseases and land mines out here, it really isn’t that hard of a decision to make—> waiting for the right someone officially.

    • October 20, 2012 - Reply

      @OSHH

      This! I use to be embarrassed for being a virgin at 26 but lately it doesn’t faze me. Like you said with all these diseases and somewhat questionable dating pools to choose from these days and never really being the one to do causal sex it is not really a hard decision to make. But good for him! People always saying they want more men of characters and morals but when you have one people clown him (not on this site per se but some of the other gossip sites commenters were calling him everything from a lair to a closeted homosexual I swear you can’t win for losing :/ )

  9. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    Shenelle that quality in a man is SOOOOOOOOOOOO attractive!!!!
    We all have the ability to rule over ourselves thru Christ!

    • October 19, 2012 - Reply

      @OSHH

      Yeps! I can do ALL things through Christ! I Love a man who displays discipline!

  10. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    32 years for sex and 3 years for any sort of intimacy.

  11. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    i have been celibate for about 6 years now. i will not have any more sex.
    i believe a vow of celibacy is different from those who are waiting around for the right partner. that is abstinence to me.

    • October 18, 2012 - Reply

      @jamesfrmphilly

      Did you hear about the 94 year old man, who just became a daddy, the second time around??!??? I know you ain’t that old, BUT…..

      I thought of you my love……

      • October 18, 2012 - Reply

        @African Mami

        i feel that olde…….

    • October 18, 2012 - Reply

      @jamesfrmphilly

      Pushing (3) three in December..

  12. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    I was celibate for about five years or so. Maybe more. I lost count. I literally could not give it away (and I am a very attractive woman 🙂 ). I did finally meet the right person last year and I have sex all the time. All. The. Time. Go figure.

    • October 18, 2012 - Reply

      @Tallulah Belle

      Its been a while for me; because I’m no longer in love with the one I’m with.. #gofigure..

  13. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    *dead*!!!

    C’mon now, SMH- you don’t think so??

    • October 18, 2012 - Reply

      @African Mami

      i’m with you!!!!!!!!!!

  14. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    6 months tops! Well i guess i have an all access pass through the fiery gates of hell.

    • October 18, 2012 - Reply

      @Rue

      @ Rue, you always crack me up LMAO

  15. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    I’ll be a bit of a devil’s advocate and say that it may have been relatively easy for DeVon Franklin to hold out because he knew he could get it pretty easily if he wanted some. The man is handsome and successful, simply laying with a woman is not a challenge for him. I really hope he and Megan Goode are a truly solid couple. Just in terms of physical appearance, she is worth waiting for, but a relationship is way more that getting close to a hot body.

  16. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    I can respect a woman (or MAN) who is truly celibate. However, a lot of these new age women are a little confused. The proclaim themselves celibate/abstinent for years
    and they’re neither. The definition of abstinence is; self denial, restraint from indulging a desire for something. The definition of celibate is; abstaining from sex. They have replaced having sex with another human being into having with themselves and a
    bunch of toys (probably while they’re looking at internet “purn”). This is, in my opinion, a very addictive and somewhat sad way to spend years of they’re life. They think it gives them a sense of power and control. I think it’s a false sense of both. These women probably got dogged out a few times, things didn’t work out a few times or they refuse to date any man who in their mind is not on the same level as their last boyfriend “the perfect one who got away”. These women then go and runaway and hide from the intimacy and challenges that having a relationship with a man brings. Mature adults learn from their previous mistakes/experiences and make better decisions in the future. I think, being a mature women means being realistic in your expectations and learning how to love the man who loves you.

    Some of it also has to do with women not wanting to put too many miles on their arse by having sex with a lot of different men. That’s correct; however, having sex with yourself (or running the engine in neutral) is still putting on miles. Maybe not as fast but I guarantee you this. Your value, if you’re over 30, (all things equal) in terms of men options was higher two years ago than it is today. Men can tell a lot of times when you’re putting a bunch of toys inside of yourself. Your not as tight. Also, some of these women have been mast-u-r-b-a-t-ing so long that they can’t have an orgaism during sex with men without self mast-u-r-b-a-t-ing or using toys.

    • October 18, 2012 - Reply

      @Real Talk

      “Also, some of these women have been mast-u-r-b-a-t-ing so long that they can’t have an orgaism during sex with men”

      Just admit that you can’t lay down the pipe like you wish you could. :/

  17. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    Obviously, it is not all on Meagan. I hope DeVon is up to the task too. They are a great looking couple, and hope they are just as great on the inside too.

  18. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    close to three years from 2006-2009 then almost a year now currently from 2011-now.

  19. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    I’m sorry. I wasn’t very detailed with my last comment. I’m actually 22 years old and if you count that my attraction towards the opposite sex started at the age of 10, i guess you can say i’ve been practicing celibacy for 11 years now. Or like another commentator said, it’s more like abstinence. Same battle, different names. And the reason why i said no dating is because i feel that, as a christian, dating should be reserved for those who know that they are ready for marriage to avoid changing partners like some women change purses. Since i’m not at that stage yet, i focus my attention elsewhere.

  20. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    I’m officially tired and over dating and sex. I’ve been celibate for a year now and I plan to go on for 5 more years until I get married. People still get attracted to me and I turn them down. Even Christian and spiritual guys want to date me now but I find no need in dating them either. I don’t feel like getting courted right now either. I want to spend this time to improve myself, increase my spirituality and my spiritual knowledge, and live for myself and have fun. I’m not asexual although I wish I was so my sexual attraction could diminish. I still find some guys attractive but I’m not in a hurry to get them to notice or talk to me. I’m just like meh now. I’m 23 and I feel like I can do better things than to invest my time in a person just for sex or intimate actions like hugging or kissing. Dating is fun as long as I don’t have to kiss and hug someone or they aren’t expecting anything out of the date, but most cases they are so it just becomes an unnecessary headache dealing with people like that. And sex isn’t necessary for me. It’s a carnal desire that requires an intense amount of self-control, even with the person you love. You can easily cheat on a person when the going gets tough if you don’t have any self-control or self-respect whatsoever. I was addicted to sex before. I cheated numerous times because I was unhappy in the relationships but didn’t want to let go of the benefits. It had to take a near death experience to scare me in order for me to get out of that cycle. I didn’t want to have sex with the people I liked all the time, I just always felt I had to. I felt that was required when you fall in love. I don’t regret giving up my virginity though because I felt ready and I’m glad too because I learned a lot. I enjoyed sex somewhat but was pretty much bored. Thankfully I never got HIV/AIDs but even when you’re using a condom, you can still end up with HSV-2 or HPV you just might not show any symptoms but you’re still contagious.

    Anyway I’m still learning about love but falling in love isn’t important to me anymore. If it happens, it happens. I don’t care if I have to be single for an extremely long time. As long as I’m traveling, seeing the world, I’m super happy and tranquil and just enjoying my time on earth and increasing my knowledge of this world and the next, that’s all that matters.

  21. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    First of all let me get one of my pet peeves off my chest: If you ARE NOT in a relationship and are not having sex, that DOES NOT make you celibate…you just aren’t having sex.
    If someone IS in a committed relationship and chooses not to have sex, then my hat goes off to him or her for abstaining.
    But people throw the word celibate around all willy nilly like they are trying to impress others because they ain’t getting none. I could go 3 months, 6 months or 10 years too if I didn’t have a man. But being that I have one, uh, no, I would not abstain from sex. Wouldn’t even try.

    • October 20, 2012 - Reply

      @Blaque217

      Celibacy does not mean abstaining while you’re in a relationship. That’s abstinence. Abstinence is going a long period of time without sex or remaining a virgin. Celibacy is choosing to not have sex even if you’re in a relationship or not and it is a state of being unmarried and, therefore, sexually abstinent. The term is applied only to those for whom the unmarried state is the result of a sacred vow, act of renunciation, or religious conviction. “Abstinence is a response on the outside to what’s going on, and celibacy is a response from the inside.” According to this definition, celibacy (even short-term celibacy that is pursued for non-religious reasons) is much more than not having sex. It is more intentional than abstinence, and its goal is personal growth and empowerment.

      Abstinence is abstaining from sexual desire and what the rest of the world is doing. You want to do it but you want to do it for when you’re ready. When you’re a virgin, you remain abstinent because either everyone wants you to stay a virgin or you’re just afraid of having sex, or some other examples. I choose to remain abstinent until I turned 18 because I didn’t want to be a statistic and because I was scared it would hurt. When I turned 18, I was ready but became addicted. Celibacy is more of a spiritual or personal growth. You choose not to have sex. You have no desire whatsoever for it, and you want to see your life change by making this sacrifice. I choose to become celibate because I don’t think being addicted to sex is fulfilling to my life. I chose to become a born again virgin by being celibate. Even when I get married, it’s going to be a while until I have sex because I have no desire or sexual need for it. I don’t crave it like I did when I was a virgin. And sex no longer has any hold on me.

  22. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    My guy has been celibate for 5 yrs now…Im really proud of him 🙂
    He taught me that love and intimacy does not have to equate to SEX.
    So I can understand that much of Devon & Megan’s relationship.
    Good Luck to them!

  23. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    Try 28! and I have a friend going on 31. And no we aren’t squares and yes we date. Its all about our faith! God is first and foremost!

  24. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    ….10 years?
    Anyone thinks he was “praying the gay away” like gay Christians like to say?
    Lol

  25. October 18, 2012 - Reply

    Wow Mina, I can relate to much of what you wrote and I am 38.
    May the Lord bless and keep you (Numbers 6:22-27)

    • October 20, 2012 - Reply

      @OSHH

      Thank you 🙂

  26. October 19, 2012 - Reply

    Are you holy and horny? Check out this great article from @TonyaJoyBolton http://www.threadsuk.com/holy-and-horny/

  27. October 19, 2012 - Reply

    I respct people who practice abtinence not because of religion but because of self controll

  28. October 19, 2012 - Reply

    Gosh, DeVon and Megan are such a beautiful couple.

    I have never heard of a man being celibate for 10 years, but I won’t rule it out.

    • October 19, 2012 - Reply

      @Lady P

      **Meagan**

  29. October 20, 2012 - Reply

    I believe him. When you’re serious about serving God, you are willing to make certain changes to draw closer to Him. There is a conviction that accompanies it. Yes, there are times when I miss it but as a Christian, sex outside of marriage is a no go. I’m coming up on 5 years in November and I’ve gone out with a few brothers during that time. I’m always upfront about it and I’ve never had any real problems. If anything, it helps to filter out alot of the douche bags.

  30. October 20, 2012 - Reply

    Why is Megan Goode always so shiny? She uses a lot of makeup for such a young woman…

  31. November 3, 2012 - Reply

    […] DeVon Franklin Went 10 Years Without Sex: How Long Can You Go? (clutchmagonline.com) […]

  32. November 27, 2012 - Reply

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  33. April 19, 2013 - Reply

    It is commendable that he was celibate especially because of his faith. If one truly loves God it is beautiful and right to do his will. Let us not only be celibate(sexually) but our souls, minds and actions have to be! like Paul said to the Jews it is important that they also have their hearts circumcised! Kudos to all who try and live by God’s principles. We live in this world but we are not of the world, Jesus prayed for us so that we will have strength to overcome temptations! Sex is great! Thank God for that gift but i think it is more when we love our partners

  34. May 1, 2014 - Reply

    56 years… I am not kidding.

  35. July 18, 2015 - Reply

    3 1/2 years of no sex with no hope in sight!

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